b l o g A d a m

Penang Weekend Trip!

2010-04-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

the room we stayed in

the lemon

Penang!

2010-04-08T10:42:00.000+08:00

Lebuh Acheh Area, Pulau Pinang

the malaysian feminist

2009-12-08T18:31:00.005+08:00

[picture: the lady was shouting 'im proud to be a woman' several times while placing 'censored' cards on her breasts, groin area, hair, face and buttocks and then kneeling on the floor while whacking herself with a spatula.]

analysis:

to be a proud woman [i guess in malaysian context] one has to be a home maker and not show parts of the body to the public. i do wonder why they think being a home maker is oppressive? i've had female friends who are happily married that they rather stay at home and be a housewife than work. what does that say about them? are they oppressed? how many women have they asked why they had become home maker instead of slaving away at work? is it a general population or just a few individuals who are intoxicated with the western version of freedom?

in conclusion to what i have seen from pekan frinjan Woman's organization show last saturday:

1. to be a woman, you have to wear singlets and cut your hair short. almost all of them are.

2. to be a woman, you have to wear men's clothes.

3. to be a woman is to feel oppressed if you wear the hijab and cover yourself as according to islamic teaching.

4. to be a woman is to feel oppressed in general.

ah well.

something to liven things up for the moment. my favourite comedy duo!

dulu-dulu

2009-10-23T09:14:00.002+08:00

dulu-dulu punya bahasa sangat menarik, ejaan macam yang disebutkan. peralihan dari bahasa dahulu yang 'pure' riau melayu ke malaysia melayu sangat cepat. since 1963 the inception of Malaysia bahasa telah diubahkan puluhan kali. to me, the olde bahasa is still the best, no only you get the sense of classical bahasa but also the edge of the modernity.

IN this Night

2009-08-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

uneventful night.
took halfday cos i was really bored with repetitive work :P .
lepak-lepak with housemate.
had dinner at out favourite place
groupbase caterers in bandar sri damansara.
looking for place to move to soon.
thinking about work tomorow.
thinking about business expansion.
thinking what am i doing sitting here writing this meaningless blog.
wanting to continue season 2 skin series.
tomorow friday.
happiness
spa night.
then party?
yeah right.
when have i ever party?
or even club.
i dont like clubs
smelly. smoky.
its choking.
tho id always fancy myself jiggyin my ass to beats.
what ass?
ive got a large bum.
ha ha.
ok absolutely senseless.

snapshots2

2009-08-12T08:54:00.003+08:00

snapshots

2009-08-12T08:24:00.001+08:00

Gah. True Fitness Sucks

2009-07-24T00:01:00.001+08:00

tru

had another letter today from True Fitness. it replies to the Letter written by the National Consumer Complaints Centre refering to my complain regarding my termination from the centre.

i had written 2 letters so far and they had not replied back any of my questions.

my question was:
1. why is it that it written in the agreement that i am in a 24months contract; but the first payment of 1st & last month (when i signed he agreement) meant payment for 1 month + 26th month?? it is not included in the 24 montsh agreement.

2. there was no mention of extension of membership of the same amount of months for the months of suspension to medical reason. therefore why was my membership being extended?

the NCCC has been much help, enlightening me to the fact that as CONSUMER we have every right to terminat from any FUTURE SERVICE such as gym membership but within terms and condition as stated by CONSUMER PROTECTION ACT 1999 SECTION 17(2). Therefore it is ILLEGAL for any fitness centre to state that YOU CANNOT TERMINATE the membership

TRUE FITNESS SUCK!

Evolution

2009-07-23T15:52:00.002+08:00

what began with a burning desire to make some extra cash to pay off the banks (credit card debts.. he he he) turns into a skill that could turn any clothe into a tote bag! :P

yeah we started with just making a simple plain tote bag from kain belacu with handpainted prints. then we develope into making it a canvas printed bag with just the handle.

now jeng jeng jeng.. we are turning any clothe into tote bags.

below is an example. bought the red clothe from a femes furniture shop on sale, added some zippers and a few compartment inside.

hows that for evolution? :P

Outrage over caning for model

2009-07-23T11:28:00.005+08:00

Thursday, 23 July 2009 10:25
(The Straits Times) KUALA LUMPUR, July 23 — A model who was ordered to be caned by a Pahang syariah court for consuming alcohol in public wants the court to expedite the sentence, which has stirred up a controversy. (its very contreversial in malaysia for Islamic Court to play its role)

If her sentence is meted out soon, it could be the first time that a man or a woman is caned under Islamic law. (cool. no more gender discrimination then eh?)

Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil expressed shock at the ruling while another woman MP from the Islamist party PAS said she was surprised that whipping of women was sanctioned under syariah law. (well.. looking at you; ill bet anything sanctioned by Islam is a surprised doesn't it?)

Muslim lawyers, however, dismissed the criticism, saying they were a challenge and an insult to the Kuantan syariah court. (good for you lawyers!)

The woman at the centre of the controversy, Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarnor, 32, told reporters she wanted the ordeal to be over soon to move on with her life.

“I will accept this earthly punishment, let Allah decide my punishment in the hereafter... The court has yet to tell me when the sentence will be carried out, so I would like to ask them to hasten it. (i salute this brave woman, not only she admitted to her offence which was brave of her but also the guts to carry out the punishment!! )

“I truly respect the court's decision... I admit that it's my offence and not that of others, it's not the offence of my parents, not the offence of my other family members,” a teary Kartika told reporters in her home town in Perak yesterday. (May Allah forgive us all)

She was drinking beer with her husband in a hotel in Cherating, Pahang, two years ago when she was caught by Islamic enforcement officers. She pleaded guilty last year. (how come the hubby didnt get the canning? cos he was singaporean? non-muslim perhaps?)

She was fined RM5,000 and sentenced to six strokes of the rotan by the Pahang Syariah High Court on Monday.

The mother of two, who is married to a Singaporean and is a Singapore permanent resident, paid her fine on Tuesday and decided not to file any appeal.

Earlier this year, two others, a 22-year-old waitress and a 38-year-old man, were ordered to be flogged for drinking in public. But both have lodged appeals against their sentences, which means Kartika would be the first person to be caned if her sentence is meted out. (ahh.. malaysians, berani buat, tp tak berani nak bertanggungjawab).

Her husband, who is in Singapore, told The Straits Times that he was unhappy with the sentence.

“As a Muslim, I have the right to teach her and punish her myself because I'm her husband. That's what Islam taught us,” he said, adding that he wanted to remain anonymous. (OH! hes a muslim after all! duh, you were caught with your wife! i know whats her punishment "only soft drinks for you for a week! ok honey?")

“I don't understand why they decided to punish her. I don't think it's fair but let's leave it to God to judge the actions of those people who punished my wife.” (yes yes, Allah sent down the prophets and its guidance for nothing then).

In Malaysia's dual-track system, women convicted under its civil jurisdiction are not caned. But the caning for women under the syariah system is less harsh.

Kartika's father, Shukarnor Mutalib, 60, said the punishment by the court was according to the Islamic laws in Malaysia and that the incident had taught his daughter a useful lesson.

But Shahrizat, the Women, Family and Community Development Minister, did not feel it was a fair and just punishment when she expressed shock at the decision, adding that her ministry was following the case closely. (ahh.. when atlantuya died, did you bat an eye lid?)

Titiwangsa MP Lo'lo Mohd Ghazali, who is also head of the women's wing of the opposition PAS, said that punishment should educate and not cause hurt. (how to educate Dr.Lo Lo, its an open fact that drinking in malaysia is as common as bangladeshis spitting on the sidewalks).

Responding to the criticism, Syariah Lawyers Association deputy president Musa Awang said the judge had made the decision based on provisions of the law.

“Any unhappiness with the syariah court decision must be made via procedures provided by law,” he said.

“Although the two leaders' intention was to defend women, they should understand the whipping methods according to Islam,” he was quoted as saying in a statement yesterday.

He said the rotan used in caning women should not be more than 1.22m long and not more than 1.25cm thick. He also highlighted the “moderate force” used. (ill bet she used to something thicker than that :P)

.........................................................................................................................................................................
finally, those caught drinking will be whip! but i do hope it doesnt stop there with the models only. but how can any one curb drinking alcohol when you can get it at 7 11 shops with are partly / fully owned by one royal family?

plus how do expect muslims malay to understand that drinking is haram when in fact carlsberg board of directors consist of muslim malaysian malay??

confusing isnt it?

i know. :)

lets just stick to teh tarik shall we? its a whole lot safer and yummier.

plus it doesnt stink you up the morning after.

Happy Birthday Aliyah Iman

2009-07-20T11:24:00.000+08:00

pressent from the unofficial uncles. :)
bought the bunny at Ikea then added the Ribbon & buttons.

The Birthday Girl.
sorry we were late :P ehehehe.. loads of love from us!

Most Maluuuu

2009-07-17T14:46:00.001+08:00

i had just done dispensing to one patient when my ass decided to let go a small methane gas to pollute the environment,

it wafted and slowly but surely by stink; it immersed the small little room i was in.

then all of a sudden another patient walked in.

*SPEECHLESS*

Budding business

2009-07-17T10:11:00.002+08:00

Anywhere and everywhere and everything.

nowadays everyone is coming up with their own thing to sell.

its cool, its promising a start to a new trend.

even my sister and her hubby started selling cool t-shirts online.

all based on the new upcoming trend of photography.

feel free to browse:

http://tshirtbutut.blogspot.com/

they have great tshirts!

amazing.

2009-07-16T23:29:00.004+08:00

ahhhhhhh.

id wish he had done it slowly.

its freaking painful.

steady he said.

it'll be over in a minute he said.

take it in he said.

stop it.

it hurts.

though the pain subsides after a while.

and then the numbness sets in.

i feel euphoric.

my heart twitters.

as he inserted that thing into me.

aaaahh.

why am i here?

to see him?

i had to.

it was crucial.

for i needed him.

very much.

.................

demn that meningitis shot hurts!

Ada's wedding

2009-07-16T15:05:00.000+08:00

Farid's wedding.

2009-07-16T12:35:00.001+08:00

its been a while agoooooooooo..

tried my hand at wedding photography.

congrats to my mate Farid n Zila!!

all the best guys!

lari-lari from werk yesterday n i found my muse

2009-07-16T08:56:00.004+08:00

popping cherries.

2009-07-14T16:01:00.013+08:00

it was a sunny afternoon, i had just finish school for the day and it was autumn i think. it was the type of morning where the sun was half past midday, not too heaty with patches of clouds obscuring the gray sky. its always gloomy here, hardly any sunshine if not for the summer. but nonetheless miserable as it was; i was happy.

i took the shortcut back home, going through the fields at the back of the school passing through a little plot of 'wood' which i think the only one left here here so far and over the small bump of a hill before adjoining the main road.

it is through this little road that the most exiting part of my life were to be found. scratches of names on trees and twigs of home trying to build on sticky wooden trees.

as were passing the trees, some of it were cherry trees with succulent plump ruby red cherries hanging on the edge of the branches. if only like it was on tele then by now the sounds of angels
would be harking mad by now. telling me 'cherries fat boy, loads and loads of cherries here!'

though that sounded more like lucifer enticing a cow for fresh fodder. now being me, i seriously would say never to food, especially fresh ones hanging of a tree waiting to be picked. its must been my lucky day!

put my bag down, rolled up my stinking school shirt; smelly cos i've been running all day during recesses, with a huff and a puff i tried to clambered up the sticky trees. struggling to try and grasp with my grubby fingers the little branches that holds the yummy cherries.

i was about 10 feet up in the trees struggling and trying my best to be a little squirrel; so nimble and lithe; when all of sudden i heard a "crack!". first thing comes to me mind was that i tored my pants but as i felt my rather large bottom i couldnt feel any tear nor could i feel breezy light winds through my crack. so what the heck was that noise?

it was without a moment lapse that i didnt have the time to contemplate the moment nor thought of a epiphany that suddenly i lose grip of the brach that i was 'perching on'. its as if the branch suddenly poofed itself from beneath my feet.

im flying?

you cant fly you nitwit.

then?

obviously your falling!

you what? ... i didn't even get to the "what?" part when i felt the compression of flat grass against my dainty back accompanied by a large thumped!

it wasnt fair, i didnt even get to say "aaack!".

i lay motionless for a while, wondering why the sky is spinning. i was pretty sure i wasn't sniffing anything at the moment nor was it my ejaculation. period. a shot of shitty pain buzzed through my back.

damn it hurts!

ha ha served you right!

shuttup.

ahhh.. got to get up. i didnt know whether to laugh or to cry. the pain was so aweful that it made it funny in a rather peculiar way. the sight of falling elephant couldnt beat wat just had happen. even dumbo couldnt top this.

but despite the fact that i may have broken my back, nevertheless in my hands are the yummy cherries!

ha ha back at you who ever you are..

loving nature

2009-07-13T10:58:00.001+08:00

saturday took the day off from the hectic busy life of work and took some time off to embrace nature. went to bukit cahaya, in shah alam to work my butt off walking up and down the hills.

the place was nice and cool with sounds of wildlife chirping their hearts out. the only thing i had to comment was the lack of maintainance done by the administration. like all things malaysian we just keep on building things but don't even bother to maintain it. such a shame. its a great place, and the one of few outdoors activities left for us without inhaling smoke.

lapar?

2009-07-09T13:09:00.004+08:00

kekayaan di malaysia hanya utk mereka, walaupun dari poket aku sendiri:

MAS UNTOLD STORY PART 1

MAS UNTOLD STORY PART 2

MAS UNTOLD STORY PART 3

MAS UNTOLD STORY PART 4

MAS UNTOLD STORY PART 5

kemiskinan dan kelaparan hanya satu fantasi bagi si Datuk.

Apa Ada Pada Datuk?

secara kebetulan, aku cuba menghafal surah-surah hafazan utk persediaan bulan ramadhan :) :

Al Ma'un. Surah 107. the small kindness.
1.have you seen him who denies the Recompense?
2.That is he who repulses orphan,
3.and urges not the feeding of the al-Miskin (the poor),
4.so woe unto those performers of salat,
5.who delay their salat from their stated fixed times,
6.those who good deeds only to be seen,
7.and refuse al-ma'un (small kindness (eg salt, sugar, water .. etc))

scared?

2009-07-07T17:02:00.001+08:00

lonely?

Shaking my head in disbelief.

2009-07-06T10:15:00.002+08:00

Ng Yen Yen spends 1 Million on Jean Todt.

The caregiver of Taman Sinar Harapan claims their request for more funding was futile.

It always best to know what is important in malaysia.

Its so typical. Mat Salleh first, Malaysian second.

thursday dinner

2009-07-04T16:10:00.000+08:00

saturday's grim

2009-07-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

Picture pre event that my DSLR fell to the floor. though it wasnt that high, the camera lens protector cracked nonetheless. the len itself upon inspection was clear, PHEW! but viewing to the view finder, i saw tiny line on the bottom left side. even after using the cleaner the line was still there. my heart stopped, but alas since it had already happen, what i can i say? shit happens... hohohoho.

well anyway, i wanted to tell everyone that frugal mugal is coming up with new handmade accesories, like the heart shape above. its either going to be a locket or a brooch.

i couldnt stop talking about my conversation with both Lembaga Zakat Sg.Buloh branch Ust.Abadi and Social Worker Officer from Hospital sg.buloh. i sensed apathy from them from the way they answered my questions regarding my queries about my patient's welfare. it doesnt take much from them except a few follow ups and do the paper work. im not sure how Ust.Abadi can sleep every night knowing that welfare of Malaysians are taken care off.

well thats being malaysian i guess.

staring at the wall

2009-07-02T17:24:00.000+08:00

Style of your hair
Shape of you eyes and your nose
The way you stare, as if you see right through to my soul
To your left hand and the way that its not quite as big as your right.
The way u stand in the mirror before we go out at night.
Our quiet timeYour beautiful mind
There all part of the list
Things that i miss
Things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss
What i notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time, that i sit and reminisce
The way your sweet smell, lingers when you leave a room.
Stories you tell, as we lay in bed, all afternoon
I dreamed you now every night, in my mind is where we meet
And when im awake, staring at pictures of you asleep
Touching your face
Invading your space.
There all part of the list
Things that i miss
Things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss
What i notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time, that i sit and reminisce.
And you live in my memories forever more, i swear
There all part of the list
Things that i miss
Things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss
What i notice is this
I come up withSomething new every single time, that i sit and reminisce.

a day in kluang

2009-06-29T11:00:00.000+08:00

having coffee at the famous kluang rail coffee station :) .. the buns was superb!

getting some help. i hope.

2009-06-24T12:44:00.006+08:00

Key Performace Index of ADUN Selangor should be how fast they respond to comments/inquiries/suggestion from the general public.

so today I emailed YB Abd Shukor; ADUN Kuang and i'm waiting for his response.

this is what i wrote to him:

salam YB,

I am not really sure under whose area is Hospital Sg.Buloh but since Kuang
is the nearest area, I chose you.

I was wondering whether it is possible for you to sent a representative or
yourself here at the hospital for a weekly / monthly session with patients that have problems other than medical such as socially or financially. It would be very helpful to me, in my attempt to alleviate social suffering and making methadone maintanance therapy work. as you know, Hospital Sg.Buloh is one of the main centre in Selangor in providing methadone maintainance treatment for those who are suffering from heroin addiction. but methadone alone cannot help these patients of mine to overcome their heroin addiction. some of them turn to drugs
because of social suffering; lack of education, lack of employment and the general surrounding. most are under-educated with educations up to standard 6, thus giving way for some unscrupulous men to take adventage of them.

but since the inception of the program here at the hospital, there have been many changes in behavioural sense in regards to the patients. i for one notice the changes in themself when they are not dependant on heroin any more. though that is part of the program, counselling and social acceptance is another. most are employed but there are those who arent. and its these small group of unemployed patients that worries me. they are prone to living almost on the street with no shelter and no food to eat; and to make it worse some of them have families.

there has been cases where children of my patient were given condensed milk or coffee for milk as they cannot afford the powdered milk.

therefore i turn to you Dear YB as chosen representative of the people
of Selangor to help me help them.

thank you for you time.

yours truly,
Adam M.A.
Methadone Pharmacist.
Sungai Buloh Hospital.
follow ups:
this evening i called up the office of ADUN KUANG, and the staff inform me that problems in regards to the area im working in will be best handled by ADUN PAYAR JARAS.
so apa lagi, ring a ding ding office of ADUN Payar Jaras, Ir.Datok Bushro and spoken to Kak Non regarding my pt's problem. unfortunately theres not much help she can do and she advised 'Dato' will try to help those pengundi from his area'. i asked 'what about those who are not from the area?' she advised to seek the ADUN from his respective area.
hurm. Bullshit can or not? i don't think only "pengundi" paya jaras yg bayar gaji Dato' tiap-tiap bulan right? it comes from the state coffers of which the whole population of Selangor contributed in including those 'not from the area of paya jaras'. 10k people didn't vote for Dato Buhsro; maka that doesn't mean Dato' must not help them as well. right?
so then i asked whether Dato can do anything about kebajikan of my pesakit-pesakit? the staff stated that patients can walk into the office of Dato and they will provide help the best they can. this sound promising.
then i started to think about jabatan kebajikan masyarat negeri selangor, so googled up Kerajaan Negeri Selangor website's and i gave them a ring which led me to mr.Rusli who was kind enough to assist me in my predicament. i asked him whether the state government provides shelter and care to HIV/AIDS patients who are apparently have no where to go as both family and society shunts them? he said no. and i asked him again whether jabatan kebajikan provides such help? he said no again.
alamak how can like this i told him. whats going to happen to them?
he advised me to seek NGO's help and i told him NO. hehehe.. i told him i want the government's help. what can the state government provide for these people? these are malaysian for god sakes! (ok .. exagerate abit)..
can't the state government provides a centre funded by the State so that these people can have a place to go to when they can't go anywhere else??
well, you can write a letter and suggest to the Director of the Jabatan Kebajikan? he told me.
okayyyy.. perhaps ill do that..... but tomorow ill have a chat with the pegawai kebajikan at my hospital and see what he says.
until then.
mey the force be with me!

updates: 3/7/09
still havent gotten any answer from YB. its already been aweek. busy kot.. if they cant do anything, the least they can do is reply my email.

my wanderings...

2009-06-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

being malaysian

2009-06-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

malaysians swears by Panadol. my late great aunt use to crush the tablets into a powder and use it as "bedak sejuk" for fevers. she swears it has the cooling effect.

the seek happiness is to find peace within yourself. if you cannot love who you are, then happiness will allude you. take a moment for once and think about being you and for the things that you have. happiness does not come in forms of perfection more of having enough.

malaysians prefers the old method of squirting outside for safety. go figure :).

i would have never guessed that this delicious lauk is young durians. OMG! it was absolutely superb, thanks Grandma!

this weekends

2009-06-14T02:53:00.000+08:00

my cheeky nephew

the shadow of man

God's Will

the cry of the stomach

faces of KL

2009-06-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

sambungan. :) ..

2009-06-10T10:43:00.000+08:00

they serve the best vegetarian lauks and manisan.. so yummy! at the end of Jalan Masjid India.

My feveret Sport to eat.

2009-06-10T00:02:00.000+08:00

grouses for today..

2009-05-26T18:32:00.008+08:00

movement of the month: civil disobediance within borders. non violent pressure to push for whats right.

places to avoid:

malabar's corner, U5 subang bistari.

scene:

1.mamak scratching his feet vigorously (the sole!!) with the knife then rinsing it briefly before using it for cutting up fruits for juices. ARK!

2.mamak touching everything on his body, DOES NOT WASH HIS HAND then continue holding the yellow noodles (mee kuning) to make mee goreng mamak.

idiot of the month:

some clever dipstick: this fella apparently is MBSA person (notice the shield on his plate?!) somebody - somebody lah, and yet hes too 'important' to park properly as every body else. then kene saman by MPPJ! har har..

video clip of the week:

you reap what you sow people, so be nice to everyone else ok!

gah

2009-05-15T14:29:00.002+08:00

gah.

im stumped.

literally.

trying every single bits of my karat brain for some arty stuff.

and all i can come up was somehting that looked like prudential the insurance with raggae like theme. wtf?

yay its thursday..

2009-05-14T12:26:00.004+08:00

several things made me wanted to vomit today:

1. was opening the urine container containing my patients' urine, it was 3/4 full, sloppily filled with wet streak running on the side of it. it was warm in my hands and i was opening it i saw the yellow colour liquid. there was no smell to it, but the sight of its yellowishness in my hands with the heat the liquid is radiating, transported me back to distant memories when a patient's urine smell so bad that it stunk the whole room. i almost wretched out my breakfast. i cant stell bad, fouling odours. even after 3 years of working in the hospital, the smell of shit, urine and just plain bad smell coming out from the wards i still can get use it.

2. i want to vomit on the face of hee yit fooong and those who manhandled Speaker YB Sivakumar.

totally unrelated news below.

oh, Sri Lanka mission is not for me, they needed someone to purchase medical equipment not medicines... kecewa sekejap. oh wellllllll... next time lah :)

at last..

2009-05-13T16:24:00.004+08:00

finally. a post! yay! :P

have been preoccupied lately with trying to chase my dreams (thanks isma for the comment on my facebook!) and with several projects conjuring up like mushroom in the past few months.

1. ive finally decided to get up from my big arse and finally start off a small business. its called FRUGAL MUGAL & CO. have yet to get it registered legally with the malaysian authorities.

2. set up my own little blog concerning my business where all the products that we are producing will be published. so far we're only selling clothe from indonesia (kebayas and baju kurung) with odds and ends of hand bags and such. kind of slow, as compare to direct selling aka forcing my collegeus at the office to buy at least one :P .

3. producing our own line of tote bags. ive finally rekindled my lost hobby of sowing! yes, sowing as in past tense of sewing, not the female piggy ya! .. stoled my mum's sowing machine (borrowed lahhh..) and finally made a prototype of the tote bag! .. hopefully we'll (the frugal mugal team) get it done by 30th may for the Pekan Frijan event. phew

4. last but not least entering myself in the competition mentioned above. breast campaign awareness! i actually manage to understand what all those buttons on adobe illustrator meant for! a lot and i meant a lot of trial and error with most time on the error part! he he ..

5. getting myself psyched about Sri Lanka, deployed by Mercy Malaysia hopefully in june if all goes well. someone has really been fretting about me going there but insyaAllah i'll be fine lahh :) ..

okay lah ..

i got to go back to design that tote bage competition.

signin out!

THINGS ON MY DARN MIND

2009-04-16T12:03:00.002+08:00

WHY IS IT THAT PRISON STAFF AND SERENTI STAFF SUPPLYING DRUGS TO THE INMATES?

I HOPE MADAM SHIRLIN WOULD PUSH QEH TO HER TOP MOST AGENDA, SINCE SHE IS FROM SABAH.

WORRIES ABOUT THE COST OF PRIVATE HOSPITAL FEES THAT MY FRIEND MIGHT SUFFER AFTER HIS DISCHARGE.

IS FRUSTRATED THAT PRIVATE HOSPITALS ARE OVER PRESCRIBING MEDS; PANTOPRAZOLE 40MG BD FOR PROPHYLAXIS OF GASTRO ULCERS FROM ARCOXIA 90MG OD FROM A NON GASTRIC HISTORY PATIENT.

WANTS TO BE SOMEONE IN THE METHADONE PROGRAM, BUT FINDS IT FRUSTRATING THAT HIS OWN COLLEAGUES ARE STILL PREJUDICIAL TOWARDS HIS PATIENTS.

IS FRUSTRATED THAT SOME OF HIS PATIENT IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR.

soooooooooooooooouuuuuuuull searching.

2009-04-11T21:00:00.004+08:00

alamak, as i was trying to change my blog name to something more memorable i've lost all MY READ LIST. i mean who in the right mind would want to remember AOSHI09.blogspot.com right?

so hear i am with new address:

http://adamlah.blogspot.com

tadaaa..

i did some soul seaching and i found out i've lost my soul.

OH MY.

no i havent lost it to the devil, tho my mum liked to think so. he he no ma, just because i bang my head to music doesn't mean i haven't been a little good muslim. =P

its just that feeling where what ever i do, i haven't the passion for it. i used to imagine months back that when i start working my arse off as part time retail pharmacist ill be doing my best to educate the stubborn-know-it-all-kiasu malaysian public on drugs and medication education. BUT! .. after 5 months of sludgin it out i've finally realized that i'm not up to it! it just takes up much of my energy and it sucks! i'm tired of arguing with Aci's, makciks, pakciks, ane's all of them trying to tell them what generic and brand name is!

and ive lost it with my methadone patient too. its like doing the same kind of never ending cycle without the WHOOOPEEE at the top.

and then i went back to my homeland, he he.. well i would like to think that since some of my forefathers was from the indonesian island. looking back at the trip and seeing all those people on the street i cant help but to say SYUKUR ALHAMDULLILLAH that GOD didn't give me that kind of life.

so where is my soul? aieeeeeeeeee

ah something to look forward too..

2009-04-11T15:28:00.003+08:00

this should have been done a loooooong time ago, a place where young money makers can come and ask for advice on how to do business. i was in bangkok few years back and i am always at awed with the kids there at the side of the road selling colourful art stuff which were probably hand made! ..

well anyway, this could be a platform for anyone to start something. with the current economic situation its about time we start to look inwards. try building something from our own hands instead of depending on others.

Kl could be the next Bangkok! :) minus the legal red light districts...

l u c u ! - comel / geli hati

2009-04-09T22:56:00.002+08:00

kesenangan hati uncle nih membawa moto dengan helmet macam tuh, geli hati pasal muka dia macam selamber je. thats life for him eh? enjoy the wind on the bike full frontal, no visor with bugs splattered on it marr the view of life.

fooooooooooood .. what else :P

2009-04-08T23:44:00.004+08:00

aaaaaaaaah.. in our desire to chase all things KACHING.. this man humbly stakes out his life.

yokkkkkk.. tangkuban!

na, sedap bangat!

tots for today

2009-04-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

ah, indonesia.

i can say that those who come will never want to leave.

hai ho hai ho .. off to where we go...

2009-03-31T22:14:00.004+08:00

weeeeeeeeeeeee..

im off to the land of my fore fathers in 11 hours time.

still havent pack anything yet.

excited but extremely tired, gotta let go of certain things first before i leave; like WORK!

im going to forget about it for 6 days!

6 daym days of ogling at people, partying (err..) and foooooood. i just cant wait to sink my teeth into any of those local dishes sold by the road side, apart from satay tikus im all up for it!

ogle ogle olge. :) the beauty of the people.

Health Minister,you owe Sabah answers

2009-03-29T21:17:00.002+08:00

copied paste from my favourite blogger:

10th March, 2009

Dear Health Minister,

Ali,a 32-year old road traffic accident victim, travelled three hours from a district in Sabah and arrived in Kota Kinabalu six hours after the initial trauma. After the initial assessment in the emergency department,a CT scan of the head and abdomen was ordered to exclude intracranial bleeding and intra-abdominal injury.

He was whisked back onto an ambulance to the privately-owned Sabah Medical Center (SMC) for the required scans. After the ten-minute procedure,he was repacked into the ambulance back to Queen Elizabeth Hospital (QEH) to undergo further assessment while awaiting the results of his blood tests and X-rays. His scans and X-rays were reviewed.

Ali was found to have lacerated liver and a fractured long bone with multiple superficial wounds. He was then prepared for emergency surgery.

For that,the young man was then re-wheeled into the ambulance and headed once again to the SMC where the operating theatre and intensive care unit of QEH are currently housed. By the time surgery starts,it was already nine hours from the time of his motor vehicle accident.
My story hasn’t finished,Mr Minister.

One hour into the operation,our chap bled tremendously that he required more blood products to sustain life. It would not be another hour or so before the blood products arrive from the blood bank of QEH to the SMC.

You see YB, blood has to be taken from the patient and passed to a house officer. The house officer will fill in the necessary forms and hand them over to an attendant. The attendant will wait for a chartered bus or ambulance to head back to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital or rather, what remains of it.

Back in QEH,the attendant will wait 45 minutes for the blood to be cross-matched and then wait a while more for the arrival of a chartered bus or ambulance to ferry him (or her) back to SMC.
Anyway,being a fit and healthy young man previously,Ali survived the operation. He was admitted to the ICU and needed a repeated chest X-ray.

For that,the radiography team in QEH is informed.The duo will then take the chartered bus or ambulance to SMC to perform the X-ray. Shooting an X-ray takes all but two minutes. Processing the cassette will take another five.

However,the processing is done back in the hospital and delivered by the next available ambulance back to SMC. By the time the X-ray films reach the patient,it could be anything from three to twelve hours later.

Dear Yang Berkhidmat ( YB ) Liow,

I hope you notice the unacceptable predicament our Sabahan patients (and medical staff) are facing currently.It is already six months since the initial and abrupt closure of Kota Kinabalu’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital.Since then,we have been without a proper operating theatre and intensive care unit.

We are also without distinctive wards for many of our surgical patients of most disciplines. Frankly speaking,the health crisis of the state of Sabah has run so deep and so far along that i do not know where to begin.

I will instead serve an eye-opening fact to you,Mr. Liow. At the height of the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) epidemic,the communist government of the People’s Republic of China erected a 1,000-bed hospital within seven days.

Work on the Xiaotangshan Hospital started on April 24,2003 and was completed on April 30,with 7,000 workers and 500 machines tirelessly on duty around the clock. Far from being a melamine-laced structure,the Xiaotangshan Hospital is equipped with the then state-of-the-art anti infective measures and facilities.

The structure built within a week is still standing firm six years later today,ready to house any ill and potentially infective patient in the event of any unforeseen health crisis.

Mr Health Minister,

That is exactly what Sabahans are in right now – a health crisis. The Barisan Nasional government chants 'Malaysia Boleh’ like some proverbial battle-cry but the Sabah state health crisis has proven that empty vessels make the most noise.

Unlike MCA members,not everyone enjoys being labelled a ‘squatter’. For six months,the medical staff and patients of Sabah have been housed in sections of the Sabah Medical Center paying a whooping rental of RM90,000 per day.

For five months since our forced relocation into your prized SMC,we only had one operating room for life-threatening emergency cases. Elective surgeries were postponed indefinitely even those involving cancers and prostates and suspicious breast lumps.

We only restarted elective surgeries a month ago but even so,the backlog of cases is tremendous and catastrophic. I wonder Mr Minister, how would you like to have a tumor growing in your rectum with no avenue of getting it removed?

That is exactly what our poor Sabah folks are facing. They were without money and without a hospital to get operated in. In fact,they still don’t because they do not have a formal general hospital for Kota Kinabalu anymore.

Heck, we don’t even have our own CT scan. What we do have ,however is lots of bills to pay and debts to settle.

Is it true that the state department of health owes SMC a total of RM 6.1 million for CT scan services? Is it true that Hantaran Wira,the company contracted to provide transport to and fro SMC QEH is paid RM500,00 per month?

Mr Minister,

You owe the 3.4 million population of Sabah a lot of answers for wasted lives and needless deaths. Money cannot solve all the problems in life.

Thank you for listening.

popping pills

2009-03-29T20:09:00.003+08:00

the thing that i realized since working as a locum pharmacist in one of the many many many retail pharmay is that women just love popping OCP pills as if they were sweets! its scary to come to think it, OCP mess with the cycles! ERK.

imagine a woman with a normal cycle and the imagine one with a HAY WIRE cycle! .. there's nothing scarier!

it guess it has to do with the easy way out of 'family planning', the men can't bothered with a condom cos like one of my colleuge said 'its like wearing gloves on your hands, which one feels better? with or without? wink wink.. ' welllllll.... true enough.

one of friend who cannot be named, refused both OCPs and condoms or any type of artificial blocking of the semen and prefered the old method of having her hubby squirt outside. he he .. this was after sneaky investigation on my part as i was 'trying' to educate her on family planning. she lasted only 2 years which is not bad before embarking on another motherhood adventure.

what i was trying to say was, OCP arent sweets sweeties. they mess up your hormonal cycles and those that take medication to stops themselves from having period, well, what else can i say? you've got a very dirty linen up your fanny. oooher..

in conclusion, do try the many variety of contraceptive methods before asking me 'Encik, saya nak start makan pill perancang. yang mana satu paling murah?'

whatthefook?

PEKAN SEHARI :)

2009-03-29T16:42:00.001+08:00

Datang Semua Yeah!! :)

Ill be there selling stuff!

T A L E N T I M E a review

2009-03-28T18:07:00.005+08:00

i guess in my own words i can safely say there are two types of films in malaysia; there are those made with little personal views that makes you think and the other is the brainless mind numbing that a pea-brained chicken could understand; movies such as Cinta Kolesterol (don't get me started on this one..i could go on forever commenting the stupidity and kayuness of the actors).

this movie is almost like a template as you compare with Mukhsin and Sepet (of which i have seen, yet to see Gubra and Mualaf). its almost the same cast of actors which i think works wonderful since most of them has the sense of chemistry about that them which makes you think they are as if what they are in real life.

BUT..

i have trouble digesting the scenes of the english malay family conversations. the change from bahasa to english to manglish and to english yorkshire (or so they claimed) could need a bit of work. i find it a bit flaky as they try to speak Bahasa (poorly), i would have think it would be better if it were a little more natural. its as if it was trying too hard.

the tamil part was by it self marvellous, jaclyn and mahesh and the mum was great! you wouldnt even realise they were acting just to show the narutal way they interact with each other. the street lamp part was hillarious! just couldnt stop laughing on how funny it was.

as i said earlier, movies are somewhat portrayal of the creators understanding on life. in this you realize the things that Ms.Yasmin is trying to propagate on the muslim way of life as it deals with dogs, ignorance and convert. though i wish it wasn't so upfront, the excution was a bit brutal for my taste, the part where Datin Kalsom cringe as she asked Mei Ling's involvment in making the family's dinner. its a bit funny that Datin Kalsom is a long time family friend and yet she fails to know that Mei Ling is a convert, mind boggling or just typical Datin syndrom.

my take on the Mei Ling scene could have been like this:

the scene is shot the family and Datin having tea. Mei Ling comes and serves them finger food and tea of which Datin was offered by decline politely while a look of subtle distaste is written on her face.

as the conversation goes about their trip, mei ling comes in:

Mei ling: lu punya telekong jangan lupa bawa ok.

the m'am (i forgot her name): oh a'ah kan. tadi i basuh sekali dengan lu punya mei ling.

(surprised look on Datin's face)

Mei ling: lu jangan ambil gua punya ah, itu punya ada bunga-bunga colour pink. lu bagi itu hari.

the m'am: eh tak lah, sapa nak amik lu punya. (gelak-gelak).

Datin: (whispering) eh, Mei Ling masuk islam ke?

the m'am: ye lah, dah lama pon.

Datin: Oh. ill have some of those sandwiches after all. im famish. (she then decides to take some of the titbits).

halal is more than just slaughtered animals in the name of Allah, it encompasses those who prepared the food and the cleanliness of it in terms of spiritual conditions.

all in all, i thoroughly enjoyed the movie but every time the part of those mixed-family mixing bahasa and english i cringed cos it sounded absolutely unnatural, the words were over pronounced and emphasise.

i recommend those who loves watching Ms. Yasmin Ahmad movies and thoe who wants to experience real malaysian life in all sort of aspects without getting lost in the kayuness of the actors.

sekian.

Best Actress: Mahesh Mum
Best Supporting Actress: Jaclyn
Best Actor: Hafiz
Best Supporting Actor: Kahoe

Digested

2009-03-27T10:43:00.005+08:00

WARNING
this book is definately NOT for ANOREXICs, BULLEMIA, MODELS AND THOSE SUFFERING FROM DIABETES.

i'd finished reading this Chick-Lit i stole from my little sister's room on one of those days i did go back and see my mum. Yes, you heard me; i did read a chick-lit and Alam you can shut up ok? =P No, don't ask me what i was doing in my sister's room not that i remembered anyways =P but i was just there.

marshmallows for breakfast is all about eating right in the morning and on one special days like saturdays putting marshmallows into the cereal is a must! just so to make it darn special. but my special days is on friday as its the last day that ill be in the windowless room with no view to look out leaving me no chance to catch a 'glimpse' of nurses walking by. did i tell you there's is a college next to the office i work? he he =P

ok im deviating.

as the story goes, this chick by the name of kendra Tamale (sounds like a dish doesn't it?) was trying to escape her miserable past of something so dark and secret that even Lord Voldermort would cringe in agony if ever he were to experience the same thing Kendra @ Kendie went through. (Lord Voldie is one of those poster child for traumatic childhood disorder with the yearning to prove to everyone that he's a baddie!).

she was RAPED!

i think AlJazeera aired a program on the after effects of the Bosnian Holocaust cuased by the Serbian Army last 2 days ago, the unwanted child of rape victims. women who gave birth by cause of rape had massive, internal psychological disorder that made some of them commit suicide and infanticide (killing of babies and in this case their own baby) after the war. they just couldn't look on the faces of the innocent their own children only to be reminded of the pain and torment they had to suffer.

nothing in the world can justify a rape and i don't understand how in the world can a human torture another human without a single shred of pity on their victims.

i once view a video clip, it didn't show much it was dark but the harrowing sound the girl made disturbed me thoroughly. i didn't see what was happening but i knew what was happening. the sound itself was so disturbing that i couldn't compute in my head that a human man existed.

ladies, do take care of yourself. regardless if you love your bf so much but please don't get anywhere remote with him. im not giving an excuse for men (if i had my way the only way to punish them is through public whipping!) but it takes 2 to tango.

men! control your urges! keep your hands to yourself, its not worth it. its not worth to destroy someone elses lives just for a mere squirt.

ladies! stay away from solitary places, you can have a romantic moments at the restaurant not just at the remote spot on the beach. in all your strength men can still overpower you.

pergh.. suddenly went to my preaching mode.

that was your community service reminder from Adam Lah!

anyway.. and so the story goes with the book (yes trying to get back on track) its story of chicks and dicks finding their way into life of marriage, divorce, kids and romance through yummy yummy breakfast.

The Need for Saving

2009-03-26T12:24:00.003+08:00

Apparently there is a lot that needs to be save here in our little backyard;

Did you know that 10,000 people was displaced when the Bakun Dam was started and the State Government plans to construct 12 MORE dams in the coming years equalling to 50 DAMS all together at the end of 2030 with excesses of 600% electricity more that the state of SARAWAK is using. ain't that a mouthful?

Sarawak folks will be very happy as they can bloody well light up every single thing and plant a light bulb as flowers for all they care.

hoorah.

ILL BE 'DAM'NED.

this was all on Al Jazeera last night. i should really subscribe to that. where else can you get dam'ning news reporting that is both truthful and unbiased?

But thats all part of developement ain't it? kill everything on earth and makes loads of money. pollute the bloody land and at the end of the day you'll find that you wont have any clean place to bury your body except in a nice lined with soiled nappies grave amidst the landfill.

aint that nice?

besides why the rush to flood the lands? the ice caps are already melting, rising the sea level and we'll be under water in the next century anyway. like duh?

yes; dam(n) s are one of the greenest power plants but when the cost of it comes in the form of land clearance (decrease the land space for rain forest, depopulation of local flora and fauna, the displacements of the people) is it all worth it?

according to AlJazeera the Hornbill State already has 20% excess in electricity, like Duh again. do you need that much power?

the indigenous people, our people needs our hand in protecting this little heritage that we have. get all the money you want but at the end of the day, the only thing that you bring with you when your dead is AMAL.

berita hari ini

2009-03-25T11:23:00.009+08:00

lets talk about CSR, corporate social responsibility.

it has been played so many times in recent weeks in the newspaper as its the only excuse Permodalan Negeri Selangor Bhd (PNSB) has given for its excessive expenditures on Mak Datins expensive trips and shopping spree.

read here:
PNSB supported Balkis' 'repentance programme' in Cambodia

Datin clearly evaded answering questions when she was asked "Why did the company agreed to sponsor a programme in Cambodia. Is there a lack of poor in this country that you have to go all the way to Cambodia to help?" (a patient of mine survives on RM850/month, with a sick mom to support and that if the company does not cut his wage inappropriately. Another patient ; husband and wife went hungry for 3 days cos they didn't have any money to buy rice). Demn it. i wish they sponsor my methadone rehab program by employing my patients... hu hu hu.

Y.Bhg Datin Hajjah Khairiyah Bt. Abu Hassan (hajjah tuhhh .. fuyohhh.)
Chief Exec. (pic taken from PNSB website)

she must be living in the Kay Ell dream (titles comes with easy money).

i wondered what does CSR means apart from company (state owned = property of the people of selangor) lavishing throwing money wherever and whenever and how ever much they liked?

i googled lah,

corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), also known as corporate responsibility, corporate citizenship, responsible business and corporate social opportunity[1] is a form of corporate self-regulation integrated into a business model. blah blah blah blah blah ........CSR is the deliberate inclusion of public interest into corporate decision-making, and the honoring of a triple bottom line: People, Planet, Profit.

it means the money if for the people, the planet and profits.

so spending thousands of ringgit on a visit to Disneyland is for the people, the planet and obviously profits. don't you see the connection?

i think i do.. errr...

excerpts from the article that makes you want to bang your head on the wall, some people just don't have common sense:

Khairiyah was also grilled about a Balkis "humanitarian" and "financial support" programme in Bukit Tinggi in Indonesia which objective was ostensibly to "learn about the lifestyle and the Malay archipelago in Indonesia". (Datin Zahara got the wrong island kot, JAVA is on the other side pleez, i think she wanted to be in depth of her hubby's culture).

Haniza: "What was the RM16,000 PNSB contributed for? Was there a calamity for humanitarian funds to be paid out?"

Khairiyah: The RM16,000 was to pay for a RM5,000 dinner for 50 pax (RM5000/50=RM100 each. makan apa Mak Datins? Telor Emas?) , a RM5,000 lunch for 50 pax (RM5000/50=Rm10o each, melantak betol korang yer Datins-Datins.) while the remaining RM11,000 was for contingency.

RM100 each for a dinner / lunch in Indonesia!? scratch your head people. wouldn't it be more humanitarian if they were to give poor families RM100 each? but i guess perot tong Datins-Datins would be a better humanitarian activity. There are Myamar Refugees (though Malaysia DOES NOT RECOGNISE them) living in squalid conditions here, of which RM100 / day could help them very much. But like I said, the Datins-Datins view of helping others is to 'HELP' them right across the sea while dining out on RM100 per day meals.

SAVE GAIA!

2009-03-24T10:13:00.002+08:00

SAVE THE SABAHANS

2009-03-22T23:00:00.004+08:00

View Larger Map

i have been to sabah.

i have lived in sabah.

and i have worked in sabah.

with that my heart goes out to them.

so it kills me when i heard my friend told me that QE Hospital has been out of order for quite some time and they have to shuttle back and forth between 3 places; Likas Hospital, Luyang (the State Health Dept is renting out Sabah Medical Centre) and the functional part of Queen Elizabeth would be HELL.

sometims i just don't know what goes on in these people's head. some of the relatives especially the pediatrics wards sleep on the floor underneath the bed of the patient. sigh..

there are no plans yet to rebuild QE (the HEART OF SABAH health care) that i have heard of. the Dept has spent thousands of Ringgit renting SMC and the Shuttle transportation.

the roads are terrible, the health care system is at a stretch; legal and illegal populations to treat. they can always chose to treat Malaysians only but for how long can you sleep at night denying humans from the treatment that they needed?

i love sabah, and i miss it but it kills me that when we are living the Kay Ell Dreams some of them are still using the rain water for basic necessity.

http://unwantedcitizen.blogspot.com/

stop being a fool people, sabah and sarawak are our family!

Abdullah goes back to alma mater

By DERRICK VINESH

BUKIT MERTAJAM: It was a nostalgic trip down memory lane for Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi when he visited his alma mater, the Bukit Mertajam High School, yesterday.

Visiting his Form 5A classroom on the first floor of Block A, the Prime Minister turned to look at the spot where his desk was. “This is where I used to sit when I was in Form 5A,” he revealed before opening the school’s 82-year-old Block C and 80-year old hall which were recently restored at the cost of RM4.16mil.

Back to school: Ong (right) giving English Literature lesson to Abdullah (in blue shirt next to the door) and old classmates at the Bukit Mertajam High School yesterday.

To relive the old times, nine classmates of Abdullah’s class of 1955 attended a special English Literature session with their former teacher Ong Poh Kee, now 85.

Ong gave a five-minute lesson on R.D. Blackmore’s popular novel Lorna Doone: A Romance of Exmoor, briefly touching on its synopsis, main characters, venue and historical background.

In his speech, Abdullah said Ong picked the particular lesson as he recalled that he did not manage to completely teaching it while he was his student.

He said the novel was about courage, determination and perseverance.

“And it is also my advice to students of this school if they want to do well in life,” he said.

He said he hoped the school would regain its reputation as one of the better schools in Penang excelling in sports and academic performance.

Abdullah recalled having to travel 21km by bus from his home in Kepala Batas to school daily. After school, he would rush home to attend religious classes.

“This is where I first made friends with non-Malay students. It is here that I first learnt English. At home, nobody could guide me in my English lessons and I relied on my teachers here,” he said.

In 2007, Abdullah announced a RM20mil development fund for the school under the Ninth Malaysia Plan for the construction of a hostel, teachers’ quarters, sports pavilion and laboratory.

He also approved a further grant of RM3.5mil for repairwork on the 82-year-old school.

all hail the Queen.

2009-03-20T15:14:00.005+08:00

someone said in an interview that it was HER destiny to sit on the throne of Powers.

it would be a fooked up destiny indeed unless everyone and anyone does something about.

i have this thing about first impressions with people, don't expect me to peel layers of dirt or layers of botox that stretched your already ugly face for me to understand that you are really a good person underneath.

the pretender to the throne has a permanent look on her face. its neither smiling not frowning but in constant fixed position as the joker. creepy aint it?

why hid it underneath in the first place? just put out on the plate lah! .. so hard meh?

whats with botox anyway?

in what way does stretching your butt ugly face makes you any less ugly?

All Hail the Real Queen!

All in all as they say, behind every Man (in certain aspects the men behind every women he he.. wink wink but i wont go there) is a great woman to govern the kingdom of her husband's heart. It is the woman who under all that crap talk of being second class are the true rulers of the land. You men may say 'NAY I AM KING' but how many of you falter with the very sight of soft warmth skin around the thighs huh?! Dare you say 'NOT ME!'

:)all hail the Queens of all Queens.. har har..

some ladies in waiting for the pretender to the throne ... ! he he .. im sure she would benefit alot from this two ding dongs..

minggu ini..

2009-03-19T20:30:00.006+08:00

the trip to bandung is soooooooooo looking forward to:

View Larger Map

its been a hell of busy week;

with never ending patients in the OPD all screaming"'why so late ah? system no good leh? i want my medicine cepat boleh?" nak cepat buat sendiri la!

my patient kembali menghisap dadah dalam toilet hospital walaupun he is on the methadone program. nak kene ngan aku esok abang sorang nih. walaupun baru kawin (he told me last week); baru tunang (kawan-kawan dia cakap); nikah gantung (tadi he told me) dengan mek kelate yang comel giler macam tak cukup umur. cakap punya la halus bila aku tanya umur berapa (19!), and then he had to buat aksi-aksi adegan bollywood; mengorek lubang hidung 'bini' dia kerana ada comot kat lubang itu, di depan aku. i almost puke. "jangan mengada-ngada depan aku boleh?" i told him off.

esok nak marah dia but then again i don't know what else to say to him. he heard all the speeches i've given him. i thought when you get married then by all means you should at least try to better one self. paling-paling esok aku halau dia ke klinik jumpa doktor. doktor lagi la dah tunggu-tunggu esok nak belasah dia.

then as i was rummaging my facebook, tiba-tiba terpacul gambar seorang gadis yang i-thought-i-liked-but-i-couldn't-make-up-my-mind-yet in a some sort of baju kahwin with a guy. hah! clicked the link to the profile. jeng-jeng-jeng. dah tunang. what-ever.

curi pic dari http://arjunacipta.wordpress.com - kawan aku wedding deco! :P

Cik S (senior i dont like) tunjuk lagak sekali lagi, kalah HOD minah tuh. i don't know when she's going to stop. i use to be sorry for her, seeing that she's 33 an old maid and not having a lot of friend. but after of 3 bloody years of working here the only reaction my body does when she's in the vicinity is to cringe and all my bowels go the extra mile to make me feel like i'm freaking 3 weeks pregnant.

so far no promising conversation that is good enough to remember for this week, or is it because i don't remember any?

tuesday teaser

2009-03-17T17:24:00.000+08:00

Menjerit-Jerit 2 kali.

2009-03-12T12:31:00.003+08:00

2 kali hari ni i raised up my voice to a really stern level. perhaps i've put up too much hope on my patients. tp without hope, might as well tak payah buat kerja ni kan..

Patient 1:
aku yang kacak: "hang nak masuk balik program nih buat apa? hang jangan nak dok bazir masa kami la. bazir duit kat hang, ramai lagi nak masuk program nih hang tau tak. "

patient 1:"en.adam jangan nak besaq kepala dengan saya, en.adam bising-bising buat apa? bukan duit hang yang abis"

kuang ajaq sangat patient sekoq aku nih, dah la program rehab dia mai tak mai. ada hati jugak nak sound aku balik. ingat aku bayaq cukai pendapatan bulan-bulan tuh (i think LHDN is OVER cutting my salaraayyyyy.. demn it) utk hang main-main ka? Jerit suara hati yang panas nak meletop mcm kaburator takde air.. ada kaitan?

Patient 2:
patient aku yang busuk:"saya tak tahu la en.adam. saya tak ingat, kepala saya tak betol"

aku yg masih hensem:"abang tau apa? jangan nak tipu saya."

patient aku yang busuk:"betul encik. saya tak tipu, saya tak tahu la .. tak betol sikit"

haih..

aku yg masih hensem:"apa la abang nih, kalau tak betul patot rambut pun tak sikat mandi pun tidak. abang buat apa ngan ubat saya? abang jual ah?"

patient aku yang busuk:"tak!"

aku yg masih hensem:"habis tuh mana ubat saya? dah, kuar. g jumpa kaunselor!"

suara hati meluap-luap. nak belasah jugak abang sorang nih. dah la selalu kene pau ngan gengster kat KL (3 kali ooooh.. memang nasib malang). kang kat sini jugak aku belasah dia.

NEW RESOLUTIONS

2009-03-11T21:42:00.003+08:00

REMEMBER CONVERSATIONS!

turns out, conversations between homosapiens are much funnier than reading in books!

plus it saves lives and my ass..

so my new resolution for the month of march is to remember conversation and to write em up in this bloggy thingy..

over and out.

masih sama setelah aku insaf

2009-03-11T21:23:00.002+08:00

i need to lose weight, one too many has commented "wei, ko mengandung berapa bulan nih?"

shoite!

kisah hidup seharian

2009-03-11T19:54:00.003+08:00

"ye encik, boleh saya bantu?"

"saya nak antibeeotik"

"utk apa encik?"

"saya sakit tekak"

"tp encik, kalau sakit tekak saya tak rekomen makan antibiotik encik. antibiotik untuk jangkitan bakteria je encik"

"takpe, saya dah biasa makan"

"encik, kalau encik makan pon takde guna encik. dia tak sesuai, saya cadangkan ubat lain boleh?"

"takpe saya nak jugak antibeeeotik."

"betol encik?"

"betol"

malas betol layan org tua nih... (thus ill never be a great retail pharmacist)

above is part of the dilemma as a locum pharmacist, i get to meet a lot of self diagnosed and self prescribe practitioners. usually the most stubborn ones are the makcik and pakciks and some jinjang aunties who specifically want that type of brand of medicine.

i remember one time when i was doing my attachment at a retail pharmacy, one day an odd looking uncle came in, with pencilled eye brow (or was it tatooed?) with bling-bling all around he reminded me of one of those pimps on MTV.

"saya mau ubat cuci darah punya... "

"ubat apa uncle?"

"ubat cuci darah .. kasi bersih punya"

"er...?"

"ala lepas main itu perempuan, mau kasi cuci darah lah.."

wtf?

"oh... mana ada kitaorg jual ubat cuci darah uncle"

"itu merah kuning punya.. antibiootik apa?"

"oh, uncle itu bukan ubat cuci darah. tp untuk jangkitan"

"tapa tapa saya suda biasa makan..."

go die la you...i hope you penis shrivelled up and fall off tonight

New Mission :)

2009-03-07T19:59:00.004+08:00

KACHING..

the sound of money reveberates loudly in my ears for the past month.

this has to do with the fact that i need Mooolah to detached myself from those parasitic institutions calls BANKS! :P ..

i've got loans to pay therefore the need to find myself swimming in tub load of money is my new year resolution. all by legal means!..

its all start TODAY!

getting myself materials from Indonesia to sell.

going to start my own internet shopping blog and of course the old style of push selling..

'kak come see this beautiful silk pario from Indonesiaa.. cheap and beautiful! definately looks good on you! ..HONEST!' :P

The president has spoken

2009-03-04T10:59:00.003+08:00

IT must be appreciated that the events unfolding in Perak are unprecedented and involve complex legal issues. It is impossible to provide a conclusive opinion on them. Some matters may, however, be addressed generally as a matter of principle.

Today 27 assemblypersons in Perak were prevented by the OCPD from entering the state secretariat building, apparently upon "instructions" from the state assembly secretary.

The role of the state assembly secretary now comes under scrutiny. The secretary is an official appointed from the public services and is only responsible for the administrative management of the state. The secretary therefore has no authority to decide or pronounce whether a legislative assembly sitting is valid or not. The police have therefore acted improperly on the secretary's advice in defiance of the speaker of the legislative assembly. These errors are further compounded by events that transpired in the High Court.

It was asserted before the court by the plaintiff's lawyers that the speaker ought to be represented by the state legal adviser rather than private lawyers. There is certainly legal basis to disagree with that view, but a more substantive matter of general principle must be addressed as to the position of the state legal adviser.

Firstly, every lawyer must act on the instructions of his or her client and not otherwise. The speaker has stated that he never gave instructions to the state legal adviser to either appear for him or to argue the case on his behalf. This is a matter that the court must satisfy itself of before proceeding.

Secondly, the state legal adviser is clearly in a position of conflict. He and his department are presently acting for Barisan Nasional (BN)-installed Menteri Besar Datuk Dr Zambry Abdul Kadir in the Kuala Lumpur High Court suit, where Zambry's appointment is being challenged. How can he or his department now act for the speaker against Zambry?

If the parties who file and defend proceedings in court are confident of the strength of their case, there is little reason to taint or mar the proceedings with acts that militate against natural justice and fair play. It bears repeating that justice must not only be done but must be seen to be done. The courts have a duty to uphold the highest principles of justice, fairness and their own independence. We must respect the doctrine of separation of powers and uphold the Federal Constitution.

The Perak Legislative Assembly was convened by the speaker a short distance from the state secretariat building. There are questions as to whether it was permissible to hold the legislative assembly outside the state secretariat building. Of course, the state secretariat building is where the legislative assembly ought to have been held. However, the speaker and assemblypersons were prevented from holding it in the proper place by the police, and this raises serious issues as to the legality of the police action.

Thus, the speaker had no choice but to act within what may be seen as wide powers to convene the meeting elsewhere. No doubt there will be contrary views, but it must be understood that this situation is unprecedented, and the Standing Orders may not adequately cover these eventualities. Thus, this leaves the speaker with the powers to act according to the circumstances of the case.

We will no doubt see another case filed in court. And the public has to further suffer the consequences of uncertainty.

The situation is untenable and cries out for the one thing that will resolve it conclusively: fresh elections. There is now a window of opportunity for this to happen. Let the people decide.

Datuk Ambiga Sreenevasan
President
Malaysian Bar

all these being said, is anyone going to listen at all?

b' d a y

2009-03-03T19:15:00.005+08:00

last saturday was my housemate's 36th or was it 38th birthday, i don't know. he looks younger than he really is. thought of surprising him at home after his volleyball game with some mates, ordered some yummy cupcakes from my sister (yes it can be ordered!) and we waited for him to come back.

10pm ....

11pm....

and only till 12.30 did he reached home. by then ben was sprawling on the floor sleeping, farid was off in some distant land in his head while me and shahril were trying to keep ourselves awake with brainless tv.

sang to him the jolly old song 'happy birthday to you, you were born in the zoo... ' and he blew out the candles while still standing by the door. he pretended to act surprised with all this since he knew something was up.. ah well. perhaps next year will be a greater surprise that he'll get a heart attack :) .. he he ..

anyway ..

happy Bro. thanks for being the bestest landlord / housemate..

N O W

2009-03-03T11:45:00.003+08:00

it begins today.

in the slight breeze,
under the clear blue sky.
a moment,
that will be remembered.

Taken from the Star 27th Feb

2009-02-27T08:34:00.005+08:00

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has asked for the decision to increase the toll rates on five major highways to be reconsidered.

Abdullah, who joined a chorus of various consumer-related bodies in the call for the reconsideration, said the matter would be discussed in the Cabinet meeting today chaired by Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.

I don't know how things work in the ministry, but i think shouldn't big issues like this go through PM first? But thank you though PM for considering the toll rates increase and putting it on hold. I feel so much better already. Your're the BEST!

Mohd Zin had said road users would have to pay higher tolls for five major highways beginning March 1.

The highways affected are the North-South Expressway (PLUS), Sprint / Kerinchi / Damansara Link highways, Ampang-Kuala Lumpur Expressway (Akleh), Sungai Besi Highway and the New Pantai Expressway (NPE).

Abdullah said the decision to increase the toll rates was made two or three weeks ago.

“However, the situation has now changed, and the economy has not become better as yet, he said.

Can the economy get better in 2 -3 weeks?

“People are having difficulties. The situation is not right for a toll increase. I feel the matter needs to be discussed again in the Cabinet.”

He understands! I'm going to cry now.

“The decision may come in the form of measures that will included in the second stimulus package or through some other measures.

“I think that’s the best that we can do – conduct a review and decide on whatever that is appropriate,” he told reporters after attending the Third Asean Defence Ministers’ Meeting here yesterday. Today he will be in Hua Hin to attend the Asean Summit.

In Petaling Jaya, the Federation of Malaysian Consumer Associations said the Government must immediately renegotiate all concession agreements.

Secretary-general Muhammad Sha’ani Abdullah said the Government’s decision to allow highway concessionaires to increase toll rates was not in line with the economic policies to deal with the current economic situation.

Pan-Malaysian Bus Operators Association president Datuk Ashfar Ali said the timing of the toll increase was bad.

“It is ridiculous for the Government to keep increasing the rates when they are dragging their feet on a fare increase for the bus industry,” he said.

Pan-Malaysian Lorry Operators Association president Er Sui See said he proposed that the Employees Provident Fund buy over the highways.

What we need is a major boost in the public transport!

Commit ourselves to an extensive network of buses, LRTs and taxis. If we do this the impact of congestion (people like me would love to stop driving), pollution in KL (do we want another Athens?), savings for the people (people have more money to spend = which will definitely help the economy, i suppose) and jobs for the jobless (all this public transport needs people to manned them).
If only less bickering and more work!

yay toll hikes :)

2009-02-26T19:36:00.005+08:00

i told myself 2009 will be an interesting year.

new old stories.

new adventures.

and hell load of interesting political crap going on.

latest ambush at the Parliament, toll hikes and coup d'tat.

WOW!

new old stories
'they still think that you took the money'

'WHAT? you mean all this while, after 5 years they still think i took his money?!'

'yes'

'you know what?! i cleaned up after his mess, i pick up his 10ringgit notes which lies all over the place and i check his pockets for loose change before putting his dirty pants in the laundry basket and he still has the cheek to tell me that i stole his money?'

'yep'

'damn them all'

'beb, jgn la marah. aku paham perasaan ko, ko biarkan je lah dia org tuh'

'cheh, what ever'

new adventures
2000km in 5 days, driving to Thailand and nearly getting caught for 'entering illegally' by the authorities has been the highlight of february. drove all the way from Kuala Lumpur-Kuala Terengganu-Kota Bharu-Narathiwat-Pattani-Songhkla-Penang-Kuala Lumpur in 5 days while the oil is still low. Nevermind that the government has took back its decision for that compensation plan (rm300++ for cars) as long as the oil is damn cheap im fine!

it cost us about rm500 to drive us for the 5 days adventure in my trustee white (almost) myvii.

narathiwat and pattani had loads of malay speaking malay-Thai, while songkhla we had to resort to hand gestures for food.

new me

'ko dah gemok'

'shuttup'

new road

DUKE (duta ulu kelang expressway) has just recently open up, causing more bottleneck jem at the jalan ampang intersection with the MRR2.

im sure they did a WHOLE study on the impact of DUKE.. im rolling my eyes nows.

new drama

i would love to see Gobind Singh and KJ in the rings with boxing gloves.

mak cik fidah with mak cik pijat. that would be fun wouldnt it?

MONEY MONEY

2009-02-25T18:35:00.004+08:00

KACHING!

who doesnt like the sound of money?

I DO! he he..

well, in the current economic crisis and desperation most of my friends are turning into business men/women. even though they all a full time job, they have now opted to start selling stuff on the net, mostly tudungs. (do click the links on your right!). the Kebaya's are an excellent gift for your self if not your love ones.

well why not eh?

you cant always expect help from the government to prop up the economy with bogus money (i don't believe we have that much!) so to sustain ourselves with the problems that is coming in the Ox year (not that i believe any of those feng shui 'luck' poh poh lilian keeps spewing on astro) lets all start selling something. at least the money is going round between ourselves.

its going to be a Bull-shit Year :P ..

the ringgit is going up and up against the US Dollar. Pray it'll come down soon!

The Noble Qur'an - 17:26
And give to the kindred his due and to the
Miskîn (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the
manner of a spendthrift* . [Tafsir. At-Tabarî, Vol. 10, Page 158 (Verse 9:
60)].

bee hone sop almost..i said almost

2009-02-24T22:40:00.002+08:00

a night out at the pasar malam was all i needed to unwind my 2 days of never ending emotional disturbance. in natural terms its equivalent of 8.5 richter scale.

2;153. O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.

food and God gives me comfort in the time that shakes the core.

gingery carrot.

2009-02-24T22:31:00.001+08:00

badabam!

2009-02-23T21:01:00.001+08:00

ah yes, the splitting headache cometh..

i always wondered how a single sms can either blow me off to heaven or hell in one go.

& i've always thought i passed that phased already and yet tonight sudden revelation to la meme stirred not but the biggest pole in my soul.

so penat. trying, just trying.

i would like to be left alone.

Read the Qur'an Week

2009-01-26T19:10:00.002+08:00

excerpts for today:

Creating an Islamic Society All civilized societies have some built-in system of indoctrination to ensure that people behave in a socially acceptable manner.8 The Islamic society is no exception to this. The Islamic government cannot remain passive to the ethical conditions of the people since, to a large extent, it depends on the voluntary ethical behavior of its people. The Qur'an obliges the Islamic state to enforce proper behavior and to restrain people from improper behavior. An Islamic society is responsible for creating institutions that inculcate each citizen with Islamic norms. People should learn to sacrifice their short-term personal interests for the greater good of the society. The belief in the hereafter should be embedded in the minds of all so that everyone abides by the rules of social conduct. Society should also create a system of threats for those who try to violate the norms. Only in this way can the Islamic society perpetuate itself and be safe from external onslaught. Regulatory Role of the Islamic State

taken from:
http://www.islamonline.net/iol-english/qadaya/economy2/economy-2.asp

Remy Burger / Darabif Burger

2009-01-26T17:41:00.005+08:00

the most common question i would get every time i preach the way of boycotting those american goods that support the israel apertheid would be "whats going to happen to our economy?"

"yes what would happen to our economy?" i retort back

"well think about the jobs and money we'll lose if we boycott them."

i will pause for a moment and let that statement sink into the moment. i would look at them and i would smile.

"why are we so dependant on them?"

why are our economy so dependant on the american goods?

we don't have too, like what Farish Noor mentioned in his article, let our economy suffer if we were to boycott the products. it as this time of desperation will only we realized our own potential. the need to rise up from the economic woes and come up with our own model of fast food chain.

the consumer in malaysia aren't stupid. even though our spending power aren't as much as the singaporean when they come here to visit, but ill bet its enough to prop up our own market without getting bullied by the problems faced by our western friends.

my suggestion:

there is an upcoming fast food chain of Malaysian Home Grown Product, though i have yet to get the details of the restaurant available but they do, do home deliveries. if you haven't tried their products then you should! the beef patties are nice and succulant.

for more info go to their website: http://www.darabif.com.my/index.html

that if you would like to have restaurant kind of feel, for those who cant live without air conditioned environment with the same feel as MCD.

but for the normal joes who wouldn't mind eating of the streets, those ramly burger stalls are just as good. nowadays there so many of them to choose from, from Otai Burger chains to just simply Mat Rempits Stalls dotting the klang valley.

for a sample of Ramly Burger products: http://www.ramly.com.my/eng/ramly2.html

so my worried friends, there are always alternatives to everything. you just gotta chose!

my love for pau.

2009-01-21T21:35:00.004+08:00

me and pau has gone a loooooooooong way.

i remember the days that i was starving myself for the sake of being a greek hero, Pau saved me.

pau, a modest yet greatest cheapest food ever created by the chinese. its historic beginning and endless starring in movies cannot deny it superstardome status. no other food can deny its celebrity aura. from the classic shaolin movies to the stephen chow kung fu flicks, pau has been its staple diet.

it is the ultimate poor man's food.

its white fluffy coats hides the inner filling depth that with one bite, it chase all traces of hunger. it comes in a multitude of flavour that leaves you endless mouth watering choices, the kaya, the moist red bean to the exotic rendang daging flavour pau has embedded itself in all many cultures. though we have yet to have a dhal flavour pau for the indian community.

i've heard the pau in tanjung malim is to die for, so i guess that'll be my next trip!

[sorry to leave this entry hanging, currently feeling slightly 'hung over' from too much activity in one day, not to mention the thought of servicing methadone at AADK centres.. sigh. ITS TOO MUCH!]

bored with the same ol shit.

2009-01-20T19:36:00.003+08:00

picture paints a thousand words eh? .... oh well .. i try.

the book that lasted 1430 years

2009-01-20T16:26:00.003+08:00

So, instead of getting all excited about valentine's day (which has nothing to do with our culture whats so ever) i think i might as well join Mdm.Marina and her friends on the "lets read the Qur'an Campaign."

Here are some of the jist of this campaign. Copied from Mdm.Marina Mahathir's blog.

Peace!

We need your participation!

Campaign name: Let’s Read The Quran

On January 1st 2009, four friends Syed, Walski, Marina and Anas got together at Coffee-Bean Bangsar Village and decided to launch a campaign to encourage people to read and understand the Quran better.

This campaign is not only for Muslims, but also for our brothers and sisters who are Christians, Buddhists Hindus, Sikhs and those who believe in a God-Head but not so gung-ho about being in any brand of religion, too – come join us and share your ideas! You can join this campaign even if you are an atheist!

The goal of this campaign is to encourage people to read the Quran in the language they understand most and find in it areas of common values in our day-to-day living.

What is the Campaign all about?

Read the Quran in the language that you are familiar with.

When will the campaign start and end?

January 15th to February 14th (Happy Valentine’s Day!)

Where?

Participating blogs in the blogosphere.

Why?

So more people know what the Quran says and what the Quran does not say and to match it to what is really said in our daily lives.

Who?

Everyone who wants to – the more the merrier! If you have a Blog, Facebook, etc carry the logo/icon.

How?

- To join the campaign, place the accompanying logo/icon at your blog.
- Write or share short articles based on the Quranic text.
- Share what you find in the Quran with family and friends.
- Ask questions about the Quranic message
- Read the Quran – eg click here http://www.islamicity.com/QuranSearch or www.altafsir.com

Peace and Thanks,

Marina Mahathir, Rantings by MM, http://www.rantingsbymm.blogspot.com
Syed Akbar Ali, OutSyed the Box, http://www.syedsoutsidethebox.blogspot.com
Walski, myAsylum, http://www.asylum60.blogspot.com
and,
Anas Zubedy , http://www.letusaddvalue.blogspot.com

Participating Blogs

1. 3540 Jalan Sudin http://www.nursamad.blogspot.com/
2. ARTiculations: http://art-harun.blogspot.com/
3. Being Human in the World: http://www.peru.name/writing
4. Cowboy Malaysia: http://cowboymalaysia.wordpress.com
5. Disquiet: http://malikimtiaz.blogspot.com
6. Jebat Must Die: http://jebatmustdie.wordpress.com/
7. Lunch at the Lake Club: http://lunchatthelakeclub.blogspot.com
8. MACVAYSIA: http://macvaysia.com
9. O.B.E. http://shar101.wordpress.com/
10. Poetic Justice: http://nizambashir.com/
11. Rapera: http://jahaberdeen.blogspot.com/
12. Renovatio: http://stephendoss.blogspot.com
13. Rocky's Bru: http://rockybru.com.my/
14. Write Away: http://elviza.wordpress.com/
15. Writing By Amir: http://amirmu.blogspot.com/

a book that lasted 1430 unchanged, what does it say about that? it has been touched and studied by hundred of years and yet the text have not changed at all. it was still the same old words that was spoken when it was came to man.

the words are old but the wisdom is ever lasting.

many have been touched by the forgiveness it brings, the calmness it sets in everyone's heart and the security it gave.

it is a miracle like no other.

bandung oh bandung

2009-01-20T12:17:00.002+08:00

in the wake of all this trouble times, a little glass of bandung grass jelly would the trick. after a hectic week of managing events and what not its this kind of lay back enjoyment can unwind the strictest knots.

i guess i'm taking charge of myself now be what i want and who i want to be.

2009 is a long year ahead.

lets us start with the right foot.

makan2

2009-01-18T10:49:00.002+08:00

friday night's dinner. leek and potato soup with hot bread roll.

recipe:
leeks
potatoes
chicken cubes - 2 pieces
a cup of milk
salt

boil em together then you blend em till nice and soft.

imploded.

2009-01-15T20:09:00.002+08:00

the pictures aint nothing got to do with what im writing, just thought they look good.

[last night dinner, improvised chilli corn carne with nachos and baguette; abg zul loved it!]

im happiest when people loved eating what i made, looking at abg zul's face when he chomped away at my half in hour meal was something that made my tired day go away. pergh.. giler corny.

anyway .. it was delicious, made from scratch and from left overs i think its one of those dinners when you have to have friends around. the element of bonding over meals is priceless. the warmth filling inside the stomach and all weariness melts away with each bite.

highlight of the day:

aku: you ada minum ka?
patient: takda
aku: you jgn tipu saya, you ada minum ka.. ?
patient: betol saya tak minum .. sumpah doctor..
aku: siva (nama telah ditukarkan) .. you jgn tipu saya, you bau arak ok.. you ada minum ka?
patient: betol doctor saya tak minum
aku: sekali lg .. you jgn tipu saya, saya ada bau, you minum ka?
patient: ada semalam doctor.. tp hari nih takda minum..

[wtf?]

aku: SAPA SURUH YOU MINUM? YOU MAU MATI KA? HAH SIVA?
patient: takde doctor.. tp semalan saja saya minum
aku:SAYA TAK KISAH SEMALAM KE, MINGGU LEPAS KE, ARI NIH KE, SAPA SURUH YOU MINUM? ADA SAYA SURUH YOU MINUM?
patient: takde doctor..
aku: HABIS TUH?

[stress aku dibuatnya]

aku: you setahun minum metadon mcm ni jugak! .. bila mau berubah? hah?! apa lg you nak? kalau ada masalah you come and talk to me atau sapa-sapa..
patient: sorry doctor..
aku: sorry? berapa kali nak sorry? hah?! tahun lepas you berapa kali dah mintak sorry ngan saya? bosan aku mcm ni .. kenapa you nak susahkan diri you? you minum nih ingat bagus ka? boleh kasi sihat?
patient: kawan juga yg kasih doctor.. saya tak mau tp dia jugak suruh minum ..
aku: you jgn nak salahkan kawan you!! takkan kawan bagi tahi u makan jugak? bodoh sgt ke?! saya tahu you tak bodoh! you ada akal ada otak, jgn bg alasan mcm tuh!

[suara dah kuat dah nih .. uitm students who came to watch me dispense, dispersed else where..suddenly the dragon arised]

aku: kenapa you mau minum hah? you tgh kerja you minum? apa macam? mcm mana nak jaga kalau you mabuk-mabuk? hah? you jgn bazirkan trust / kepercayaan yg boss bg kat you. you paham tak apa jd bila you dah mabuk? you nak kene buang kerja ke? come on lah siva, you dah 30 tahun. this is the new year, ubah la diri you sikit. boleh tak? program ni 2 tahun je. kalau setahun lg tak jd apa2 we all boleh je buang you dari program nih. to change comes from inside, diri you sendiri yang nak berubah. make a small change at least. make the initiative.

[sive head bowed down, he was wiping his eyes on his sleeves, i toned down my voice at this part]

aku: come on la... you jgn jd mcm nih, you sakit sekarang nih. ok? you jgn bodoh sgt percaya kan org ke? YOU ARE NOT STUPID SIVA! SERIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT. OK?

at this point he was crying and i was tired. i stopped scolding him, gave him his drug and refused to supply his take away doses. he got angry and resorted to threatening to take heroin again at which point i said 'AMIK LA!' and when off to see the doctor.

the psychiatrist called me up and i explained and she said 'i agree with you'.

then he came down again, wanting to take the take away dose for 3 days, i refused and told him i give him 1 and he has to come again on saturday. he got angrier and said 'you eksyen ah skang'.

i wanted to tell him 'FUCK YOU'. but i was already raising my voice infront of all the other patients so i didnt and he left.

demn ungrateful patient.

oh heavens came crashing down around me

2009-01-14T18:38:00.003+08:00

wonderous things comes in small sizes or sometimes in huge lunches. today's lunch of half baguette (toasted) with tuna filling (sizzled with black pepper, olive oil and mayo) topped with baked beans was to die for.

i predict this week will be the baguette lunch week, due to the fact that i had bought 2 mini baguettes (by right should have been called baton) from carrefour.

bonne appetite!

How we can help

2009-01-13T19:05:00.002+08:00

at whose expense do you enjoy your drink?

quoting Farish Noor website:

In a space of 12 months after the crisis broke out, I had written 2 academic papers, given 8 talks and took part in six international conference on the issue. Now let me recount one of these conferences in some detail. It was a conference held in an Arab country that was put together by an American-European business planning institute and present at the meeting were CEOs of some of the biggest players in the capitalist world. I am not at liberty to go into the details of the discussions we had due to the Chatham House rules by which we operated, but let me just say that one CEO in particular was at the helm of one of the biggest automobile companies in Europe.
This is what the CEO of the European car company had to say to me: “33 per cent of our exports go to the Arab world, and 15 per cent goes to the developing world. If a major global boycott of our cars is carried out, we can hold out for 6 months before retrenchments begin. After 12 months we close down for good, because we can never recover after such a thing.”

Now these were the words of one of the most important CEOs on the planet. Cognisant of the fact that their luxury cars are increasingly bought in Asia and the Arab world, he knew very well what a boycott of their cars would do. And the man was scared. Terrified in fact.

That the CEO of a company as powerful as this could tremble before the prospect of a clientele that exercises their collective will is instructive. I saw the same with the other CEOs and at all the business meetings I took part in during the 12 months after the Danish cartoon controversy. This proves several things, namely:
That boycotts work and that they scare the living daylights out of even the most powerful companies;

That boycotts have the power of equalising power relations between producers and consumers, and thereby restores power and dignity to consumers who should never be seen as passive sheep;

That consumers can dictate the terms of production and management in the same way that consumers have compelled companies to adopt environmentally-friendly modes of production and to halt unethical business and investment practices.

from Boycott Israel:

RESEARCH FINDINGS :

From 1966 onward Coca-Cola has been a stauch supporter of Israel.[4]

In 1997 the Government of Israel Economic Mission honored Coca-Cola at the Israel Trade Award Dinner for its continued support of Israel for the last 30 years and for refusing ro abide by the Arab League boycott of Israel. [1]

[ In contrast Pepsi abided by the Arab League boycott of Israel which ended in May 1991, after 1992 Pepsi is also trading in Israel - see [2] ]

In 2001 the Coca-Cola World Headquarters hosted and was the main sponser of the American-Israel Chamber of Commerce Awards Gala.[5].

It has ben revealed that Coca-Cola Israel sponsers training programs for its workers on subjects including the Israeli-Arab conflict. The course content is created by a company funded by the Jewish Agency and the Israeli government.[6]

In February 2002, Coca-Cola teamed up with "Friends of Israel" and National Hillel to cosponser a lecture given by the infamous zionist correspondent Linda Gradstein at the University of Minnesota.[3]

In July 2002, it has been announced that Coca-Cola, in return for millions in incentives from the Israeli government, is to build a new plant on stolen Palestinian land at Kiryat Gat.[7]

In October 2005, Coca-Cola increased its investment in Israel by buying a 51 percent controlling interest in the Tavor Winery.[11]

you see it aint hard to play a small role but with magnificent outcome. you don't even have to pick up sticks or throw stones. just stop spending on the items, simple.

my fav

2009-01-13T12:49:00.002+08:00

this has to be one of my favourite part of KL.
taken by my trusty sony k800i. OMNIA sucks! ahaha.. (bingit shawal).

my little piece of heaven

2009-01-13T11:59:00.005+08:00

chicken mushroom soup from the tin, with japanese fungus (don't ask me which) and served with hot from the pan (preheated on the pan) baguette.

baby baby baby,
when all your love is gone,
who will save me..

spent half hour in the pool last night and i was already hungry. got home made some soup and we ate together. what a piece of heaven it was.

i was trying to cut down on coffee, but who was i kidding? i needed my coffee fix. period!

a little piece of my adventure

2009-01-13T10:56:00.007+08:00

the world will never change

2009-01-12T20:38:00.003+08:00

Obama said : “If somebody was sending rockets into my house where my two daughters sleep at night, I'm going to do everything in my power to stop that. I would expect Israelis to do the same thing.”

pakcik obama is no different than the atok bush. both of em solid american, with american dreams and american thoughts on how the world should be; through their eyes.

Pakcik Obama with Aunty Gloria will continue to subjegate the MORO people of Mindanao to more pain and suffering all under the guise of counter terrorism. who is the real terror maker here?

perhaps if Pakcik Obama would read up the history of MORO struggles then perhaps he could understand why people are taking arms against the Phillipines Government. but then again, he's american, why would he care?

perhaps all american presidents are puppets of a greater power. those that controlled him like a joystick; to go left or to go right but go nonetheless without control.

is the NEW WORLD ORDER theory true?

are the Americans going to war for the sake of POWER?

to control the oil wealth in IRAQ?

to control the gas pipelines and minerals of Afghanistan?

to stationed their armies in the south east asian region via mindanao for easier control of the region against the might of the china?

weary of being gloomy

2009-01-12T14:49:00.004+08:00

the world needs a little happiness.

trying to eat less, but by the time its 4pm was already hypo.

took some milo and biskits and one piece of choc biskits.

tonight, swimming session.

haha

i hope.

working like a donkey

2009-01-08T14:23:00.003+08:00

[logo of the 5S project my department is undertaking to increase the performance of the staff, click on link to find what its all about]

working on several projects all of which making my life quite miserable due to the fact that i 'accidentally' reformated my D: drive. oh joy! now i've to redo a major part of the work that i've been working on for some months.

like a donkey i work,
for the measly carrots,
that taste so sweet for a while,
but always wanting more.

increasingly irritated with the Malaysian population as a whole, for their disregard of medication errors that might occur when one dispense medication without consultation.

there are increasing number of retail pharmacy without pharmacists (the body) attending to customers who require medications some of which can only be obtained by a prescription.

do they know the risk that they take every time they dispense medication over the counter?

the risk of inappropriate dosage and misinformation that might occur?

did they know that sore throats can't be cured by antibiotics?

those are just a few problems that i faced during my stint as a locum pharmacist. its a tough job educating the public on the issue of taking their medications correctly.

GOAL for 2009:
educating the public on the dangers of inappropriate medications.

aku yg berkorban..

2008-12-08T09:59:00.003+08:00

Raya Haji is all about sacrificing yourself to the greater good.

what have you sacrifice lately?

[raya is the usual lah, nasi impit, kuah kacan, serunding, lemang and rendang ayam & daging made by granmere. then enjoying a nice cup of tea at the anjung with my laptop while listening to rhythm and gamelan group performed by adibah noor.]

to yoga or not to yoga that is the question..

2008-12-05T11:09:00.003+08:00

to yoga or not, would largely depends on what you're getting at. this is my point of view.

yoga by basic understand of my own limited brain power is to 'meditate' and what i mean by meditating is to find 'inner peace', to 'centre' yourself in this big busy world. recent statement by the fatwa council has caused a little uproar yet again from our highly 'allergic-to-fatwas' population of muslims and non muslim alike and of course Sisters in Islam has to butt in with their own little views (i just thot they like to feel important).

perhaps uttering the calming words of Subhanallah Walhamdulillah Walaillahailallah would make Yoga suitable for the human spirit instead of chanting 'im a tree, feel the earth with my hairy dry toes with warts'.

its all about finding a sense of calm and a sense of inner quite from the turbulance busy life of the city. its madness out there, there's a million kind of pollution; smoke, noise, rubbish etc. and malaysians do need the time to chill in a weird pose very similar to monkeys shitting on the tree tops.

im not belittling yoga nor am i disregarding the clerical views on yoga, but there comes a time when they need to be one about it. if iran is practising syariah law (fully) and yoga is the main mode of healthy lifestyle for the population, why can't we?

it'll be no different that sitting cross legged on the floor and getting blood circulation cut off from your toes than standing in a tree pose and chanting Allah is most great. but do make sure you wear appropriate attire, none of those clothes that makes your bulge hanging out by the sides. i don't care what you think, its UGG GEE LEE..

sekian terima kasih.

does it work?

2008-12-04T19:34:00.000+08:00

Methadone

2008-12-04T18:34:00.000+08:00

The program has highlighted a very important matter; METHADONE MIXED WITH OTHER PYSCHOTROPICS AND DANGEROUS DRUGS CAN BE FATAL. Main mode of action is probably respiratory depression, since the Ron was put on methadone and valium at the same time. It is in the MALAYSIAN POLICY for Methadone Maintenance Therapy that clients registered must NOT take any other illegal substance or legal substance unless prescribed by the physician.
As with the same here in Malaysia, there are many private clinics who dispense methadone for drug addiction treatment and yet by various witness accounts (patients registered at my hospital) these clinicians hardly sees the patient themselves for proper and thorough assessment.
Plus it has come to my attention that methadone dispensed sometimes includes benzodiazepine (sleeping pills) in it, Increasing the chances of patients getting methadone toxicity.
I propose that all private clinics purchasing methadone shall be put under surveillance, unless those that have been registered for the HARM REDUCTION PROGRAM under the MINISTRY OF HEALTH to curb the growing numbers of unlawful dispensing of methadone. GP’s are milking money of drug addicts and we need to stop them!
Issues:
1) Clients that are employed but just entered the program, do we wait till the 6month period before giving out take away doses?
2) Clients who are unemployed and have financial issues leads to transportation problems, how do we ensure clients comes to hospital daily for the first few months?
3) Stigma and prejudice has cause clients to lose their jobs and are finding it hard to find employment. Lack of skill to work due to years of heroin addiction.
4) Insufficient manpower especially in the field of counseling has cause clients to lose out on the important factor of social counseling to rehab them back into society.
5) Family and friends of client chose to distance themselves from the clients, clients have no social support.
Im like sitting here in my cold cold very cold office, the air condition is centralized can’t do anything much about that, just came back from being away and working the night shift back to back and OH MY. Dramas and more dramas here.

Having none of it, stayed in my room all the way, doors shut to keep out the noise.

The land of Thai

2008-12-02T19:12:00.004+08:00

thailand has much to be respected for, my recent visit to the land of Siam (previously knowned before the anti Monarchy movements of the 1980's changed it to Thailand) has made me realized the Thai people need to be exampled after.

In Thailand:

"Under Thai law, an entire party can be disbanded if one executive member is found guilty of electoral fraud. Similar individual cases brought down the other parties.

The court dissolved the parties "to set a political standard and an example," said Court President Chat Chalavorn. "Dishonest political parties undermine Thailand's democratic system." "

Imagine if we were to have those kind of rules here, wouldnt it be nice?

the current political situation is troubling, but in away thousands of tourist stranded in Bangkok is flocking to Malaysia overland to escape the deadlock. the Northern States and the Federal Government should seize this oppurtunity to provide this chance of sudden influx of tourist to make sure that they leave Malaysia with a favourable memory. Bus companies should start to provide an efficient transportation from Bangkok to Kota Bharu / Alor Setar.

All must not be wasted.

The Thai's creativity in their handicraft and art work has imprinted in myself a sense of inspiration and awe that perhaps one day we could be just as good. Malaysia has its own uniqueness but failure by the state and federal government with bad cooperation between the two especially in opposition held states had only made thins worse.

Things could change and it start with us. Those who are fed up with endless bickering of politics.

at last - etta james

2008-11-30T23:58:00.003+08:00

i want to be where you are,
to feel your breath on mine,
the touch of your warm skin under my fingers
until you are mine at last.

another time, like another life time.
it was only this morning that you were here,
the curls of your hair and your smile,
tingle the tenderest part of me.

PEACE

2008-11-30T23:09:00.004+08:00

its been since forever i forgo the suffering and the liberation of palestine. i used to remember the day when i attended the Peace for Palestine conference in 2004, i came back burning with the desire to expose my friends and family to the pain that the people of palestine is suffering from.

we all live in our comfortable home with all the basic necessity in life and tend to close our warped little mind from the outside problems of the world.

the world is big, if not bigger than imagine but our connection is short and quick. there is no excuse to turn a blind eye. their lives is our life.

http://www.inminds.co.uk/boycott-israel.php

International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People.

2008-11-27T12:17:00.003+08:00

taken from Marina Mahathir's Blog.

SAY NOT TO MACDONALDS!

November 29 is the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People. Yesterday at the special gathering to mark the day at the UN, the new President of the General Assembly, a very distinguished gentleman from Nicaragua called Father Miguel D'Escoto said this in two speeches:

STATEMENT OF H.E. FATHER MIGUEL D'ESCOTO

BROCKMANN,

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED NATIONS

GENERAL ASSEMBLY,

ON THE INTERNATIONAL DAY

OF SOLIDARITY WITH THE PALESTINAN PEOPLE

UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK

24 NOVEMBER 2008

Mr. Chairman,

Mr. Secretary-General,

Excellencies,

Brothers and Sisters,

1. It is with mixed emotions that I join you today to observe the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People at this event organized by the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Palestinian People. As you know, Solidarity is a concept that is central to my work as the Assembly President. I want to thank the Committee for its dedicated efforts to rally our solidarity with the Palestinian people, pursuing the mandate entrusted to it by the General Assembly.

2. Today we recall that, 61 years ago this month, the General Assembly adopted the historic resolution 181, calling for the creation of a Jewish State and an Arab State. The State of Israel, founded a year later in 1948, now celebrates 60 years of its existence. Shamefully, there is still no Palestinian State to celebrate.

3. As I stated in my first address to the General Assembly last September, I believe that the failure to create a Palestinian State as promised is the single greatest failure in the history of the United Nations. It has been 60 years since some 800,000 Palestinians were driven out of their homes and property, becoming refugees and an uprooted and marginalized people.

4. We cannot avoid the bitter irony that next month we mark the 60th anniversary of the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which enshrines the right to self- determination of these very same people. We are witness to decades of the terrible conditions endured throughout the Occupied Palestinian Territory, yet the promise – the right -- of the Palestinian people to a homeland remains as elusive as ever.

5. As I speak here today, almost 1.5 millions Palestinians are enduring an unprecedented

blockade of the Gaza Strip. All border crossings into Gaza are closed, blocking even the delivery of emergency humanitarian relief supplied by the United Nations. Lack of fuel is plunging the population into darkness and cold; basic medicines are running out; malnutrition is chronic and peoples' coping mechanisms are being exhausted.

6. In solidarity, I urge the international community to raise its voice against this collective punishment of the people of Gaza. We must call for an end to this massive abuse of human rights. I call on Israel, the occupying Power, to allow humanitarian and other supplies to enter the Gaza Strip without delay.

7. The situation in the West Bank is often overshadowed by the humanitarian crisis facing Gaza. We cannot overlook, however, the existence of over 600 checkpoints and other obstacles to freedom of movement within the West Bank. We must denounce the resumption of house demolitions during the cold months and the unabated settlement expansion that is still being officially authorized. The unprecedented rise in violent attacks by settlers against the Palestinian population must also end. Although different, what is being done against the Palestinian people seems to me to be a version of the hideous policy of apartheid.

8. This untenable situation highlights the urgent need for the resumption of a genuine peace process that can yield tangible results in the foreseeable future. So far the endless

negotiations between two very unequal partners have not borne fruit. What we need is a renewed sense of solidarity to inspire political will, courage and a broader perspective of the conflict. This should include the revival of the Arab Peace Initiative of 2002.

9. The international community should spare no effort in assisting both Israelis and Palestinians to reach a solution that will fulfill the goal of two States, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace and security. The United Nations has an ongoing responsibility to resolve the question of Palestine in all its aspects and in accordance with international law. Let us be sure that this not become a permanent responsibility.

10. The enmity between our Palestinian and Israeli brothers and sisters is a bitter and self-perpetuating tragedy. We must find new ways to defuse this enmity, to enable both peoples to reassert their historic bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood. I urge the international community to defuse the political deadlock that cynically perpetuates this hatred, isolation and abuse. Our solidarity must prompt concrete action to realize those elusive rights that most of us can take for granted.

Thank you.

**************************************

then in the afternoon...

STATEMENT OF H.E. FATHER MIGUEL D'ESCOTO BROCKMANN,

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY,

AT THE 57th PLENARY MEETING ON AGENDA ITEM 16,

THE QUESTION OF PALESTINE

UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK

24 NOVEMBER 2008

Excellencies, Brothers and Sisters,

1. I am pleased to open this plenary session in which we take up the Question of Palestine. This morning, with heavy heart, we observed the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People. I joined the Chairman of the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Palestinian People, H.E. Ambassador Paul Badji, and Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon to voice our ongoing concern for the terrible situation in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank and express our solidarity with this long-suffering People.

2. We heard the comprehensive report of the Chairman on the current situation of Palestinians living under occupation. As well, the Secretary- General summarized the complex initiatives that are being undertaken by the international community to move forward peace talks and the establishment of the Palestinian state.

3. I urged the international community to raise its voice against the collective punishment of the people of Gaza, a policy which we cannot tolerate. We demand an end to this massive abuse of human rights and call on Israel, the occupying Power, to allow humanitarian and other supplies to enter the Gaza Strip without delay.

4. I spoke this morning about apartheid and how Israeli policies in the Occupied Palestinian Territories appear so similar to the apartheid of an earlier era, a continent away.

5. I believe it is very important that we in the United Nations use this term. We must not be afraid to call something what it is. It is the United Nations, after all, that passed the International Convention against the Crime of Apartheid, making clear to all the world that such practices of official discrimination must be outlawed wherever they occur.

6. We heard today from a representative of South African civil society. We know that all around the world, civil society organizations are working to defend Palestinian rights, and are trying to protect the Palestinian population that we, the United Nations, are failing to protect.

7. More than twenty years ago we in the United Nations took the lead from civil society when we agreed that sanctions were required to provide a nonviolent means of pressuring South Africa to end its violations.

8. Today, perhaps we in the United Nations should consider following the lead of a new generation of civil society, who are calling for a similar non-violent campaign of boycott, divestment and sanctions to pressure Israel to end its violations.

9. I have attended a great many meetings on the rights of the Palestinian People. I am amazed at how people continue to insist on patience while our Brothers and Sisters are being crucified.

10. Patience is a virtue in which I believe. But there is nothing virtuous about being patient with the suffering of others.

11. We must endeavour, with all our heart, to put an end to the suffering of the Palestinian People.

12. I have great love for the Jewish People and this has been true all my life. I have never hesitated to condemn the crimes of the holocaust or any of the many abuses committed against our Jewish Brothers and Sisters.

13. However, their suffering does not give anyone the right to abuse others, especially those who historically have such deep and exemplary relations with the Jewish People.

14. Having said this, I would like to remind our Israeli Brothers and Sisters that even though they have the protective shield of the United States in the Security Council, no amount of arm twisting and intimidation will change the Security Council resolution 181, adopted 61 years ago, calling for the creation of two states.

15. Shamefully, there is no Palestinian state to celebrate today and the prospects are as distant as ever. All explanations notwithstanding, this central fact makes a mockery of the United Nations and gravely hurt its image and prestige. How can we continue like this?

16. I call upon our dear Brothers and Sisters at the decision-making level in our Host Country to end the policy that only retards justice in the Middle East.

17. The international community should spare no effort in assisting both Israelis and Palestinians to reach a solution that will fulfill the goal of two States, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace and security. The United Nations has an ongoing responsibility to resolve the question of Palestine in all its aspects and in accordance with international law. Let us be sure that this not become a permanent responsibility.

18. The enmity between our Palestinian and Israeli brothers and sisters is a bitter and self-perpetuating tragedy. We must find new ways to defuse this enmity, to enable both peoples to reassert their historic bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood.

19. I urge the international community to defuse the political deadlock that cynically perpetuates this hatred, isolation and abuse. Our solidarity must prompt concrete action to realize those elusive rights that most of us can take for granted.

Thank you.

what the heck..

2008-11-05T22:37:00.003+08:00

im tired but by desperation ive to do what any man would do. slaving away for that little bit of comfort.

ive been up since 7 am awake still now at 10.30pm, another 8 hours to go before the clock strikes 7am.

my mind is bogged down, in time of distress the only thing i can utter is God's sweet names. it brought some calm inside a little at times. its fucking tumultuous right now, its like Katrina II on the rampage.

my kumbang taik gotten sick today, had to send it to service and cost me a bomb. RM500 just on him (or her depending who asks), though it does feel better after the service. but the annoying sound still there. gonna see the mechanics again tomorrow after applying for passport at subang airport (another bomb, im so broke)..

at the office, things are getting dramatic (again!). logger heads with the psychiatrist whether pharmacists should be blame if patient complains of insufficient dose due to the fact that we are incompetent to assess patients having withdrawals. DUH. it takes a freaking highly skilled experience person to assess patients. God Almighty, im almost to the point of banging my head to the wall. the MO Psychiatrist getting a wee bit excited and the Clinical Pharmacist just have to say the last word. i do hope it doesnt get out of hand.

officially high on coffee, had a cup this morning, another in the afternoon and now one more. the feeling is so senseless. a buzz without the pain, and the hallucination. i wonder at my friends who use drugs for fun. how in the world can drugs be fun? ah well to that question one gotta ask Jimmy Najmi who is a highly skilled vaginal expert with vast experience of experimenting substance for fun! freaky aint it? another child wannabe specialist requested methadone from to 'clean' himself. i gave him an earful after that.

gotta get away from all of this, Makassar here i come!!

2008-11-04T13:55:00.001+08:00

kinda depressed, ticket sales are not that encouraging. sort of hard trying to get friends to support this events.

anyone interested?

where does it all begin?

2008-10-30T07:52:00.003+08:00

so i am here,
in this house.
the walls so quiet,
it speaks to me.

i am listening,
to the nothingness,
that rebounds from all sides,
until i passed out.

......................

i started an adventure, going out on my own and got myself a new cave. the cave so comfy that i thought i have found my own little heaven. yet heaven is not what quite it seems.

dwelling inside the cave is a queen, so absorbed in her own world that she hardly notices me around. the queen is a little icey at the moment, her heart wrenched and her mind boggles. she yearns for that love from a man who seem so distant and yet she sees him most of the time.

my adventure has started to be a little challenging, on my intuition to discover the whole world i left my nest hoping that someday ill be able to make someone out of me.

i am contemplating on finding a new cave, for this cave seems rather cold lately. should i stay and weather this out of should i leave to find another? it would be a life learnt lesson to stay, learning comes with a price. it eats away the insides of me a little bit. gnawing and chewing and spitting it out again.

i must find a way to unlock the heart of this queen if want to survive the world beyond.

..........................................

ok definately rambling now. too much food does goes to my head. too much pau. too much teppanyaki. just too much.

the night before part deux

2008-10-14T09:41:00.004+08:00

Alone.

That’s how I feel.

How I wished I had friends who would advised me for my wrecklessness.

She had 6 of them to protect her.

Me?

I protected myself long time ago.

Dear lord, never shall in my life anyone hurt me. I am me, your servant. Only your smite shall break me apart. They can all go to hell; Each and every one of them for their false righteousness.

It was raining; the bruises on my face hid my contempt for me. My wrong doings my sudden fall from grace hit back hard in memory.

What am I?

“Ko syaitan bertopengkan manusia.” that was 6 years ago; Mad uttered it to my face. The look in his eyes, its piercing gaze slightly watered. Face to face with a man so angry that if he had a parang in his hands, he would have cleaved me in two there and then. A befitting death indeed it could have been.

Ah.

Itu lah aku. Biarlah.

Since then things happen in life its because it was meant to. I’ve never complained about it. I scream and I shout in silence on my own but that’s it. Life is about living for the moment not wasting crying over the past and worry about the future.

She.

It was fate that brought us together. In all its weirdness, fate made us almost together. But me being me, being overly cautious and overly sick of the past couldn’t go any further. One thing I know about me is that I learn.

“Babi ko, Ko buat apa kat adik hah? ko memang sial.” Vic was screaming his head off, the sms’s blaring in my face. “kalau ko tahu dia suka kat kau asal ko tak blah je?, ko nak apa hah? Money?!”

Macam mana aku nak jawab? Aku sendiri pon tak tahu apa yang aku buat. We went out, we hang out, we went for movies and we enjoyed each other’s company. I’d wished she didn’t love me. It would have been much easier. She knew I couldn’t, she knew I never said the words she told me. So what did I do wrong?

Adri; the man in the mask, the devil in disguise. Trying to live up to the title is not exactly hard work. It comes natural to me like breathing. First glance no one can tell but look long enough, you’ll see the real me. All horny and full of thorns; a single prick can last hurt you for days.

It started to be out place when she handed a bag. A perfume bottle, books and cake. She read me so well. Was I that transparent? I resisted, I was embarrassed that I was given something. It felt awkward. She insisted. I knew I could have resisted harder, but in life; one never says no to the good things. How often good things do come in my life?

Apa apa lah.

the night before part deux

2008-10-14T09:41:00.000+08:00

Alone.

That’s how I feel.

How I wished I had friends who would advised me for my wrecklessness.

She had 6 of them to protect her.

Me?

I protected myself long time ago.

Dear lord, never shall in my life anyone hurt me. I am me, your servant. Only your smite shall break me apart. They can all go to hell; Each and every one of them for their false righteousness.

It was raining; the bruises on my face hid my contempt for me. My wrong doings my sudden fall from grace hit back hard in memory.

What am I?

“Ko syaitan bertopengkan manusia.”

Ah.

Itu lah aku. Biarlah.

Since then things happen in life its because it was meant to. I’ve never complained about it. I scream and I shout in silence on my own but that’s it. Life is about living for the moment not wasting crying over the past and worry about the future.

She.

It was fate that brought us together. In all its weirdness, fate made us almost together. But me being me, being overly cautious and overly sick of the past couldn’t go any further. One thing I know about me is that I learn.

“Babi ko, Ko buat apa kat adik hah? ko memang sial.”

Macam mana aku nak jawab? Aku sendiri pon tak tahu apa yang aku buat. We went out, we hang out, we went for movies and we enjoyed each other’s company. I’d wished she didn’t love me. It would have been much easier. She knew I couldn’t, she knew I never said the words she told me. So what did I do wrong?

Adri; the men in the mask, the devil in disguise.

It started to be out place when she handed a bag. A perfume bottle, books and cake. She read me so well. Was I that transparent? I resisted, I was embarrassed that I was given something. It felt awkward. She insisted. I knew I could have resisted harder, but in life; one never says no to the good things. How often good things do come in my life?

Apa apa lah.

the night before

2008-10-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

“Dah la adik, aku tak larat dah. If being friends with you mean I’ve to put up with you friends then forget it. I don’t think I can handle it. I’ve enough problems as it is alright. Stop calling me and I don’t want see you ok”

“Bro, apa nih? I don’t get it. Please tell me”

“Your friends have been using your phone and sending me sms’s. saying a lot of things and yet don’t want my explanations. I’m so tired already ok?”

My head spinning, I wanted to lie down and just forget about it.

Why la do I have to go through these things in life? I wondered how many times I have asked that stupid question.

She.

It was weird the way that we met, or knew each other. It was based on lies and apologies, but along the way since we gotten to know each other she has tried to make it up.

She’s brilliant, she’s smart and best of all she’s anyone dream date but except for me.

Certain things are just not for me, however perfect they may be.

“im sorry.”

“nah, its ok I supposed. They were just doing it to protect you. You’re their adik. Its naturally”

“ill try to talk to him again alright, I mean we talked in the morning about this. I thought he’d understand, I thought they all understood”

“well .. ntah lah. Just talk to him nicely, I don’t want to be the reason that breaks family. He meant well ok and you don’t have to apologize. I’m OK now, just had too many things going on at one time.”

“ok, ill have a chat with him later.”

……………………………………

“When you see that bitch later on, tell her ‘FUCK YOU’ from me alright?”

“hohohohoho … OK”

“who the fuck she think she is? Bad enough she borrowed money from and didn’t even pay back, she had the bloody galls to say that I’ve slept with her? Wait till I see her, ill pound her bloody face in”

……………………………………