obsession of the obsessed.

obssession is a word i rarely use, cause frankly i'm never much obsessed about anything. i might like somethings but obsessed? no, honestly i don't have much obsession. my passion lays in self photography. pushing the limits of my skills as an ametur photographer cum model. ha ha. sounds freaky but thats the way it is. i wish there was 2 of me, one to model and another to take shots. i know what i want, and sometimes i can see it in my head even before the shot is taken.

although i have a new passion now, that is VOLLEYBALL. loved it since i was a kid watching Maero Attack. use to run home after school not wanting to miss it.

brought a sense of a childhood memories back. i've never been a sportsman before, it was never in my genes from what i can tell. it was always my younger brother. hes the sporty child in the family. football freak, he does me head off when we were kids back then cos there's only one telly and he'll be wanting to watch the football match. me and my older sister had to fight him for the remote. it was horrible. ha ha. we would drag him by the feet out of the room. then lock him out.. he he he. anyways, only when i got here to this QUIET old town (its established since 1920's i think) i started to fill my time with healthy, sweaty sports like badminton and volleyball. you get the feel-good hormones spiking your blood stream, after every game. makes me feel like im on top of the world. the best part of all is being able to block and sometimes spike considering that i've only been playing for a month. the ball cost a bomb though a really good one MV2001 i think the specs is about RM99. the better ones cost more than that. bought 2 balls, the first one was a cheaper version. REGRETTED whole heartedly cos its hard as rocks and if you try playing with it you'll get ruptured veins and petechia (er.. lebam in english apa??). BRUISES.. demn it. seems my bilingual brain is having a holiday, tomorows a public holiday! woohoooo.. another day to work on my never ending research. urgh!!..
lately couple of my friends admitted that they feel lonely, the integral part of being in created in two's. its natural to feel wanted and to be wanted. its natural to desire connections and security in all forms possible. i suppose i am used to that feeling, having to grow up with it its like a part of me that i cannot discard. i look at it with amusement and perhaps comfort knowing something familiar is there with me. we all grow up and we all move on, my friend moved on from where we all began and sometimes its enevitable that they too seem to have move on from me. its alright, its ok. its part of the journey. lonely cannot be cured nor can it be replaced. we just have to accept it and in the process of it perhaps i'll learn the way of appreciating being wanted. these emotions are here for a reason. like coconuts have endless uses, perhaps this feeling has its. we might not know it but hey just try to get along with it. for my lonely friends, take it as it is and grow from it...