aku yg berkorban..

Raya Haji is all about sacrificing yourself to the greater good.

what have you sacrifice lately?

[raya is the usual lah, nasi impit, kuah kacan, serunding, lemang and rendang ayam & daging made by granmere. then enjoying a nice cup of tea at the anjung with my laptop while listening to rhythm and gamelan group performed by adibah noor.]

to yoga or not to yoga that is the question..

to yoga or not, would largely depends on what you're getting at. this is my point of view.

yoga by basic understand of my own limited brain power is to 'meditate' and what i mean by meditating is to find 'inner peace', to 'centre' yourself in this big busy world. recent statement by the fatwa council has caused a little uproar yet again from our highly 'allergic-to-fatwas' population of muslims and non muslim alike and of course Sisters in Islam has to butt in with their own little views (i just thot they like to feel important).

perhaps uttering the calming words of Subhanallah Walhamdulillah Walaillahailallah would make Yoga suitable for the human spirit instead of chanting 'im a tree, feel the earth with my hairy dry toes with warts'.

its all about finding a sense of calm and a sense of inner quite from the turbulance busy life of the city. its madness out there, there's a million kind of pollution; smoke, noise, rubbish etc. and malaysians do need the time to chill in a weird pose very similar to monkeys shitting on the tree tops.

im not belittling yoga nor am i disregarding the clerical views on yoga, but there comes a time when they need to be one about it. if iran is practising syariah law (fully) and yoga is the main mode of healthy lifestyle for the population, why can't we?

it'll be no different that sitting cross legged on the floor and getting blood circulation cut off from your toes than standing in a tree pose and chanting Allah is most great. but do make sure you wear appropriate attire, none of those clothes that makes your bulge hanging out by the sides. i don't care what you think, its UGG GEE LEE..

sekian terima kasih.

does it work?


The program has highlighted a very important matter; METHADONE MIXED WITH OTHER PYSCHOTROPICS AND DANGEROUS DRUGS CAN BE FATAL. Main mode of action is probably respiratory depression, since the Ron was put on methadone and valium at the same time. It is in the MALAYSIAN POLICY for Methadone Maintenance Therapy that clients registered must NOT take any other illegal substance or legal substance unless prescribed by the physician.
As with the same here in Malaysia, there are many private clinics who dispense methadone for drug addiction treatment and yet by various witness accounts (patients registered at my hospital) these clinicians hardly sees the patient themselves for proper and thorough assessment.
Plus it has come to my attention that methadone dispensed sometimes includes benzodiazepine (sleeping pills) in it, Increasing the chances of patients getting methadone toxicity.
I propose that all private clinics purchasing methadone shall be put under surveillance, unless those that have been registered for the HARM REDUCTION PROGRAM under the MINISTRY OF HEALTH to curb the growing numbers of unlawful dispensing of methadone. GP’s are milking money of drug addicts and we need to stop them!
1) Clients that are employed but just entered the program, do we wait till the 6month period before giving out take away doses?
2) Clients who are unemployed and have financial issues leads to transportation problems, how do we ensure clients comes to hospital daily for the first few months?
3) Stigma and prejudice has cause clients to lose their jobs and are finding it hard to find employment. Lack of skill to work due to years of heroin addiction.
4) Insufficient manpower especially in the field of counseling has cause clients to lose out on the important factor of social counseling to rehab them back into society.
5) Family and friends of client chose to distance themselves from the clients, clients have no social support.
Im like sitting here in my cold cold very cold office, the air condition is centralized can’t do anything much about that, just came back from being away and working the night shift back to back and OH MY. Dramas and more dramas here.

Having none of it, stayed in my room all the way, doors shut to keep out the noise.

The land of Thai

thailand has much to be respected for, my recent visit to the land of Siam (previously knowned before the anti Monarchy movements of the 1980's changed it to Thailand) has made me realized the Thai people need to be exampled after.

In Thailand:

"Under Thai law, an entire party can be disbanded if one executive member is found guilty of electoral fraud. Similar individual cases brought down the other parties.

The court dissolved the parties "to set a political standard and an example," said Court President Chat Chalavorn. "Dishonest political parties undermine Thailand's democratic system." "

Imagine if we were to have those kind of rules here, wouldnt it be nice?

the current political situation is troubling, but in away thousands of tourist stranded in Bangkok is flocking to Malaysia overland to escape the deadlock. the Northern States and the Federal Government should seize this oppurtunity to provide this chance of sudden influx of tourist to make sure that they leave Malaysia with a favourable memory. Bus companies should start to provide an efficient transportation from Bangkok to Kota Bharu / Alor Setar.

All must not be wasted.

The Thai's creativity in their handicraft and art work has imprinted in myself a sense of inspiration and awe that perhaps one day we could be just as good. Malaysia has its own uniqueness but failure by the state and federal government with bad cooperation between the two especially in opposition held states had only made thins worse.

Things could change and it start with us. Those who are fed up with endless bickering of politics.

at last - etta james

i want to be where you are,
to feel your breath on mine,
the touch of your warm skin under my fingers
until you are mine at last.

another time, like another life time.
it was only this morning that you were here,
the curls of your hair and your smile,
tingle the tenderest part of me.


its been since forever i forgo the suffering and the liberation of palestine. i used to remember the day when i attended the Peace for Palestine conference in 2004, i came back burning with the desire to expose my friends and family to the pain that the people of palestine is suffering from.

we all live in our comfortable home with all the basic necessity in life and tend to close our warped little mind from the outside problems of the world.

the world is big, if not bigger than imagine but our connection is short and quick. there is no excuse to turn a blind eye. their lives is our life.


International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People.

taken from Marina Mahathir's Blog.


November 29 is the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People. Yesterday at the special gathering to mark the day at the UN, the new President of the General Assembly, a very distinguished gentleman from Nicaragua called Father Miguel D'Escoto said this in two speeches:








24 NOVEMBER 2008

Mr. Chairman,

Mr. Secretary-General,


Brothers and Sisters,

1. It is with mixed emotions that I join you today to observe the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People at this event organized by the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Palestinian People. As you know, Solidarity is a concept that is central to my work as the Assembly President. I want to thank the Committee for its dedicated efforts to rally our solidarity with the Palestinian people, pursuing the mandate entrusted to it by the General Assembly.

2. Today we recall that, 61 years ago this month, the General Assembly adopted the historic resolution 181, calling for the creation of a Jewish State and an Arab State. The State of Israel, founded a year later in 1948, now celebrates 60 years of its existence. Shamefully, there is still no Palestinian State to celebrate.

3. As I stated in my first address to the General Assembly last September, I believe that the failure to create a Palestinian State as promised is the single greatest failure in the history of the United Nations. It has been 60 years since some 800,000 Palestinians were driven out of their homes and property, becoming refugees and an uprooted and marginalized people.

4. We cannot avoid the bitter irony that next month we mark the 60th anniversary of the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which enshrines the right to self- determination of these very same people. We are witness to decades of the terrible conditions endured throughout the Occupied Palestinian Territory, yet the promise – the right -- of the Palestinian people to a homeland remains as elusive as ever.

5. As I speak here today, almost 1.5 millions Palestinians are enduring an unprecedented

blockade of the Gaza Strip. All border crossings into Gaza are closed, blocking even the delivery of emergency humanitarian relief supplied by the United Nations. Lack of fuel is plunging the population into darkness and cold; basic medicines are running out; malnutrition is chronic and peoples' coping mechanisms are being exhausted.

6. In solidarity, I urge the international community to raise its voice against this collective punishment of the people of Gaza. We must call for an end to this massive abuse of human rights. I call on Israel, the occupying Power, to allow humanitarian and other supplies to enter the Gaza Strip without delay.

7. The situation in the West Bank is often overshadowed by the humanitarian crisis facing Gaza. We cannot overlook, however, the existence of over 600 checkpoints and other obstacles to freedom of movement within the West Bank. We must denounce the resumption of house demolitions during the cold months and the unabated settlement expansion that is still being officially authorized. The unprecedented rise in violent attacks by settlers against the Palestinian population must also end. Although different, what is being done against the Palestinian people seems to me to be a version of the hideous policy of apartheid.

8. This untenable situation highlights the urgent need for the resumption of a genuine peace process that can yield tangible results in the foreseeable future. So far the endless

negotiations between two very unequal partners have not borne fruit. What we need is a renewed sense of solidarity to inspire political will, courage and a broader perspective of the conflict. This should include the revival of the Arab Peace Initiative of 2002.

9. The international community should spare no effort in assisting both Israelis and Palestinians to reach a solution that will fulfill the goal of two States, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace and security. The United Nations has an ongoing responsibility to resolve the question of Palestine in all its aspects and in accordance with international law. Let us be sure that this not become a permanent responsibility.

10. The enmity between our Palestinian and Israeli brothers and sisters is a bitter and self-perpetuating tragedy. We must find new ways to defuse this enmity, to enable both peoples to reassert their historic bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood. I urge the international community to defuse the political deadlock that cynically perpetuates this hatred, isolation and abuse. Our solidarity must prompt concrete action to realize those elusive rights that most of us can take for granted.

Thank you.


then in the afternoon...






24 NOVEMBER 2008

Excellencies, Brothers and Sisters,

1. I am pleased to open this plenary session in which we take up the Question of Palestine. This morning, with heavy heart, we observed the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People. I joined the Chairman of the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Palestinian People, H.E. Ambassador Paul Badji, and Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon to voice our ongoing concern for the terrible situation in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank and express our solidarity with this long-suffering People.

2. We heard the comprehensive report of the Chairman on the current situation of Palestinians living under occupation. As well, the Secretary- General summarized the complex initiatives that are being undertaken by the international community to move forward peace talks and the establishment of the Palestinian state.

3. I urged the international community to raise its voice against the collective punishment of the people of Gaza, a policy which we cannot tolerate. We demand an end to this massive abuse of human rights and call on Israel, the occupying Power, to allow humanitarian and other supplies to enter the Gaza Strip without delay.

4. I spoke this morning about apartheid and how Israeli policies in the Occupied Palestinian Territories appear so similar to the apartheid of an earlier era, a continent away.

5. I believe it is very important that we in the United Nations use this term. We must not be afraid to call something what it is. It is the United Nations, after all, that passed the International Convention against the Crime of Apartheid, making clear to all the world that such practices of official discrimination must be outlawed wherever they occur.

6. We heard today from a representative of South African civil society. We know that all around the world, civil society organizations are working to defend Palestinian rights, and are trying to protect the Palestinian population that we, the United Nations, are failing to protect.

7. More than twenty years ago we in the United Nations took the lead from civil society when we agreed that sanctions were required to provide a nonviolent means of pressuring South Africa to end its violations.

8. Today, perhaps we in the United Nations should consider following the lead of a new generation of civil society, who are calling for a similar non-violent campaign of boycott, divestment and sanctions to pressure Israel to end its violations.

9. I have attended a great many meetings on the rights of the Palestinian People. I am amazed at how people continue to insist on patience while our Brothers and Sisters are being crucified.

10. Patience is a virtue in which I believe. But there is nothing virtuous about being patient with the suffering of others.

11. We must endeavour, with all our heart, to put an end to the suffering of the Palestinian People.

12. I have great love for the Jewish People and this has been true all my life. I have never hesitated to condemn the crimes of the holocaust or any of the many abuses committed against our Jewish Brothers and Sisters.

13. However, their suffering does not give anyone the right to abuse others, especially those who historically have such deep and exemplary relations with the Jewish People.

14. Having said this, I would like to remind our Israeli Brothers and Sisters that even though they have the protective shield of the United States in the Security Council, no amount of arm twisting and intimidation will change the Security Council resolution 181, adopted 61 years ago, calling for the creation of two states.

15. Shamefully, there is no Palestinian state to celebrate today and the prospects are as distant as ever. All explanations notwithstanding, this central fact makes a mockery of the United Nations and gravely hurt its image and prestige. How can we continue like this?

16. I call upon our dear Brothers and Sisters at the decision-making level in our Host Country to end the policy that only retards justice in the Middle East.

17. The international community should spare no effort in assisting both Israelis and Palestinians to reach a solution that will fulfill the goal of two States, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace and security. The United Nations has an ongoing responsibility to resolve the question of Palestine in all its aspects and in accordance with international law. Let us be sure that this not become a permanent responsibility.

18. The enmity between our Palestinian and Israeli brothers and sisters is a bitter and self-perpetuating tragedy. We must find new ways to defuse this enmity, to enable both peoples to reassert their historic bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood.

19. I urge the international community to defuse the political deadlock that cynically perpetuates this hatred, isolation and abuse. Our solidarity must prompt concrete action to realize those elusive rights that most of us can take for granted.

Thank you.

what the heck..

im tired but by desperation ive to do what any man would do. slaving away for that little bit of comfort.

ive been up since 7 am awake still now at 10.30pm, another 8 hours to go before the clock strikes 7am.

my mind is bogged down, in time of distress the only thing i can utter is God's sweet names. it brought some calm inside a little at times. its fucking tumultuous right now, its like Katrina II on the rampage.

my kumbang taik gotten sick today, had to send it to service and cost me a bomb. RM500 just on him (or her depending who asks), though it does feel better after the service. but the annoying sound still there. gonna see the mechanics again tomorrow after applying for passport at subang airport (another bomb, im so broke)..

at the office, things are getting dramatic (again!). logger heads with the psychiatrist whether pharmacists should be blame if patient complains of insufficient dose due to the fact that we are incompetent to assess patients having withdrawals. DUH. it takes a freaking highly skilled experience person to assess patients. God Almighty, im almost to the point of banging my head to the wall. the MO Psychiatrist getting a wee bit excited and the Clinical Pharmacist just have to say the last word. i do hope it doesnt get out of hand.

officially high on coffee, had a cup this morning, another in the afternoon and now one more. the feeling is so senseless. a buzz without the pain, and the hallucination. i wonder at my friends who use drugs for fun. how in the world can drugs be fun? ah well to that question one gotta ask Jimmy Najmi who is a highly skilled vaginal expert with vast experience of experimenting substance for fun! freaky aint it? another child wannabe specialist requested methadone from to 'clean' himself. i gave him an earful after that.

gotta get away from all of this, Makassar here i come!!

kinda depressed, ticket sales are not that encouraging. sort of hard trying to get friends to support this events.

anyone interested?

where does it all begin?

so i am here,
in this house.
the walls so quiet,
it speaks to me.

i am listening,
to the nothingness,
that rebounds from all sides,
until i passed out.


i started an adventure, going out on my own and got myself a new cave. the cave so comfy that i thought i have found my own little heaven. yet heaven is not what quite it seems.

dwelling inside the cave is a queen, so absorbed in her own world that she hardly notices me around. the queen is a little icey at the moment, her heart wrenched and her mind boggles. she yearns for that love from a man who seem so distant and yet she sees him most of the time.

my adventure has started to be a little challenging, on my intuition to discover the whole world i left my nest hoping that someday ill be able to make someone out of me.

i am contemplating on finding a new cave, for this cave seems rather cold lately. should i stay and weather this out of should i leave to find another? it would be a life learnt lesson to stay, learning comes with a price. it eats away the insides of me a little bit. gnawing and chewing and spitting it out again.

i must find a way to unlock the heart of this queen if want to survive the world beyond.


ok definately rambling now. too much food does goes to my head. too much pau. too much teppanyaki. just too much.

the night before part deux


That’s how I feel.

How I wished I had friends who would advised me for my wrecklessness.

She had 6 of them to protect her.


I protected myself long time ago.

Dear lord, never shall in my life anyone hurt me. I am me, your servant. Only your smite shall break me apart. They can all go to hell; Each and every one of them for their false righteousness.

It was raining; the bruises on my face hid my contempt for me. My wrong doings my sudden fall from grace hit back hard in memory.

What am I?

“Ko syaitan bertopengkan manusia.” that was 6 years ago; Mad uttered it to my face. The look in his eyes, its piercing gaze slightly watered. Face to face with a man so angry that if he had a parang in his hands, he would have cleaved me in two there and then. A befitting death indeed it could have been.


Itu lah aku. Biarlah.

Since then things happen in life its because it was meant to. I’ve never complained about it. I scream and I shout in silence on my own but that’s it. Life is about living for the moment not wasting crying over the past and worry about the future.


It was fate that brought us together. In all its weirdness, fate made us almost together. But me being me, being overly cautious and overly sick of the past couldn’t go any further. One thing I know about me is that I learn.

“Babi ko, Ko buat apa kat adik hah? ko memang sial.” Vic was screaming his head off, the sms’s blaring in my face. “kalau ko tahu dia suka kat kau asal ko tak blah je?, ko nak apa hah? Money?!”

Macam mana aku nak jawab? Aku sendiri pon tak tahu apa yang aku buat. We went out, we hang out, we went for movies and we enjoyed each other’s company. I’d wished she didn’t love me. It would have been much easier. She knew I couldn’t, she knew I never said the words she told me. So what did I do wrong?

Adri; the man in the mask, the devil in disguise. Trying to live up to the title is not exactly hard work. It comes natural to me like breathing. First glance no one can tell but look long enough, you’ll see the real me. All horny and full of thorns; a single prick can last hurt you for days.

It started to be out place when she handed a bag. A perfume bottle, books and cake. She read me so well. Was I that transparent? I resisted, I was embarrassed that I was given something. It felt awkward. She insisted. I knew I could have resisted harder, but in life; one never says no to the good things. How often good things do come in my life?

Apa apa lah.

the night before part deux


That’s how I feel.

How I wished I had friends who would advised me for my wrecklessness.

She had 6 of them to protect her.


I protected myself long time ago.

Dear lord, never shall in my life anyone hurt me. I am me, your servant. Only your smite shall break me apart. They can all go to hell; Each and every one of them for their false righteousness.

It was raining; the bruises on my face hid my contempt for me. My wrong doings my sudden fall from grace hit back hard in memory.

What am I?

“Ko syaitan bertopengkan manusia.”


Itu lah aku. Biarlah.

Since then things happen in life its because it was meant to. I’ve never complained about it. I scream and I shout in silence on my own but that’s it. Life is about living for the moment not wasting crying over the past and worry about the future.


It was fate that brought us together. In all its weirdness, fate made us almost together. But me being me, being overly cautious and overly sick of the past couldn’t go any further. One thing I know about me is that I learn.

“Babi ko, Ko buat apa kat adik hah? ko memang sial.”

Macam mana aku nak jawab? Aku sendiri pon tak tahu apa yang aku buat. We went out, we hang out, we went for movies and we enjoyed each other’s company. I’d wished she didn’t love me. It would have been much easier. She knew I couldn’t, she knew I never said the words she told me. So what did I do wrong?

Adri; the men in the mask, the devil in disguise.

It started to be out place when she handed a bag. A perfume bottle, books and cake. She read me so well. Was I that transparent? I resisted, I was embarrassed that I was given something. It felt awkward. She insisted. I knew I could have resisted harder, but in life; one never says no to the good things. How often good things do come in my life?

Apa apa lah.

the night before

“Dah la adik, aku tak larat dah. If being friends with you mean I’ve to put up with you friends then forget it. I don’t think I can handle it. I’ve enough problems as it is alright. Stop calling me and I don’t want see you ok”

“Bro, apa nih? I don’t get it. Please tell me”

“Your friends have been using your phone and sending me sms’s. saying a lot of things and yet don’t want my explanations. I’m so tired already ok?”

My head spinning, I wanted to lie down and just forget about it.

Why la do I have to go through these things in life? I wondered how many times I have asked that stupid question.


It was weird the way that we met, or knew each other. It was based on lies and apologies, but along the way since we gotten to know each other she has tried to make it up.

She’s brilliant, she’s smart and best of all she’s anyone dream date but except for me.

Certain things are just not for me, however perfect they may be.

“im sorry.”

“nah, its ok I supposed. They were just doing it to protect you. You’re their adik. Its naturally”

“ill try to talk to him again alright, I mean we talked in the morning about this. I thought he’d understand, I thought they all understood”

“well .. ntah lah. Just talk to him nicely, I don’t want to be the reason that breaks family. He meant well ok and you don’t have to apologize. I’m OK now, just had too many things going on at one time.”

“ok, ill have a chat with him later.”


“When you see that bitch later on, tell her ‘FUCK YOU’ from me alright?”

“hohohohoho … OK”

“who the fuck she think she is? Bad enough she borrowed money from and didn’t even pay back, she had the bloody galls to say that I’ve slept with her? Wait till I see her, ill pound her bloody face in”


its not me but myself

It’s time for coffee, music and words.

My 10 minutes.

It doesn’t seem long.

It seems so short, so quick and so sudden.

Can anything last more than 10 minutes with me?

The weather was perfect and the sun was half out; peeking through the clouds. Rain was teasing those who planned to go out for some fun.

I was sitting and looking on no where, day dreaming the “what if’s” in life. I was in my own world, my mind spinning to places I’ve wanted to be. I wished I could teleport. Wouldn’t it be so bloody easy? No bloody 4 hours ride down south.

I wanted to meet badly, the feeling was unbearable and it was jerking me deep inside.

I’m sitting casually sipping my tea with honey and eating my hot scones, topped with my favourite jam; strawberries.

Why is fat so cruel? To test me? To tease me? To lurch me over the edge and to pull me back again once I get too close?

Then came this moment.

Time stopped and eyes met. Shit my heart stopped. Literally.

Even in the drizzling rain, I could see clearly that there is something here. Something between us even in the briefest moments. Both of us frozen in our little space, unmovable and immobile.

I was scared of moving, that it might all end. I wanted it to last a life time. I wanted us to be it.

But neither of us knows each other, after that last escapade I was more than willing to stop falling over. To stop wanting someone so much, I was crazy and I was stupid.

‘So what!’

Enjoy while it last kan? Then after that get over it, move on and look for another. Life’s too short to be messed with one single person.

Was it something the way our interlocked that left no space for anything else? Or the way we accidentally glanced in each others direction that pave way for this fleeting moment? So much was there to tell about the other. The depth of the eyes betrayed a yearning to hold. To grasp another body in a tight embrace, to connect and to climaxed.

The eyes tired of looking, as if wanting more than just his brief exchange of looks.

We made our way towards the back of the shop, in the alley and witnessed by the gray dull sky our intimate moments.

There was no ‘hello’, no ‘greetings’ and no awkward introduction. Just us caught in the moment.

Expressing our needs.

It felt right in the wrong places.

All done and satisfied, our shyness caught up. Though unabashed minutes before we cant even look at each other. It was all mechanical afterwards, a single handshake, a quick exchange of numbers and we went our ways.

I was washing my hands and then I realized the number was written on my palm.

My bus came, found my seat and slept the whole journey towards down south.

Can’t wait to get there.

there i was.

It was a mistake.

I knew it from the very beginning that I was sms-ed, I knew in my guts feeling that it was wrong to be here.

Yet here I am, walking inside carelessly without a moment to think of what would happen afterwards. The things that would swirl in my head that would haunt me and made me the lowest of scum that earth could offer.

We did it before and I was fine, I thought “hey maybe there is some hope that things will change and that perhaps we could be together, somehow..” it was denial in its biggest form.

We chatted, we watched telly and we lepak, the usual.

Part of me wanted to be here and the other part of me screamed “what the fuck are you doing here you moron?”

I don’t know.

I think I do know but like always my never ending hope for something foolish whacks my reasoning out of orbit. I was in love; yes I was. That was the reason why I chose to come even if it meant that ill be banging my head on the wall afterwards and throw my heart to dogs to gnaw.

“fuck it, maybe it’ll be different, people change and so does the mind.” Like some twisted mantra it played around in my stupid heart.

We were in bed next to each other, our hands pressed together. Our breath so near, our heart beat as one and the warmth that emanates from out body added the sparks that were to be blown out of proportion.

We were close.

We were very close.

When our lips touched there was no turning back.

Then morning came and we parted ways.

The week after, the boyfriend was still there.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

That’s life for you.

oh my.

Dear brother,
Do you feel the warmth of my hands as it cracks on your face?
Have you thought things through of what you’re about to do?
Can you stop feeling so less about yourself within the mess?
Is it all about you now?
Dear brother,
Can you feel the hardness of my knuckles on your cheeks?
Can you not wake up from your dreary delusion?
Are you not able to look beyond your small little world?
And stop crying ‘oh my’?
Dear brother,
What have you done, you selfish bastard?
You gave up not just yourself, but you gave up on me.
Would I suffer no more now that you aren’t here?
Would I feel less terrified now that you have left me?
I wish the blood that flows through my cold fingers, Could awaken you from your endless sleep.
To make you see the suffering you have caused by stupid actions.
But alas, your stillness is what you are now.
No more are you to me, but more of the earth you hence came from.
No more shall you a word to me,
No more of a brother to me.

i told myself in the event of my delusion

it seemed forever was it, the last time that we met under the circumstances that both of us we're neither here or there. you were in that place where you could never leave and here i was never could go into it.

what was i thinking back then? hoping perhaps for the impossible maybe? well all men hopes for something in their life, and here i was hoping for yours. such impossible dream meant for fools and i wanted to be a fool, but for what?

to fulfill some destiny that seemed crooked from the start in the first place? to place myself where no man wants?

but there you were, sitting there beneath that tree that we used to lean against listening to the whistling of the winds as it swept the plains beneath us. such pleasure in doing nothing, but to sit and watch as the clouds lumbers over.

your hair, its colour so dense absorbing all the light that strikes and i find myself drawn to the way it falls in between your eyes. a curtain that carelessly hangs hiding in underneath in the eyes of mystery. gazing deep in it only made me lose it, swirling like a mass chocolate pool i drown in the warmth of it all. how comforting it is to lingers myself in your eyes, my cages no more as you search me deep within.

i missed you, as always i have been.

apa nak jadi ini..

huhuh ..

just like in a thriller full of political stunts and drama malaysia has yet again made a name.

politicians just doesn't know when to step down when they fark things up do they. there was an article 'why ours never quit' i've read by Huzir something (from the star, the chap with the half white / black goatee) who wrote about our way of politics why no one seems to accept their own wrong doings as compare to other nations where a little shit goes a long way down the drain. even the PM of israel stepped down amidst allegations of corruption. when someone from NUMA made corruption reports with the now almost useless BPR against our PM, it went down under the carpets. nothing was heard ever again. u see, its a land of magic. only if u hold the wand of power.

power gets to people sometimes. it drills holes so that everything goes in and it comes out again. only in different matter.


in attempt to crush rising popularity of our rising star (somewhat like a supernova) PM has switched position with Uncle N to hold the post of Defence Minister, the Key to power. now will the Army obey if things get ugly or will they like our friends in thailand thinks for itself?

where will our Agong be in all this? will he flex his Equestrian Muscle and kick some butts or what?

and what will PR do in all this sudden moves to curb their grip on the taking over the government? will they moves the pawns like 1998's Reformasi Heyday or will they resort to Bishop and King for the checkmate?

may i point out again that PM has the Knights and Queen in position. '

anything can happen in Boleh Land.

wait and see for the next few weeks.

SAPP has made their moves will the other parties follow suit?

jeng jeng jeng

we shall with all our might..

if froddo and sam can stand up from Sauron, why can't we the people of Malaysia stand up from our own despicable of shame of authority?

how much shall we endure from this inexplicable act of injustice and terrorism (aka ISA) before we finally realized our own stupidity for putting up with it in the first place. there shall be no excuse to uphold such laws of injustice just for the sake of security. what security is the authority trying to uphold if not the fear that strikes men at heart knowing that in any time of their lives can they be detained and holed up in a chicken coup without a flinch of an eye.

this is the time to wake up and stand up.

sauron is no more nor shall we live in such despicable intolerable act of lawlessness in the hands of a few sick men.

let us all fight dying in the hands of uplifting the glory that we once was. feel the buzzing of the air as the clouds clear and the sun slices through bringing out hope and forever freedom.

we will mark out history with a beginning that no one can attest to, with no one can compare like no other.

to my jiran whom will torture me by next year

Ku cuba redakan relung hati
Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi
Terlukis di dalam kenangan
Bebas bermain di hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu
Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi di dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu
Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi di dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan kau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo
Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo
Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo

Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

lyrics nih aku dedicate kan kat kawan ku, rakan sekolah ku, jiran ku utk 13 tahun lamanya yg akan mendirikan rumah tangga tak lama lagi.. tahun depan kot (AMIN) he he.. sekiranya benar then lg benar aku akan pindah jauh-jauh. di mana aku takkan tengok mereka bergembira bersama sewaktu zaman muda ketika ini. ho ho ho ..

stress stress stress..

apa nasib ku ini.

lagu memang tak kene ngan tajuk. lagu mengkisah kena tinggal kekasih tp apa yang aku nak ckp, semoga berkekalan cinta kamu ke akhir hayat. jangan kerana salah paham dan takde toleransi teros nak masam muka dan mengakibatkan katil yang sejuk. jangannnnn..

so far ive met all type of married people, there are those whom regret to have ever married, there are those who wants to marry badly, there are those whom wants to marry but their parents won't allow them so, there are those who married with younger men, there are those who married with older men and there are those who never want to marry.

to marry or not to marry that is the question.

will romeo discard his name to marry julieT?

shall the tempest calms the sea and bring together miranda and ferdinand?

my friends has been dating endlessly for all his years, i hope this is for him as it is for her.

the end.

a love sonnet by the man of quills himself;

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Wah rajin betol JAKIM

Dato' Wan Mohamad Bin Dato' Sheikh Abdul Azi
Pengarah Jakim

Raja Petra Raja Kamaruddin

Jakim, Musim bodies lodge report against Raja Petra PDF Print E-mail

PUTRAJAYA: The Department of Islamic Development (Jakim) and several Muslim bodies lodged a police report here on Friday against Malaysia Today website editor Raja Petra Kamarudin for allegedly insulting the Malays, Muslims and Islam.
Director-general Datuk Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz said the department wanted authorities to take action against the editor, who is already facing charges of criminal defamation.

when a man confessed he had homosexual act which by law is illegal, and he even swore by it why isn't JAKIM doing anything about it? can't they charge the assfooked bugger (pardon the pun) based on his swear or is the swear invalid?

see, JAKIM is very rajin (hardworking) when it comes to being peeping toms but what about bigger things in life? is JAKIM doing anything to advised the government on how a Muslim Leaders should act and behave? We have soooooooooooo many Islamic Advisors; JAIS, JAKIM, JAWI, MUFTI's and non have so far commented the way things are being run in this country. Balless buggers ill call em!

raw talent

i guess you to suffer more to be an artist, not just mere artist but those who put there soul on the line on trying to make other feel what they feel. there's a list of troubled legendary artist from vincent van gogh, to monet to billy holliday and even eva cassidy they all have this ability to transmit their inner most feelings.

problems sharpens their skills and bring about their drive to over come it. their point in life was to suffer and to live while leaving behind a legacy so supreme that it marked their own niche.

Malaysia's Development

i was going through immigration department's website regarding Entry Permits application and to me there seems to be some flaws.

Entry Permit (EP) is a permit issued to foreigners who are not citizen of Malaysia entering to reside in this country. Those who have been issued with EP are exempted from applying for any type of Pass either for employment or other purpose.

  • Wife of Malaysian Citizen residing in this country on long stay Social Visit Pass / Temporary Employment Pass / Employment Pass on a year-to-year renewable basis CONTINOUSLY for 5 years or more.
  • what about foreign husbands of malaysian wives, don't these women deserve equal rights?
  • Application can be made using an IM.4 Pin 1/93 Form with a local sponsor by husband of applicant.

Enquiries can be forwarded to :-

Visa, Pass and Permit Division
Entry Permit Unit,
Department of Immigration, Malaysia
Level 3, Block 2G4 (PODIUM) Precint 2,
Federal Government Administration Centre,
62550 Putrajaya.

Tel No : 03-88801391, 03-88801373
Fax No : 03-88801374
or any department nearest to applicant.

Ministry of Human Resources.
Tel No : 03-8886500
Fax No : 03-8882378
Website : www.jaring.my/ksm

The payment for issuance of Entry Permit is RM 120.00

  • Children of Malaysian Citizen below 6 years old.
  • what about children pass the age of 6 years?
  • Application can be made using an IM.4 Pin 1/93 Form sponsor by father / mother / close relative of applicant who is Malaysian Citizen / Permanent Resident of Malaysia.

  • Spouse and children of Malaysian Citizen who posess expertise / skills and overseas working experience, planning to return and work in Malaysia (under the programme to encourage Malaysian Citizens with expertise residing overseas to return to Malaysia).
  • what about children who possess no expertise skill and have been staying in malaysia for the past 16 years?
  • Approval of this application will be given within 6 months from the date submition to the Immigration Department.

well my interest in the immigrations started off because of my friend. his mom his malaysian citizen and hes been staying here in malaysia for 16 years and yet these people rejected their application for the last 10 years of Permanent Residence. WHY? i have no idea. on paper its all good and he fits all the criteria's that they have asked.

so why is it that he was denied permanent residency (in a long strecth citizenship) by them?

being rather critical again, i was just commenting on a bad piece of work on the Sejarah Malaysia Website with its badly written articles. it was entirely boring.

i was trying to look up Malaysia's history on citizenships. the last time i spoke to was someone from Kementerian Keselamatan Dalam Negeri. the uncle was telling me the reason why he was having a hard time getting a citezenship was that it could be due to his Grandmother and Grandfathers (mother's side - malaysian) way of obtaining their citizenship.

funny aint it? 30 years ago of history is being made accountable for todays. where did they get the idea from? the story was (according to uncle) those days there was several ways of getting your citizenship, the legal way (those born pre merdeka), the almost legal way (.... ) and the not legal way (those via schemes brought through sabah and sarawak?). so the thing was my friend's grandmother was chinese, and his grandfather india (or mamak lah considering he's muslim).

i don't see the correlation either. but then again some civil servants do love to do your head in. the term budi bicara only applies to friends and family. it doesnt matter if someone is need of help but they don't know you then by all means GET LOST in the most nicest manner they could muster.

seriously i've work with some shitty people before... if only it was as easy to be accepted as it is kicked out. then everyone would work much harder.


dear adam,

i am 55 year old woman living with my husband for 30years, i am unhappy. he doesn't communicate with me nor does he touches me and yet we've been sleeping in the same bed for almost 30 years. i am very sad, he changed the day we've got married. marriage is not what its all about, if i knew it would be like this i wouldn't have married.

we have 6 kids, the youngest being 8 and the oldest 22. i've tried asking his siblings to talk to him to release me, and i've even proposed that he marries another. but still he refuses to do any of that and its been years then. he doesn't want to see a marriage counsellor and when he does actually does anything its only for a few weeks and back again to his old self.

i am at lost to what to do, i've been thinking of going to Religious Department to ask for a divorce as it is torturing me. what can i do? i've heard if the woman asks for divorce; shared property will all go to him. is this true? and if i were to divorce him can i take care of my 6 children? it worries me endlessly. though i've stayed in this marriage for the sake of my children who needs a father but what about me who in needs of a husband? he does not takes care of my need, he doesn't share his love nor show it.

i just don't understand at all, he comes home from work and just sits infront of the tv till 1 am before coming in to bed. i fear that someday i'll lose control and everything will turn ugly. i cannot stand any more but i don't know what to do.

what can i do?

recently i've met a man who could made me laugh and made me happy again, though marrying again is far from my thoughts he does make me feel alive. he is married with kids and our relationship is just friends. since i am well over 40, i cannot comprehend the thought that i'll be alone again, but living with my husbands has left me distraught. i find pleasures in the company of my friends during the weekends when he takes the kids out. i've spent an accumulated amount of RM50,000 in shopping just so that i could forget the things that is happening to me. i am happier outside my home and it just brings me down again when ever i've come home to cold distant husband.

i need help, but whom can i turn to?

menanti sebuah jawapan..

aku tak bisa luluh kan hati mu, dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cinta mu ... PADI (layan deh)

does anyone knows how it feels to be trapped in this never ending cycle of repetitious emotions and head spinning feelings that makes you want to vomit over and over again?

what am i cracking about? honestly to God i don't know. office is at its cycle of getting new officers. my nemesis is kicked out to another unit (a cause of celebration?) and im still stuck where i am. i have so many plans and things to do but the only thing that lacks is my enthusiasm to keep it up.

i need counsellors!! i really do wish i had the quirks and talents to discover my patient's weakness and induce motivation in them selves to say NO to DRUGS! i know for a fact some of them is on the road to freedom but now and then due to family and friends some of 'em fall from grace. AADK hasn't been much help at all, i need to call em again this few days to remind them of their work here in my place.

............................................ rambling rambling rambling.. too many things in my head..

to Budaksetan no 7 ( i think, cos there's 7 em) .. may you find peace and calm where you are. immerse yourself in the land of prophets, absorbe the hundreds of years of history to only deduce your own conclusion of what life is. life is about living it, no pain no gain i always say. may this ramadhan brings you a little closer to sense of peace in your heart. for no love may fill your heart other than those who brings you joy. people comes and people goes, thats how it is. but the memories remain.

to Mr.Hobbit Engineer and MR ID wiz; love means staying with them all through thick and thin. but it doens't mean you love them if your heart is somewhere esle. to be or not to be is always been your question, and i tell you to choose either one. to be stuck in the middle of nowhere is like living with a ghost. yes, you think you are responsible and you think you are doing them a favour by staying with her but really do you think you are doing that? i hope in many hopes in future, you find the road that leads to your freedom. off not for them but for yourselves. be brave for the uncertain, a step you will have to take.

someday we'll know, if love can move a mountain
one day i'll go dancing on the moon.
someday you'll know that i was the one for youuuuuuu..

apa-apa lah labu

tak penah penah aku membaca novel melayu, pertama kali dalam hidup ku yg gundah gulana (chehhh hehe) ini membacalah aku sebua novel hasil tulisan rakan ku, yang sekian lamanya tak jumpa. nak dekat setahun kot kami tak jumpa. masing-masing ngan masalah masing-masing yang pada dasarnya sama masalah itu tetapi dia telah berjaya memecahkan belengu masalah dia itu dengan rahmat dari Nya.


so he gave me 3 books to read, he already gave me 2 before and even that i haven't even finished it...

Menara Gedembai:
Fascinating writing, a psychopath whose point of cleansing the earth of evil is through evil it self. he find ways to murder in the most horrendous way the lives of men who he deems evil, and yet his actions is neither saintly nor saviour. the plot involves complex characters each with their own uniqueness that seems to amaze that they could intertwine together. its a myriad of personalities and problems one who would think that you were reading a socialogy text books. its a book of the supernaturals that got caught in the modern world. the narrator suprisingly is not the writer...

well its a start for me, in reading bahasa melayu novels. id usually go for the really old text of 'hikayats' with its interesting words and phrases. so i hope this will be the first of the many...

the man who thought he could fly

he probably thought he could fly, seeing how he manage to flap his hands for a 2 secs or so. what was going on in his head? i wanted to know, i wanted to know why this young man wanted to jump a 4 floor building and land outside my office?

was he trying to achieve something by jumping? he is still here, albeit in broken parts and for what? for what reason did he had to do such a thing? to inflict more pain on his already sicken body?

we will never know.

and so i thought to myself, 'he must in so much pain, can't we do anything?'

divorce.. messy shit

why is it 2 grown up so consume with hate and vengeance that they cannot look past the hurt and pain to realize they are wasting time plotting to get at one another. when they could have just end the game and carry on with their damn stupid lives?

ive always heard of stories of how divorces can be messy and painful and i would never thought some day it could apply to me.

my aunt and uncle is divorcing, and recently things are getting up to court for God Knows reasons which i myself i don't want to know. less that you know the less it will hurt you; and some how i find myself sort off 'involved' all because of me wanting to be nice to my Ex-Uncle i went and visit him at his office somewhere in Bangi. i didn't realize telling him how my aunt is going along will somehow used by him in court. shit.

back from KK and suddenly there's so many mess that needs cleaning up.

perhaps im over reacting, i just wish my aunt just sign the damn papers and let our lives move on. why hold on to something that is already lost? my uncle is already remarried with a kid now. let bygone be bygones. is that so hard?

cheh org tua nih..

SUN2SURF - Husna Yusop

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has blamed civil servants for many of the problems in the country which has made the people angry and hate the government.(kuang ajaq.. hang yg tak betui ckp kami..terasa aku yg bekerja keras nih..)

He said this (anger and hatred for the goverment) can be reduced if civil servants would change their attitude and carry out their responsibilities accordingly so as not to create unnecessary problems for people dealing with the government. (betoi betoi setuju)

"...for example, our inefficiency in doing our jobs, our extreme bureaucratic measures which make people hate us,our actions which people think involved corruption, or our decisions on the private sector or the people which were made too late," he said at the PM’s Department monthly assembly this morning. (hello ..excuse me.. sapa yg tala berjuta2 ringgit tp ntak kemana duit tuh???)

He warned that foreign investments which is much needed by the country as they bring projects and job opportunities for the people may be lost if potential investors find there were delays or unsatisfactory decisions in Malaysia. (ha la.. hang kejap nak naik minyak, kejap nak turun, kejap tak bubar parlimen, kejap bubar.. awat chek?)

"They (foreign investors) will not come if they have to face a higher cost due to the delay in the government’s decision-making process. Surely they would not like to accept this extra cost, especially because it comes from the administration," he said, adding that when making decisions, civil servants must always be patient, sincere, honest, responsible and trustworthy. (.. always hear your own advise)

"Don’t let people think we are not responsible, not trustworthy, not caring at all or arrogant. This will surely make them angry and this is not good because all these are our own doing."

"It is not because of Europe or what is happening in America or other countries. This is our own doing, which we must avoid," he said adding it is also the people’s responsibility to maintain peace and stability in the country.

"We are the ones who determine our peace and stability. Not other countries; not other people. Yes, it may be difficult when we were facing various problems but it is still our responsibility to take care of political stability, to ensure peace within our country.

"We have laws whose sovereignty we must uphold strongly. Our enforcement must be effective. This is what we should do - our responsibility. No need to ask people from far to come (here) or accuse others for our inability to ensure peace and stability," he said. (what happens when your PDRM who suppose to uphold peace and law keeps breaking them?)

Abdullah also touched on the government’s delay in making payments especially to contractors despite the Chief Secretary to the Government Tan Sri Mohd Sidek Hassan saying all bills will be settled "within the shortest time possible."(hang nih.. PM of course cepat dpt duit, tak tau betapa lambat nya kami nak dpt duit nak lalu paperwork lg.. sblm duit perbelanjaan itu sampai ke tangan kami? )

"Don’t delay. Why should we delay payment of the bills? The works have been done, the money now belong to others, why would we want to keep it? Why should we delay when people are waiting?

"If it is delayed for three months, the cost of business will increase. They cannot make their payments to the banks. When this happens, the interests will become higher. This is also our problem which makes people angry at us," he said.

He said when the people are angry, all kinds of negative stories will be heard and allegations will be made against the country, especially in the borderless Internet world. (angry at you lar... what did we do?)

"I am not saying all those who used the Internet and blogs are not good. While there are some who were responsible, there are also those who abused it," he said, adding some people misused the Internet to spread rumours. (duh.. sapa yg abuse MSM?)

the truth of today

Ok, i know this article is rather long but the facts that is said one cannot deny it.

take some time to read it aight.. over and out.

The scene in Malaysia is so sickening. It is depressing even to open the newspapers. You see nothing but lies, denials, accusations, Koranic challenges, intimidations, threats and what you may.

The sense of shame, decency, professionalism, conscience, and respect for the elders seem to have beeen thrown into the gutter as if it does not matter anymore. Greed, lust, corruption, criminal behaviour, total disregard for fellow citizens, racist tendencies, governmental malaise, etc., seem to be the norm amongst elected representatives and those people in positions and power. The sense of security for law abiding citizens in the country seem to be almost non-existent; what with the rising crime rate that seems to become rampant in this country. Murders, burnt human carcasses, rapes, kidnaps, armed robberies, ransoms, gang fights, suicides seem to become a norm in our Malaysian society as is reported in all the news media. The corruption scandals that prevail in the country, especially in the government sector, seem to be more an epidemic and needs immediate attention of gigantic scales. All I can see are the blatant signs and symptoms of a decadent society and it frightens the very existence of our society and as a nation altogether.

The current discussions among the people -- be it in the coffee shops, homes, offices, and perhaps in the schools -- seem to revolve only on the subject of sodomy. Sodomy itself is sickening, dirty, uncouth and smelly. Yet it is the preferred talk of the day, whether amongst the young or old. Whoever talks of sodomy is actually talking about the human anus. This part of the human anatomy is very personal and is used only for excretion of the faeces. Yet, the way it is been thrown around, it appears that human beings in Malaysia are walking around with their anuses popping out for all and sundry to see and relish. I am quite sure the adolescents and teenagers must be busy browsing the internet to see what else is being done with people’s anus, especially between the opposite sexes. All of a sudden they may sight a website where the anus action is being filmed and video taped. I think this is an obvious sign of mental sickness and such sickness needs counselling and treatment. This manifests into one becoming a pervert and these perverts if not treated would be walking time bombs for sexual crimes.

Right now the subject of sodomy in Malaysia seem to be the only boring but common issue around. Everybody is directly or indirectly promoting sodomy as if this is a Malaysian tourist attraction. Frankly, almost everybody seems to be contributing to this sodomy issue. Our government leaders seem to hold no restraint and the newspapers and mass media are equally guilty. It has become so gross that it appears that sodomy is the leading export commodity of Malaysia. It has become so grotesque so much so that one of our top leaders was allegedly involved in sodomite activities with a foreign girl who was murdered in Malaysia. There is so much of news being circulated on the internet and the newspapers. Yet the said leader is so cool about these despicable rumours as if it is a small matter that he can just brushed aside and continue with his life as usual. The message here is that the young children are being taught a subject matter and they are made to feel that it is okay, as the countries leaders are practicing the same. I would have thought that these concerned leaders should have taken full responsibility for these rumours and to further uphold their seriousness they would have resigned or would have been told to resign. Yet, in this country, this is taken with a pinch of salt and is brushed aside as if it is a trivial matter. Such officials are happily gallivanting around the globe with no shame or guilt and that all is fine and dandy in Malaysia. There is so much ‘noise’ being made about religion and that each one is holier than the other. The way I see it I can only see hypocrisy, pretence, falsehoods, chauvinism, immorality of unbelievable proportions, and gross indiscipline -- so much so that there is a total fiasco in every institution in the country.

The issue of sodomy, as I said, is sickening and disgusting. Let me get straight to the point. A young, tough, strapping 23-year old guy claims that he has been sodomised by a 62-year old man suffering from chronic back pain. Who is this man? It is Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim, and I would reckon he is probably the last statesman left in this country, perhaps for another 200 years, who has a vision for the people and the nation. Having analysed his speeches and dialogues, both within the country as well as all over the world, it is evident he is the busiest politician, or I can say the busiest human being in the country. He is an intellectual, a Muslim spiritualist, a leader with incredible charisma, almost to the point where people just adore to be in his presence, I have been told that he is a man with monumental or gigantic networking abilities to a point of being a networking genius. He is a skilled and tactical organiser of incredible proportions and a talented orator in both English and the Bahasa Malaysia.

I must also state here that he is a wonderful husband and a fantastic father, a husband who has devoted himself to his wife and vice versa, I think for the last 26 years or so. If there were an ounce of doubt then they would have separated after six years in jail. But, no, they have become stronger even after six years of forced separation, being thrown in jail. Their children are strongly in support of the father. In short, they are a well-bonded family, bonded with extreme love and affection. I must also state here the following: Dato Seri Anwar’s wife is no ordinary wife. She is a medical specialist by profession. Let it be known to everyone that if a person has homosexual characteristics then any doctor would easily detect these characteristics. In the same logical analysis, Dr Wan Azizah, his wife, can easily make an assessment of her husband and would have advised him to seek proper counselling.

Obviously, there has been no such advice as her husband is a perfectly normal person. It appears it is the evil forces around that insist that her husband is not normal and that it must be proven against all norms that he is not normal. Isn’t this clearly evident that evil forces are trying to destroy a perfect family beyond any reasonable doubt. I must say if the evil forces exist then we, the people, must do everything necessary to protect and preserve the family rather than protecting the forces that are hell bent on destroying a perfect family. This is against the very foundations of every religion that exists on this planet.

Frankly, as a non-Muslim, I am really wondering if these so-called Muslims are aware that it is they themselves who are destroying the very basic foundations of such a good religion, Islam, that promotes morality and good virtues. Forgive me if I am wrong but from what I see happening in our very own Muslim majority nation I am confused and beg for clarification. The government of the day, being a Muslim majority, should also take all measures to preserve a rightfully existing family and not to destroy the same. That would be the perfect formula for the destruction of a nation and the people.

Coming back to this 23-year old strapping, tough guy who now claims he was sodomised by Anwar against his wishes, let me be frank and straight. Why did he allow himself to be sodomised against his wishes as he claims to have been? He has the muscles and the strength to have brutally assaulted Anwar if he wanted to. Anwar would have been murdered if he had to have been assaulted by this chap. Was Anwar assaulted? No. Was this young, strapping character assaulted? Was this strapping young guy bruised with the finger nails of Anwar’s grabbing and wrapping fiasco on this attractive ‘shemale’, which a million dollars would not suffice to buy in the open market..!! No

Was he assaulted in his anus? No, based on the Hospital Pusrawi doctor who examined him. I would give an analogy here. What if Mike Tyson (the former world heavy weight boxing champion) goes and makes a police report that his girlfriend assaulted him so badly that he has lost his testicles or that his anus was brutalised by the girl with some plastic object that it was beyond his self-defence? Is the world supposed to believe this? The other analogy is that a parishioner in Vatican has made a police report that the Pope has sexually sodomised a young man in the Pope’s bedroom. What is the world supposed to do? At this rate every doctor is a potential victim of a police report that the doctor has sexually assaulted the patient in the consultation room. I will go a step further. Every dentist is subject to his patient’s frolic of reporting him or her to sexual abuse as the dentist has his or her arms around the patient at all times on the dental chair. At this rate every doctor is supposed to be living in jails, as they can be arrested by the police due to police reports by patients. At this rate it is better to abolish medical and dental practice altogether and let the patients die. This is only possible if the world becomes totally mad and there is no more the system of governance.

I would reckon the tough guy who made this report is no weakling or a small 8-year old child who was helpless and who now needs the help of the police or the Prime Minister or the Deputy Prime Minister or the Home Minister or the IGP, as he is suffering in silence. This is a tough man who could have killed a 62-year old sick man with a bad back if at all he was sexually assaulted. He does not need the protection of our entire police force, the Prime Minister’s department, or the Deputy Prime Minister’s office or even the Home Minister’s office against a grandfather who does not even have the time to make love to his own wife and who is so busy trying to create a new vision for his country. I would reckon he does not even have the time to make his day within the 24 hours of the day. He probably needs 48 hours a day for him to complete his daily tasks.

Something does not appear right. Yet the entire government machinery is now being mobilised to intimidate and destroy this one man by the name of Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim. From what I see, the entire government is being utilised to ensure that one college ‘dropout’ is allowed to make a disgusting name for himself and perhaps a lot of money to last him a lifetime without going to college, as he is a college dropout without any merit to pursue any formal tertiary education but who persisted to meet the Deputy Prime Minister for a scholarship. Frankly, this is an insult to every student’s intelligence as all you have to do is drop out of college and go see the DPM for a scholarship. Is this what the DPM is trying to portray to the students or the younger generation of our country? Don’t need to study in college but come to me with your anal activities and I will give you good future. I am sick, disgusted and dammed with our current leadership.

From my analysis, this complainant is no angel looking for protection or justice. He is indeed making a mockery of his religion. He has no shame to be known to the whole world that he is indeed an anal activist. I feel sorry for his family unless it is only some monetary gain that all and sundry are looking for. If this is true then I must feel sorry for his entire family. I cant imagine a tough, strapping 23-year guy who would admit himself to the hospital, the police, and what you may, exhibiting his anus to all and sundry as if his is something special which all the other men don’t have. I think this is indeed disgusting, shameful and an insult to the human species, unless it is a case of a psychiatric condition which of course is excusable -- in which case the rightful action for all concerned parties which includes the PM, DPM, Homes affairs and of course his own family members to cart him away to the nearest psychiatric hospital for admission and long term medical care. That would have been the right course of help and action that any sane character would have done to this meek and helpless chap.

Finally, this young character has suddenly started issuing challenges to Dato’ Seri Anwar that Anwar should swear on the Koran. According to the doctor who first examined him, he was not sodomised. Perhaps he could have been deodorised by the hospital attendants!! Yet if he insists that he was sodomised, then he did nothing to prevent himself from being sodomised -- though he could have easily maimed or killed this so called sodomiser. If he did nothing to prevent the act of anal sex then he could be an active anal activist -- in which case he is either a sheer hypocrite or a devil in disguise trying to destroy the Islamic religion. Woe befall the man who attempts to destroy any religion. Pray God the Almighty, our country can do without this sickening scenario!

It does not take a genius to conclude if this young college drop out is an epitome of innocence, helplessness, powerless, speechless, physically weak, of an angelic morality that he now needs the full protection of the law, the judiciary, the PM, the DPM, the Home Affairs Ministry and possibly every available machinery in the country -- including welfare services, human rights organisations and probably the UN, world court, etc. I would conclude this is a wicked manipulator of the current political happenings facing the country. The BN government has been hit with a Tsunami that it has lost its ocean ship’s radar and is now floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean waiting for international relief efforts to salvage its last known crew or passengers or perhaps help to extricate some dead carcasses into coffins.

It is evident the BN government, the police, the Home Ministry, the AG’s office and every other powerful machinery are being used to conserve and protect the anal activities of some pseudo anti-sodomy legions that seem to be the one and only program of the last vestiges left of a sinking rogue regime. The grotesque shamelessness of this sinking regime is evident by its faceless thick-skinned revelations and support of an anal activist, whose lies, counter lies, religious bigotry is for all to swallow and puke. The people, especially the tax-paying members of the population, are fully aware that it is their money that are being used with impunity to massacre the religion of Islam, to cause harm to rightful law abiding citizens, to steal their rightful resources in terms of the nations resources, to protect their ill gotten wealth, and to further deny their basic rights to personal security against the criminal activities of rapists, murderers, thieves, and robbers. Nobody cares anymore. Not the government, not the cabinet and not even the establishment appointed to maintain the law and order in the country. The taxpayers maintain the police from their own pockets yet the people paid to do this job has absconded and has instead decided to do the evil deeds of the rich and powerful. I for one feel the BN government has lost all moral grounds to continue feeding itself on the rakyat’s money and should now absolve itself of any more rights and surrender itself to the people and to let the people decide what is best for themselves.

I pray God to let the wisdom of good sense prevail among the people concerned.

Dr Mathew
Kelana Jaya

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