anyone?

dear adam,

i am 55 year old woman living with my husband for 30years, i am unhappy. he doesn't communicate with me nor does he touches me and yet we've been sleeping in the same bed for almost 30 years. i am very sad, he changed the day we've got married. marriage is not what its all about, if i knew it would be like this i wouldn't have married.

we have 6 kids, the youngest being 8 and the oldest 22. i've tried asking his siblings to talk to him to release me, and i've even proposed that he marries another. but still he refuses to do any of that and its been years then. he doesn't want to see a marriage counsellor and when he does actually does anything its only for a few weeks and back again to his old self.

i am at lost to what to do, i've been thinking of going to Religious Department to ask for a divorce as it is torturing me. what can i do? i've heard if the woman asks for divorce; shared property will all go to him. is this true? and if i were to divorce him can i take care of my 6 children? it worries me endlessly. though i've stayed in this marriage for the sake of my children who needs a father but what about me who in needs of a husband? he does not takes care of my need, he doesn't share his love nor show it.

i just don't understand at all, he comes home from work and just sits infront of the tv till 1 am before coming in to bed. i fear that someday i'll lose control and everything will turn ugly. i cannot stand any more but i don't know what to do.

what can i do?

recently i've met a man who could made me laugh and made me happy again, though marrying again is far from my thoughts he does make me feel alive. he is married with kids and our relationship is just friends. since i am well over 40, i cannot comprehend the thought that i'll be alone again, but living with my husbands has left me distraught. i find pleasures in the company of my friends during the weekends when he takes the kids out. i've spent an accumulated amount of RM50,000 in shopping just so that i could forget the things that is happening to me. i am happier outside my home and it just brings me down again when ever i've come home to cold distant husband.

i need help, but whom can i turn to?