its not me but myself

It’s time for coffee, music and words.

My 10 minutes.

It doesn’t seem long.

It seems so short, so quick and so sudden.

Can anything last more than 10 minutes with me?

The weather was perfect and the sun was half out; peeking through the clouds. Rain was teasing those who planned to go out for some fun.

I was sitting and looking on no where, day dreaming the “what if’s” in life. I was in my own world, my mind spinning to places I’ve wanted to be. I wished I could teleport. Wouldn’t it be so bloody easy? No bloody 4 hours ride down south.

I wanted to meet badly, the feeling was unbearable and it was jerking me deep inside.

I’m sitting casually sipping my tea with honey and eating my hot scones, topped with my favourite jam; strawberries.

Why is fat so cruel? To test me? To tease me? To lurch me over the edge and to pull me back again once I get too close?

Then came this moment.

Time stopped and eyes met. Shit my heart stopped. Literally.

Even in the drizzling rain, I could see clearly that there is something here. Something between us even in the briefest moments. Both of us frozen in our little space, unmovable and immobile.

I was scared of moving, that it might all end. I wanted it to last a life time. I wanted us to be it.

But neither of us knows each other, after that last escapade I was more than willing to stop falling over. To stop wanting someone so much, I was crazy and I was stupid.

‘So what!’

Enjoy while it last kan? Then after that get over it, move on and look for another. Life’s too short to be messed with one single person.

Was it something the way our interlocked that left no space for anything else? Or the way we accidentally glanced in each others direction that pave way for this fleeting moment? So much was there to tell about the other. The depth of the eyes betrayed a yearning to hold. To grasp another body in a tight embrace, to connect and to climaxed.

The eyes tired of looking, as if wanting more than just his brief exchange of looks.

We made our way towards the back of the shop, in the alley and witnessed by the gray dull sky our intimate moments.

There was no ‘hello’, no ‘greetings’ and no awkward introduction. Just us caught in the moment.

Expressing our needs.

It felt right in the wrong places.

All done and satisfied, our shyness caught up. Though unabashed minutes before we cant even look at each other. It was all mechanical afterwards, a single handshake, a quick exchange of numbers and we went our ways.

I was washing my hands and then I realized the number was written on my palm.

My bus came, found my seat and slept the whole journey towards down south.

Can’t wait to get there.