Jihad and the Wolfowitzes of the World

Taken from www.ziopedia.org

Written by Jihad Abu Az Zamman

Thursday, 27 July 2006

So, how did it really happen? How could a tiny paramilitary group such as Hezbollah manage to shake the almighty, American-supported Jewish state; something that the Arab states have relentlessly failed at doing for almost six decades?

In fact a similar question may be raised in reference to Iraqi insurgency. While it is rather evident that Saddam’s army was defeated by the overwhelming Anglo-American destructive power, Islamic resistance is winning the battle on the ground both in Iraq and Afghanistan. Neither America nor Britain seem able to come up with a reasonable excuse for the growing number of deadly attacks against their invasion forces.

Though the armies of Arab states are occasionally defeated in the battlefield, though too many Arab statesmen happen to follow the path drawn by Washington with resolute determination, Islamic resistance, which is not recognised in any national form, is there to fight back. Moreover, Islamic defiance is unbeatable. The Israelis have been watching the growing wall of Muslim resistance for over two decades. In Palestine it is the Hamas and in Lebanon it is the Hezbollah. In this theatre, Islamic militants deliver one blow after the other to Israel. Similarly, the American army is chased on a daily basis by insurgency both in Iraq and Afghanistan. As much as the far more powerful Soviets failed in Afghanistan, neither Israel, nor America nor Britain have the capability of responding effectively to the emerging Islamic guerrilla warfare.

Once and for all we better face it. Arabs are far from being at their very best if they are operating in the format of a ‘national state’. The Arab soldier may lack the necessary will to die for an idiotic flag. Both in the case of Saddam’s Iraq or Nasser’s Egypt, once within a conflict, a growing gap reveals itself between the charismatic, assertive, far over the top demagogue leader and some serious malfunctioning performance in the battlefield. Unlike the American, British, French, and Israeli soldiers who have proved throughout history to have some real tendency towards collective suicide for some empty promises shaped as ‘ideology’, the Arab platoon is slightly behind in exhibiting this kind of idiotic national patriotic militant zeal. He may as well be just too clever for those kind of deadly games.

Should it be a big surprise? Not at all. Nationalism is a European concept, it has very little to do with the Arab mentality, history and general affairs. National patriotism has never made serious headway into the Arab psyche. The division of Arabia and the Middle East into small national states with borders and flags has never been a natural evolvement of the indigenous Arab people themselves. Instead it was the outcome of some international political manoeuvring imposed upon Arabs by the superpowers. The slicing of the near east into small national states was intended to serve the interests of Western imperial forces. In practice it was Britain and France who drew up the borders of the Middle East already in 1916 (The Sykes-Picot Agreement) and it was America who joined in later just to reshape those borders to guarantee Israel’s safety as well as a constant oil supply.

With the lack of crude nationalist zeal, it isn’t a big surprise that Arab state armies fail to provide the goods in the battlefield. Yet, the Hezbollah, the Hamas and the insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan are agonising the Western armies. They manage to do so just with light weaponry: without tanks, without cruise missiles, without satellites, without a navy. They win without airplanes and without the support of a superpower. All they have at their disposal is merely a belief, namely Jihad.

Looking at Iraq (or what is left of it), at Bin Laden (the myth), at the Hamas (the democratically elected Palestinian government) and the Hezbollah (the ultimate success story) it is rather clear. The Arab wins when and only when he fights as a Muslim, as a believer. Unlike the shallow Westerner soldier who gives his life for empty manmade slogans, the Muslim would give his life for a divine cause. I will spit it out: if there is any meaningful notion behind ‘Arab nation’ this notion is Islam. The Muslim takes orders from the Almighty Lord. I may admit that if I myself, being a secular had to choose between the call of a retarded American president and the Lord, I would obviously go for the latter.

However, it is rather obvious that the Wolfowitzes of this world fail to realise that Arab nationalism as defined in independent states is basically a myth. They mistakenly consider the Arab territorial landscape as a genuine national reflection of some real authentic ethnic aspiration as well as geo-political considerations. In fact, such a perception has nothing to do with reality. Lebanon and Syria are one country, at least in the eyes of very many Syrians and Lebanese. The north of Palestine is no different from Lebanon and the West Bank has been long considered a unified territory with Transjordan. When Lebanon is demolished by the Jewish state’s air might and around a third of its population is displaced, the Syrians would be the first to provide humanitarian support. When Gaza is murderously and indiscriminately bombarded by the IDF, the Hezbollah would be there to open a second front and to ease the pressure on their Palestinian brothers. When American and British expansionist forces insist upon robbing Iraqi oil, it is the Muslim brotherhood who would stop them rather than the Iraqi army. Arab resistance is in practice an exercise in Islamic brotherhood. For those who still fail to get the picture, Jihad goes far beyond any Western sense of local national patriotism. Jihad is cosmic, yet it is personal.

While the Wolfowitzes of this world would insist upon dominating the Arab world in the name of democracy and some other quasi liberal ideas, it is the Islamic freedom fighter who crosses lands and seas just to serve the American GIs with the ultimate performance of human devotion. While the Wolfowitzes of this world insist upon transforming Britain and America into an Israeli mission force, it is the Muslim brotherhood that gives us good reason to believe that eventually, when the time is ripe, peace will prevail.

For those amongst us who refuse to acknowledge what Islam is all about, I will mention that the Arabic ‘root’ of the word ‘Islam’ is Salama which originates from the words Peace and/or Submission, a submission to God and peace to all humanity.

Indeed Jihad itself is a word that bears further analysis. It stems from the Arabic root word J-H-D, which means ‘strive.’ Other words derived from this root include ‘effort,’ ‘labour,’ and ‘fatigue.’ Essentially Jihad is an effort to practice religion in the face of oppression and persecution. At its highest form it is fighting the enemy of Muslims and Islam. Certainly, Condi, Bush, Olmert and his Jewish state are the bitterest enemies of Islam. And yet, Islam defines the boundaries of Jihad.

The Quran tells us (Quran 2:190-193):

• Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not transgressors.

• And slay them wherever you catch them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out; for tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter; but fight them not at the Sacred Mosque, unless they (first) fight you there; but if they fight you, slay them. Such is the reward of those who suppress faith.

• But if they cease, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

• And fight them on until there is no more tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in Allah; but if they cease, let there be no hostility except to those who practice oppression.

In short, unlike the brutal Israeli aggression and the murderous American zeal that know no limits, Islam restricts violence, furthermore, its aim is not domination, but peace. This will obviously happen when Israeli occupation is ended and Palestinians return to their land and home. This will happen when Zionised Anglo-American colonialism is totally defeated. This message is clear and not open to negotiation.

Looking at the Hezbollah, at the Hamas and the insurgent war in Iraq doesn’t leave much room for doubt. While many Arab nations have been defeated, Arab brotherhood, i.e., Islam is winning. If I were an Israeli who lived in occupied Palestine I would be rather worried. The excessive use of power and indiscriminate killing of Lebanese, Palestinians and UN peace keeping soldiers is the direct outcome of deep Israeli anxiety. The Zionist tactic is failing and they all know it. Their army doesn’t provide the goods anymore. By now, you may be able to guess why. Nationalism is foreign to Jews almost as much as it is foreign to Arabs. In fact, Zionism ceased being a local national movement a long time ago. Since the Balfour Declaration (1917) more and more Zionists operate as a Jewish Ethnic lobby promoting Jewish global interests. For more than a while Zionism is not interested solely in Eretz Israel i.e., ‘promised land’, instead, it intends upon transforming our universe into a ‘Promised Universe’. This idea is known as Neoconservatism and its largely Elder Zionist messengers who spread it are active in London (http://eustonmanifesto.org/), NYC and Washington (http://www.newamericancentury.org/).

But time is running out for Neocon philosophy as well as its practitioners. I do not know whether history repeats itself in general but somehow, as far as Jewish History is concerned, the same tale keeps rewriting itself: it is a story of an obsessive relentless will to power that always ends in tragic circumstances. It happened in the Middle Ages in Spain, it happened in17th century Poland and Ukraine (Bogdan Chmielnitzki), it happened in 20th century Europe and it seems as if something dramatic is about to happen in America.

When the American Jewish Committee (AJC) is manifestly engaged in dragging America into war in Iran all in the name of world Jewry http://www.ajc.org/atf/cf/{42D75369-D582-4380-8395-D25925B85EAF}/Al_Qaida_Iran_Hizballah.pdf .When the Wolfowitzes of this world happened to be the architects behind the criminal war in Iraq, one may find oneself wondering whether Jews themselves ever learn anything from their own history. I really prefer not to think about what is going to be the outcome of the current blunt Jewish war waging. Considering the emerging American defeat in Iraq and growing international isolation, it is just a question of time before a charismatic American figure points the finger at the Israeli lobby. Devastatingly enough, it isn’t only Jews, many of them totally innocent, who are going to suffer when that happens. By the time all the Wolfowitzes of this world realise that it is time to evade the American vengeance (what may evolve into a new Jewish tragedy namely Coca Colacaust), they will probably try to escape to Palestine, God Forbid.

Clearly, Zionists and their Jewish state are highly engaged in perpetrating a new world war, we have a good reason to believe that Olmert didn’t rule out the possibility that the current conflict in Lebanon may lead towards a further escalation with Syria and Iran. It obviously didn’t stop him. Why should it stop him? As soon as the Israelis started to drop bombs on Beirut Bush and Blair rushed to support Israel’s right to defend itself.

The Wolfowitzes of this world have different names for the conflict they themselves created. They often call it a cultural clash and they are pretty good in wrapping their naked murderous zeal with some quasi humanist reasoning. More than anything they love to present themselves as the messengers of democracy. Yet, if indeed their notion of democracy is anything like the ‘single- race Democracy’, practiced in their dearly beloved murderous Israel, it isn’t that surprising why their ideas do not gain ground anywhere.

Seemingly, for the sake of keeping their little racist Jewish state alive, the Wolfowitzes are happy to wage an all out war against Islam. So far Condi, Bush and Blair are showing support. The Wolfowitzes are over the roof but how to say it, half a million Lebanese have lost their homes as a result.

Somehow, the Wolfowitzes of this world always fail to internalise that human beings are morally orientated creatures. Indeed nations and people can live through some evil phases. Not that many years ago it happened in Germany, it now happens in America. Yet, human beings have something the Wolfowitzes lack. They have an ethical correction mechanism; humans regret their wrongdoing, they have a conscience. America lived through McCarthyism but recovered, it still tries to deal with its racist past and current racial discrimination, it has been dealing with its war crimes in Vietnam. America, no doubt will shake itself of its Zionist murderous phase. It just doesn’t have any other choice. When this happens the Wolfowitzes of this world will have to hide behind the rock and tree, and the rock and tree will say: “oh American, there is a Wolfowitz behind me, I am scared, take him away! Help, help!”

being a man..

being a man, a son and a brother; all me, it is inevitble that i have to carry some burdens in life. there is no room for me, sacrifices and sacrifices are everything a man should do in order to keep the family together. the burden of this world is little as to compare the rewards that i hope to get in the after life.

my parents shall be looked after, despite of all my wants and needs, their own should come first. it is the turning of the wheel of life. when i came to this world i have nothing to shield me from sufferings and pains of the world. my father and mother shielded me, nurtured me and fed me. i am me if not for them. the wheel turns and now i find myself at the top, duty calls and this big arms shall hold my mother's hand and this shoulder shall carry the weight of my father. perhaps my adventures have come to an end finally, but i hope it opens new challenges ahead, new roads and new oppurtinity. if its not fated that i stay here so be it. ill find my riches anywhere, but i can never find another sets of parents like mine. i am here again, with a fork in the road and i cant decide whether to go left or right. each road enticing me to pick it as my destination. i try to look at the sky for stars to guide me, but it blinks and dissapeared behind the clouds. i try to stretch out my hand and perhaps feel which is the warmest of the two. but all i felt was the cold wind. so i closed my eyes, and prayed, prayed to the Al Mighty for guidance in making this hard decision. i need a sign Oh Lord, and i need help.

the call of duty as a son rings too loud for me to ignore.

all i can do now is wait and let destiny takes its course.

all from a reminder..

I am a person of eternal bonds, when I create a bond between any souls that pass through my so-called life I stay bonded. Even though they moved with time, graduating, getting married and having kids; for me my friends are my world. A friend of mine is due to “pop” in august, while another friend in October. The first with her second child and the latter her first. Having kids, creation and wonder of the Almighty, how lightly yet the word sound but when actually having one it weighs the world.

They are both 24 years, both my former classmates, both my companions through my years in form 4 and form 5. I’ve seen them grow, and I’ve seen them changed for the better. Albeit can be a bit wild sometimes, well only when I’m around; the Unattached One.

Its funny to think back during all those years before they all began their life as wives and as a mom soon-to-be. We wondered and we planned; my friends their wedding and honeymoon and me trying to figure out what I wanted to be, either a fireman or a police or an astronaut. Just kidding, although that was my childhood dreams after watching Police Academy the comedy, what I am now and what I wanted to be is beyond similar. As they say, the Almighty knows best.

This is my destiny and I’ve to accept it.

It was my friend’s son birthday yesterday; he’s 6 years old now. My friend got married right after SPM. He’s smart boy, always the entertainer whenever his mom would bring him about lepaking with us. I almost forgot his birthday if not for my reminder, always reminding that my life is flashing by so quickly.

Happy Birthday Aiman Aquim Bin Fariq.

I almost missed my best friend’s wedding, if not for my parents who sort-off lent me money to buy flight tickets back from tawau. Hehe. To be someplace where you’ve been hearing about all my life, to be watching my friend, sitting in the midst of the elders. Clad in white and serene and tranquil and most probably nervous. To be hearing my friend’s husband recited those words that I last heard from my own sister’s wedding. I don’t think I’ve felt so proud in my life, proud of what my friends have become of themselves. Only to have a flickering moment in my head and recalled how we were in high school.

All those years she has been planning for her wedding, the days when during lepak hours or during Biology she would talk about what she wanted, and I would listen. And then laugh about it later. Big dreams for girls back then, dreams that have become real after all.

Nowadays, some of them are moms, some of them wives and all of them productive member of society; these friends who turned out to be an engineer and bankers and moms. I just can’t find the words to tell them myself it indescribable to see them now.

Kepada Pn.Diana Paharodzi…. WOOOHOOOO! You got what you wanted … hehehe..


….all this from as simple reminder. I’m going nuts.

remembrance..

i wanted to right about remembrance, a progression of what i earlier wrote long ago..

its 3 months after my friend's death, her death surprised us all. well what death does not? (terminally ill don't count alright). her death was like a wake up call from some us whos happy slumbering away with life, just going by day by day and spending the time given to us lazily. i suppose i was one of those people, stuck in a past, frozen in the moment and terrified of the future.

but i am not anymore, sometimes i do do some reflections of the past, and now i live the present and plan the future.

there was a rumour that my late friend's diary surfaces. she by all those that knows her and i suppose i can testify to that; is a mysterious person. she kept things to her self when others bares everything to her self, especially me (sort of). she would laugh, she would smile and she would frown but all that are deceptive to what she was inside, and its this thought that made me sigh with a little hope that perhaps i have done enough while she was living. we are by all account keepers of our hearts. there are thoughts and feelings that we leave for ourself to know only.

as i heard about her diary, a secret little thought crept up, and i wanted to know 'was i ever mentioned by her'. i dreamt of seeking out this dossier secrets to decode her life and find out if ever my name is printed in those precious pages that binds her past life together.

the living worries with being remembered but does the dead cares at all?

the picture was from an MMS she sent 2 weeks before her death, it was out of the blue and so suddent. i had never gotten an MMS from her before, we did sms time to time. she didnt tell me much about whats going on in her life, she always seemd happy to me, so selfless that she did spent an entire dinner with me alone. bearing me for the whole nite eating our favourite tandoori chicken. i wasn't an easy person, complicated is understated more like tangled like ball of yarn after a kitten finished playing with it.

i wanted to badly know if ever written in her handwriting my name, to be mentioned by her in her thoughts; her private exclussive thoughts. perhaps on her solitary island in her head i was a name that she carved out on the palm trees amongst others that had made significant influences.

but as i thought more and more of this feeling to be recognized by her i feel its a quest that will never end, for one reason only that is she's gone. why conjure up the ghost of her past just for me to feel better about myself? after all she did gave me that MMS. she did think of me, and she does remember me. even for a brief period of time. during her busy schedule of work and living and life, she did had a little time to remember me; and i suppose that is better than looking for a name that was never written.

i must not be selfish, as she never was. i must move on.

...and as we celebrate death for the passing of the time since her departure, we must celebrate the begining of life itself. time has taken away my attention and made me see nothing of my present but blur visions. i have lost track of time by running away from it, i have tried to beat time by making it run faster than i am in the hope that the shites would past on quickly. but by doing just that i have forgotten what is there to remember, the importants things in life that i shoud remember; birthdays.

so as i humbly type out this words i must apologize sincerely to my friend for forgetting his 23rd birthday. i hope and pray that the life that you will lead would make a man out of you. a man strong to lead, a man compassion to love; a man all in all.

happy birthday...

Serpent.. an Omen?

I must confess that I love living in Sabah, I love the people, I love the culture, I love the friendliness and most importantly its WILDERNESS. I had a close encouter with the reptilian kind, up close and almost personnel if only I had the courage to go up to it and touch it.




I know I wasn't Jeff Corwin or Crocodile Dundee (loved this movies; for its innocence of a bush man and the nature that surrounds him); but I did have the motivation to go and touch the 5 foot snake slithering across the street. I'm always fascinated with animals, I can't stand the stench of cat's pee or a doggie poo but I do love animals nonetheless. The last time I had a pet was a cat named Danny Gray, but we lost it (went out exploring and didn't came back, probably some one cat-napped him cos he was one beautiful kitten, gray in colour with white rings on his tail); my fondest memories was when he lick my face with his smelly breath in the morning to let him out of my room to eat. Anyway, me ma was devastated when we he didn't came back. he was always the one to keep her company during her menopausal months. he was like family, only with extra fur, and never clean up his own shit.


Right, as I was talking about the snake earlier, i'm not sure what kind of snake it was. probably a phyton only because it was big and it didnt had the diamond that flares up like sails for a head to qualify as a cobra species. (not that i know how .. thats another matter). In supernatural belief by the Malays muslims, snakes can be djinns, morph into a snake. i'm not sure why snakes, but probably had connections with the event of Eve eating that apple. Don't know. by traditions if you found a snake slithering into your house you've got to do 2 things; the first is to address it and demand it to slither out of your house. Why? Good question, it relates what i was saying just now. it could be the djinns that took the shape of a snake. by addressing it and asking it to leaver your house could avoid certain supernatural problems. ask it thrice then if it don't leave your beautiful house then you can kill it or what ever it is you want do; like:

1. capture it and sell it to the nearest sinseh, they cherish snakes for their medicinal properties. i'm fine with my panadols thanks.
2. capture it and sell to the highest bidder for its meat, probably the same reasons as above.
3. capture it and skin it to make a beautiful handbag or belt.
   
4. call the wildlife agency and let them deal with it.
   

there's so many surprises in sabah, i'm just waiting for it to appear though i wish one at a time.. hehehe..

snakes by far are an interesting creature, i don't think there are that many legends and stories that involves animals when it comes to snakes. i mean the famous one are the Adam & Eve; [the picture is a western imaginations and interpretation; not of Islamic belief] where a snake was dupes by Satan (Iblis) to persuade Eve to bite the forbidden fruit,





the Buddha during his enlightenment; where a snake coiled around Buddha to protect him from the rain (i think or was it from the Demons), and the Rainbow serpent of the australian aborigines legends.

in short i just find snakes are a fascinating creatures of which some day i hope to get one as a pet ....

current reading..

Excerpts

"Faith is life itself.

Those that are wretched, in the full sense of the word, are those that are bereft of the treasures of faith. They are always in state of misery and anger.

[But whosoever turns away from my Reminder (neiher believes in this Qur'an or acts on its orders, etc.) verily, for him is a life of hardship.] [Qur'an 10:124]

The only means of purfying the heart and of removing anxieties and worries from it is to have complete faith in Allah, Lord of all that exists. In fact, there can be no meaning to life when one has no faith."

Talking of faith, does this mean I lack in faith? Its a question I'm not sure I can answer truthfully because I suppose I do lack abit of it. My friend told me the other day, when I told him 'Hey I do pray every day .. ', and he replied 'Well if you did, then you wouldn't be this way now would you?'

It stumped me for a moment, the ugly truth that perhaps what I have been doing all this while is not worth Allah's attentions. Meaning that perhaps all this praying was never to the quality that Allah demanded of his subjects.

Wudhu, yes.. I suppose its complete.

Clothes clean, Qibla? yeah in the right direction.

But something must be missing, something amiss that makes me still the person I am.

Lacking in faith, the very core that helps me stand in the winds of enticing sins. I sway a little but most time I do manage to just stand and let it pass.

I didn't know what made me picked up this book, I saw the nice hard cover but that wasn't what appealed to me. It was the cover; Don't Be Sad. Now here a book that tells me that I don't have to be sad. A manual perhaps with ways to tell me to be happy, if not happier. Here is a book not written but fame pyschotherapist. Here is a book not written by a Fat man appearing on Oprah.

Excerpts:

"The best course of action that a confirmed atheist can take, if he will not believe, is to take his own life. At least by doing so, he will free himself from the darkness and wretchedness in which he lives. How base and mean is a life without faith! How eternally accursed is the existance enveloping those who are outside of the bounderies set down by Allah!

[And We shall turn their hearts and their eyes away (away from guidance), as they refused to believe therein for the first time, and We shall leave them in their trespass to wonder blindly.][Qur'an 6:10]

How funny that I used to think like an atheist, I felt death would release me of this bonds that binds so tightly around my soul. I thought that perhaps death would let me free of this chains that strangles my heart. Its funny that I manage to pass through the phase and finally found this book that leads me back to the path of freedom; one that frees the soul and spirit.

There are more to read, more to understand and more to learn.

Perhaps after this I will be happy.

Beating around the bush ...

To talk or not to talk ... ask the burning bush.

Just of today, my Boss inform me and my collegues that we are NOT entitled to Medical Leave during our PRP (provisional registered pharmacist) years which is to say from 18th July 2005 till 18th July 2006. Now this has come to no surprise for us since the rumours was started last week after a friend from Penang informed us that the Pharmacy Penang State Dept has issued a circular pertaining such matters. As always, this Boss of mine who apparently have no sense of his own direction decided to follow suit since Queen Elizabeth Hospital, KK and Duchess of Kent Hospital, Sandakan have been implementing the same thing.

Right, for the record we were told just after we begin our PRP years that we are NOT entitled to MC's, then after haggling with the boss and forcing him to call the Pharmacy Dept in PJ who are in charge of registrations of Pharmacists of the country; he was told that we are ENTITLED to MC's. This was of course during the end of last year.

As I have said above we are only told today we ARE NOT entitled for MC's. CONFUSING ISN'T IT. NOW I HAVE SOME COMPASSION FOR THE WHITE LAB RATS THAT I USE TO CUT OPEN DURING MY LAB COURSE.

WE ARE NOTHING BUT LAB RATS. WHOOOPEE.

Frustration is only the tip of the iceberg, beneath we are boiling with anger...

Thus I called my BOSS just after the news that reached to me.. this is how the conversation goes:

"Mr.**** ... i was informed of the matter regarding the MC..."

( i was butted in before i finish the sentence...)

"if you tak puas hati .. hantar surat kepada bahagian farmasi.."

"But Mr.**** is there a circular saying such things??"

"Like i said ahh .. kalau tak puas hati hantar surat .. all the other hospitals are doing it ..."

"it doesn't matter la if the other hospitals are doing it but is the a CIRCULAR* issued by the bahagian farmasi?? .. "

"if you tak puas hati just go write to the bahagian.. " then he slammed the phone down..

*&#*$&&^&Q^&Q**&@^#@.. (me in my head)


to clear up matters i did what i thought the only thing i could... GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE ..

called Bahagian Farmasi in PJ, asked to be connected to the Management Head..

ring ring .. ring ring..

"hello.. (introduce myself..)..."

"i have a question to ask .. as a PRP are we or are we not ENTITLED for MC's.."

"well ... as stated in Registration of Pharmacy Act in ...Section 6A... you have to at least complete your training not less than 1 YEAR ..."

WTF?! i thought i asked a straight to the point kind of question..

"yes, i very well understand that its just that like i asked earlier.. are we or are we not entitled to MC? i thought we as a government officer U41.. we are entitled to everything there is .. is there a exception for PRP?"..

"no.. there's no such exception for PRP .. and yes PRP's are government officer, so you are entitled under the GENERAL ORDER (PERINTAH AM) for MC's....."

"well the thing is .. that my BOSS is saying we are not entitled, Sandakan and Queen and Penang are saying we not entitled.. so i was wondering whether Bahagian Farmasi has issued such circular saying that we are NOT entitled for MC?"

"No.. we haven't issued such circular.. you see doctors houseman are not entitled for MCs as stated under the Medical Act...."

from this point on the WTF?! is minor to what i wanted to say .. don't freaking understand what's medical houseman got to do with pharmacist.. we are not under the freaking Medical Act are we?


"so bottomline ... (shit don't you get tired of asking the same thing?) we are entitled for MC's right?"


"yes"


"so i can call my boss up now, and tell him you said that YES WE ARE ENTITLED FOR MC'S UNDER THE GENERAL ORDER?"


"yes..."


"THANK YOU SO MUCH .. MR.*****... MUCH APPRECIATE YOUR HELP..."


haih ...

I have yet to call my boss and tell him the wonderful news.. im sure his blood pressure going to hit the roof...

GOOD! ..

serves him right ...

Beating around the bush ...

To talk or not to talk ... ask the burning bush.

Just of today, my Boss inform me and my collegues that we are NOT entitled to Medical Leave during our PRP (provisional registered pharmacist) years which is to say from 18th July 2005 till 18th July 2006. Now this has come to no surprise for us since the rumours was started last week after a friend from Penang informed us that the Pharmacy Penang State Dept has issued a circular pertaining such matters. As always, this Boss of mine who apparently have no sense of his own direction decided to follow suit since Queen Elizabeth Hospital, KK and Duchess of Kent Hospital, Sandakan have been implementing the same thing.

Right, for the record we were told just after we begin our PRP years that we are NOT entitled to MC's, then after haggling with the boss and forcing him to call the Pharmacy Dept in PJ who are in charge of registrations of Pharmacists of the country; he was told that we are ENTITLED to MC's. This was of course during the end of last year.

As I have said above we are only told today we ARE NOT entitled for MC's. CONFUSING ISN'T IT. NOW I HAVE SOME COMPASSION FOR THE WHITE LAB RATS THAT I USE TO CUT OPEN DURING MY LAB COURSE.

WE ARE NOTHING BUT LAB RATS. WHOOOPEE.

Frustration is only the tip of the iceberg, beneath we are boiling with anger...

Thus I called my BOSS just after the news that reached to me.. this is how the conversation goes:

"Mr.**** ... i was informed of the matter regarding the MC..."

( i was butted in before i finish the sentence...)

"if you tak puas hati .. hantar surat kepada bahagian farmasi.."

"But Mr.**** is there a circular saying such things??"

"Like i said ahh .. kalau tak puas hati hantar surat .. all the other hospitals are doing it ..."

"it doesn't matter la if the other hospitals are doing it but is the a CIRCULAR* issued by the bahagian farmasi?? .. "

"if you tak puas hati just go write to the bahagian.. " then he slammed the phone down..

*&#*$&&^&Q^&Q**&@^#@.. (me in my head)


to clear up matters i did what i thought the only thing i could... GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE ..

called Bahagian Farmasi in PJ, asked to be connected to the Management Head..

ring ring .. ring ring..

"hello.. (introduce myself..)..."

"i have a question to ask .. as a PRP are we or are we not ENTITLED for MC's.."

"well ... as stated in Registration of Pharmacy Act in ...Section 6A... you have to at least complete your training not less than 1 YEAR ..."

WTF?! i thought i asked a straight to the point kind of question..

"yes, i very well understand that its just that like i asked earlier.. are we or are we not entitled to MC? i thought we as a government officer U41.. we are entitled to everything there is .. is there a exception for PRP?"..

"no.. there's no such exception for PRP .. and yes PRP's are government officer, so you are entitled under the GENERAL ORDER (PERINTAH AM) for MC's....."

"well the thing is .. that my BOSS is saying we are not entitled, Sandakan and Queen and Penang are saying we not entitled.. so i was wondering whether Bahagian Farmasi has issued such circular saying that we are NOT entitled for MC?"

"No.. we haven't issued such circular.. you see doctors houseman are not entitled for MCs as stated under the Medical Act...."

from this point on the WTF?! is minor to what i wanted to say .. don't freaking understand what's medical houseman got to do with pharmacist.. we are not under the freaking Medical Act are we?


"so bottomline ... (shit don't you get tired of asking the same thing?) we are entitled for MC's right?"


"yes"


"so i can call my boss up now, and tell him you said that YES WE ARE ENTITLED FOR MC'S UNDER THE GENERAL ORDER?"


"yes..."


"THANK YOU SO MUCH .. MR.*****... MUCH APPRECIATE YOUR HELP..."


haih ...

I have yet to call my boss and tell him the wonderful news.. im sure his blood pressure going to hit the roof...

GOOD! ..

serves him right ...

obsession of the obsessed.

obssession is a word i rarely use, cause frankly i'm never much obsessed about anything. i might like somethings but obsessed? no, honestly i don't have much obsession. my passion lays in self photography. pushing the limits of my skills as an ametur photographer cum model. ha ha. sounds freaky but thats the way it is. i wish there was 2 of me, one to model and another to take shots. i know what i want, and sometimes i can see it in my head even before the shot is taken.

although i have a new passion now, that is VOLLEYBALL. loved it since i was a kid watching Maero Attack. use to run home after school not wanting to miss it.

brought a sense of a childhood memories back. i've never been a sportsman before, it was never in my genes from what i can tell. it was always my younger brother. hes the sporty child in the family. football freak, he does me head off when we were kids back then cos there's only one telly and he'll be wanting to watch the football match. me and my older sister had to fight him for the remote. it was horrible. ha ha. we would drag him by the feet out of the room. then lock him out.. he he he. anyways, only when i got here to this QUIET old town (its established since 1920's i think) i started to fill my time with healthy, sweaty sports like badminton and volleyball. you get the feel-good hormones spiking your blood stream, after every game. makes me feel like im on top of the world. the best part of all is being able to block and sometimes spike considering that i've only been playing for a month. the ball cost a bomb though a really good one MV2001 i think the specs is about RM99. the better ones cost more than that. bought 2 balls, the first one was a cheaper version. REGRETTED whole heartedly cos its hard as rocks and if you try playing with it you'll get ruptured veins and petechia (er.. lebam in english apa??). BRUISES.. demn it. seems my bilingual brain is having a holiday, tomorows a public holiday! woohoooo.. another day to work on my never ending research. urgh!!..
lately couple of my friends admitted that they feel lonely, the integral part of being in created in two's. its natural to feel wanted and to be wanted. its natural to desire connections and security in all forms possible. i suppose i am used to that feeling, having to grow up with it its like a part of me that i cannot discard. i look at it with amusement and perhaps comfort knowing something familiar is there with me. we all grow up and we all move on, my friend moved on from where we all began and sometimes its enevitable that they too seem to have move on from me. its alright, its ok. its part of the journey. lonely cannot be cured nor can it be replaced. we just have to accept it and in the process of it perhaps i'll learn the way of appreciating being wanted. these emotions are here for a reason. like coconuts have endless uses, perhaps this feeling has its. we might not know it but hey just try to get along with it. for my lonely friends, take it as it is and grow from it...

Stars.

"I am like a star, seldom seen but always there. Next time you see a star, remember me"

- J e m -

How we all once in our lifetime wishes on the stars for our hearts desires. Otheres conjures spells and magic upon the brightest light in the dark sky to perhaps bring blessings on us. There are those who uses the star as guidance to guide the wide open seas of our mind. Some wonders in awe at the magnificences of the mysterious light in the sky, inspiring endless poets and bards with words of bliss.

turning around.

i do things because i want to do it.

i run because i feel like it.

i say what i want to say because i won't be around forever.

i love because i love because i can.

i wait for no man to tell me how to run my life.

thus i cut my vanity from me and i live.

i will be the person i want to be.

Sebatik Adventure..

The Line was bad, the connection can only be detected at certain parts of the island. else where its zero connection, to make it even worse i didn't bring the chargers to both my handset and my smartphone and both went dead in the morning of the 2nd day. all in all i was almost in total isolation. this yuppie was asking for it. surprisingly; i realize i didn't need those gadgets to keep me connected. i am connected, my mind and my spirit. unseen bonds that stretches for miles on end. i am connected. if not with the people of this earth. then perhaps with the earth itself.

left for Sebatik Island during the midday heat of friday. after fridan prayers. loaded up the boat and we sped off into the evening sun towards the all too much said island of Sebatik. Half under the jurisdiction of Malaysia; the other the Republic of Indonesia. Its like Cyprus in a way, but without the bloodshed. The killings and the nationalistic movement. Here, they don't go by nationalism but rather by ethnic groups.

Here are some of known ethnic tribes that i have encountered so far in the district of Tawau:

• Bajau (there's the Darat [Land] group & Laut [Sea] group)
• Banjar
• Bugis (originally from South of Sulawesi)
• Bolongan
• Brunei (Brunei)
• Suluk (Southern Phillipines)
• Visaiya (Phillipines originally)
• Kadazan
• Dusun
• Tidung (area of Kalabakan originally)
• Iban
• Others: those from Mixed marriages like the Kadazan-Dusun or SinoKadazan (Chinese Kadazans).

There are many-many more that i have yet to know, perhaps when i travel more into this mysterious island under the wind. Sabah, one of our last frontier of our own country, deprived of attention by our Mainland leaders. Its modernization programmes are only concentrated in the cities such as Kota Kinabalu or Sandakan. As for the rest of Sabah, don't expect running waters or 24/7 electricity.

The island of Sebatik itself has no running water, its gathered from rainfall or pumped up from a well. The roads are sposored by the villages themselves. Its no wonder that Semananjung-ian are look upon by them with wearful look. we deem these people to be backwater and devoid of modernization but then i asked who's fault is it in the first place? the federal government could have provided more. but as always they've to wait for the next election with all the sweet empty promises. i don't know what the People's Rep promised them, but for sure I don't think they are getting it.

But I do applaud the Ministry of Health, State; for coming up with these Out-Reach programmes annually, sometimes 2 - 3 times a year. Sometimes with a restricted budget the staff of Ministry of Health goes through water and land into the remotest places to brings health services to the people of Sabah. They have to endure rough terrains, malaria infested area, lawlessness (in some parts of Sabah), heat and rain. The programms like the one i took part provided health screening such as medical, dental and eye and health education. we provided talks on good hygiene, malaria check up and Glucose and Triglyceride tests. with barely enough stuff we do try our best to bring what the people needs. i can't say i didn't enjoy the experience regardless of the heat, the rain, the lack of TV, and the lack of DIGI coverage. the whole aspect of being there myself to see, to touch and talk to these people brings some comfort in me. I think i've chosen the right profession even though at times i feel like i want to give up.

These health programmes need sponsors, perhaps there are all those rich a$$ Tuns, Tan Sris Toh Puans, Datuks, Datins and such who would love to donate a Ringgit or two for these people sakes. Especially those People's Rep whose these people have voted for in the first place. i think they should be reminded that they wouldn't be there if it weren't for these people. You need them and they need you. Get that FACT straight. The Ministry has only limited resources, i hope some day those RICH a$$ buggers could lend out a hand for us to continue providing the health services. The Sebatik Island Health Programm itself cost RM18,000.00 for a 2 nigths and 3 days show. even then we have to do with a few cutbacks like accomodation is not a 4 star hotel, some slept in sleeping bags (me :P) while others slept on the foldable army camp beds. can't say its comfortable. but i suppose it will do.

Then there was a group who got involved with the programm, but i really cannot say i appreciate their help. they came on the last day, bearing vitamins tablets and syrup and deworming medications, all they did was to pass out this stuff and took pictures. i wasn't sure their purpose was to hand out medications or to reach out to the people. this NGO bearing the logo of a wheel, (what goes around comes around concept? karma? dunno.. ) took pictures like they were the only ones doing the hardwork. they didn't even stay there... hah! it didn't matter if they didn't even came. we were already doing fine thank you.

Fun is understated, its more than fun. its food for the soul. ive met people bearing the roughness of life and scars of memories. ive met people who walk to kebun (orchard) to and fro half an hour journey everyday to tend to it. ive met those who who 'Kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang' (translation .. er .. no freaking idea). these are the kind of people that brings reality back to life. these are the people that brings you down to earth. these are the people that lives their life.

we need more than just money to survive, more than just everyday ritual of mamak stalls talking about football and music and the latest craze. more than just living your life everyday as if tomorow you live forever. more than just saying keeping your hands to yourself. lets all wake up and smell the coffee. perhaps we'll snap out of our fantasy.

Lets all join Mercy Malaysia.

:)

Until another programme comes along...

Tawau over and Out.

island hopping ..

woooooooohooo .... im half excited and half scared.

excited that ill finally make it to PULAU SEBATIK in this lifetime. always wanted to go since i heard of it, but the hospital staff warned that it could be dangerous for non local.

half scared that its some place nearer the Indon Border. i hope i don get kidnapped! haha.. as if.

leaving today at 2.30pm by speedboat, im under the wings of Dr.Ajit Eye specialist. demn it, i havent read the eye meds stuff yet .. hahaha.. better be reading on the journey there.

right. im almost all packed, brought everything except the kitchen sing my mon would love to tease me :) ... hehe.

woooooooooo hooooooooo...



Lock and Loaded ..

• underwear ... check
• toiletries .... check
• camera .... check
• sunglass... check ..
• sleeping bag ... yep got it.

got everything packed, leaving in approx. 1.5 hours. rendenvous at the yacth club.

armed and prepared.. :)

im all set for my next adventure.

as always, boss got me to do stuff on the day of my departure, running around to the wards and getting clinical practise guidelines to update our mini library (we don't really have one, thus ive been assigned to start one.. whooopee... rolling my eyes).

things to do before i leave this swampy yet exciting place:

• pharmacy role in the paediatrics ward.
• list of drugs that have renal issues.
• my research "the trend in prescribing pattern, drug-drug interaction in the Geriatrics in Hospital T."
• OPD hypertensive drug display.

WTF is understated :) ... i'll reorganized my self once i get back. until then .. im on semi holiday.

ALL FOR THE PEOPLE.

GO BEBEH GO.

treading waters

it isn't a cause for concern,

it isn't something i chose to do.

the water is knee deep,

the water is cold.

i just want know if i could leap,

over these rocks.

i'll live in this lifetime,

with sweat and blood,

i'll survive through this flood.

thank you.

thank you.

thank you.

...continued...

life is a constant
change..

moving from one shape to another, it forms endlessly in a constant evolution; developing certain aspects of its being and losing some in
the process.

in the minang culture; leaving home and finding the riches of the world is an adat. men for centuries from
this exquisite matiriachal society has left their homes and found wealth else where until to certain time in their life when they feel as if they've gotten enough; they'll come back. buy land, build a home and settle down.

for my part, ive only done 2 of the 3 above. left home and found my riches; while the last one i left to fate to decide. what ever will be will be, Que Sara, Sara. so the song goes.

tonight was the last night before my friends leaves for his next posting in Kota Marudu. a quiet little town settling on the route to Kudat @ The Tip of Borneo. i suppose i musn't feel that sad, i mean its facts of life that things are suppose to be what they are and as men; we are suppose to conquer the world. these hands and stocky legs aren't built to be stationary. even if we are rooted to some place, it has to be cut off so that new roots can be born.

the star fish above wasn't in that natural position. i was walking along the beach and i saw this star fish swimming along in the sand just around my ankles. out of curiousity i turn over the starfish, wondering how the bottom part looks like. one of its arm was regenerating, creating new limbs from the ones that were cut off. no, i didn't do it thank you. as i was watching at the wonders of the animal world, it tried to flip over itself slowly, curving the arms under itself till it can push itself over side up again.

then there was these turd looking mounts above the waving sand. with rings made of continous line going round in circles. the line begins in the middle of the mount. being excreted by some muscles sort creatures, tried to dig it out but to no luck it dissapeared as soon as i touched it.

there's so much to see in this world, staying all your life in one place leads to a small portrait where as if you move and open up your inhibitions, then its a bigger painting. one that needs more than one sitting to appreciate.

im suppose i am quite adventurous, albeit a city boy; but at heart i live in a kampung. i prefer the serenity of the jungle and the vibrant of the cultures. sabah is a place where it has everything, it offers much much more than what Kuala Lumpur can. the people here are much friendlier, the people you meet are endless. theres so many ethnics group to learnt from. learn to eat the buras from the Bugis, or the language of the Dusuns. when it comes to anthropology, its heaven here.

well, i just hope this fren of mine survives what his new posting has to offer, be ready for openess yet let your principles be your guidance...

all the best...

running away from myself ...

i begin my journey north, forever north since i live in the south. a chance to ran away again and to stop thinking about the worries of work. i suppose once in again, like most times i get away to rethink about life; my life to be precise.

'what have i done' and 'why am i here?' are commonly asked in my head. trying to justify my life here, trying to place myself in the hectic world that revolves around no one but on its own time and pace.

im trying to find my niche. a little spot in the great wall of time. to carve a space of my own to wonder if i'll ever be as magnificent as Julius Caesar or even the fable Hang tuah.

my pace is slow, but im going somewhere. i know it and i can feel it.. so i took myself on a thousand kilometer journey, that goes through inhospitable terrains, moutainous regions and the wide open sea.

i lugged myself on the airplane, spent the night in KK and the then took the ferry to labuan... where the skies are blue and the waters are green.

the sun welcomes me into its bossom with a mighty blast of its heat, and the sea breeze cuddles me in its soft touches.. i am here.

there was no agenda, no hidden objectives just me wanting to be here. i wanted to rest my aching body, my disollusioned spirits and my tiring mind. the joy of 4 days of not thinking about work, to just drive the car endlessly around and around till i get where i began the road.

i wasn't expecting much, i wasn't expecting white pearly beaches with clear blue waters with colourful fishes swimming about in the reefs. all i expected was to enjoy the time i am here. its funny that only here am i able to sit and watch the news, to sit and read the papers.

can't say i like reading the papers, its just giving me the oppurtunity to lambast the follies of our government in handling certain issues. as the recent event involving a Customes Complex worth 1,200,000,000,000.00 (is that how many zeros in a billion?) and a compesation to the apparent construction company of 300,000,000.00 (millions). and guess what, when it comes to the health sector for medications budget especially for the hospital i work in is only 300,000.00 for the whole year, and yet doctors are blaming us when it comes to nil-in-stock medications. why? because we can'f afford to order any more. we are restricted with a tight budget. yes, it doesn't matter we can't treat patients, health is not important. we should all die is the underlying statement not said.

we are underpaid and underappreciated, working our ass off trying to make someelse's life better. yet we are prone to superinfection of microorganism, exposes to severe diseases like AIDS, have stress level as high as the eiffel tower and blood pressure that keeps hitting the roof. we are paid with peanuts, i wish the government reviews our pays. where have all the money gone??

took some time off from taking pictures of myself, talk has been going round saying about my vanity; please let it be known i am not vain. it lies much deeper of which i would rather no one else knows about it... walking down the beach i suddenly realize how beautiful the world is. if i wasn't to engrossed in my own little world perhaps i would notice the world more. people dies everyday and i wonder if they ever notice the world before they die? its beautiful, and for the many times in my life i'm happy to be alive. to be able to see the world as it is, to have met bountiful good friends and to have my family with me. i'm lucky, AMIN! ..

... to be continued.....

being me

I rise from the recesses of my own entrapments.

within my binded flight are my wings set free.

i will endure what the skies bear to me,

for i will be me.

being in labuan..

im here in labuan, touch down since yesterday after a 3 hour trip from Kota Kinabalu via ferry. shouldn't have come alone, the ferry ride was a bore and the couple seating behind me talking tagalog wasn't much help alleviating the boredom.

it has been a strange 2 days, i've met with frens i've never met before and i've gotten to know the shaddy part of labuan. the underworld or so to say; well perhaps just a glimpse. my friend's brother happens to work in a security service company, running the labuan branch and when you work in those areas you are bound to know those who 'runs' the island during the night. it isnt the police or the secret service. its the thugs and the 'bonZers'.

now before everyone jumps to the conclusion that these are terrible people; though only if you cross their line; they are some what for some a really nice. had the chance to met with a few and yep they look alright for me from safe distance that i was.

the underworld or the 'night' world would always be everywhere albeit in semenanjung or the any of the thousands of islands in the archipelago. its hidden, working behind the scenes and in most parts they are the actual powers.

police have no powers here, their credibility as a efficient law enforcing machine has long gone. corruption has tainted its image, to find a good clean policemen would be some what almost impossible. in my experience; things that i have seen with my own eye has taught me that the royal malaysian police have a loooooooooong way to go before they are truly trustworthy. seize illegal items are never safe from prying hands, albeit its as unregistered drugs from the phillipines or the many many indon islands. do they care about the public? i think thats the least that is on their mind.

i suppose im just dissolusioned with all the things that have been going on. i want malaysia to be a nice safe place, where anyone can go out with the sense of security that you can even leave the gates open and no one will pry in. but i guess my kind of utopia is still waaaaaaaaaaay in dreams. i just hope that someday, just someday things would turn around voila, i'll get my utopia.

inside my heaven.

pictures from my backyard heaven.

a sudden expression

I suffered a momentary lapse of time, I cannot understand how so many years have passed since I last saw the person that whom I deeply surrendered my soul to. Like some tragedy that befell on the unfortunates, I am one of them. How unfortunate that the turn of events in my life had me forgotten the time that has flown so fast and too quickly.

I closed my eyes once again, hoping to picture the person I have once seen without my eyes, whom I seen with my senses of smell, of touch and of perhaps love.

Was there ever love? I cannot deny it nor can I admit it. It was what it was; some unknown wonder that lifted me up like a bird flying and soaring amidst the white clouds.

Alas, things never last no matter how much I wanted it to. The end is an absolute, the infamous twin of the beginning. But while it lasted I tasted heaven, the very ambrosia of the heavens I swallowed all. I savored and I did not waste one drop.

The heat of the momentous chemistry burns with an explosion of sparks that I was blinded for days on end.

And now and I glance back into the past of the things that were, I cannot help to wonder if I might once again be given the chance to relieve the experience with yet another if not the same?

Hope will always be inside me, waiting and hoping and waiting still for that time once again. My very inner spirits lies in the faith of hoping for better things to come, suffering and pain is inevitable but it is never overcome. It is never the excuse to give up when things go rough, even if the stick that broke my back came crashing down again, there will always be hope of recovery in the essence of my soul.